Shark Attack!

Heroes: Jag, Atobe Keigo, Pacci, and Zeke
Enemies: MEGALODON, Sen. Yeda, Sen. Falco, Sen. Calamus and Atobe Kunimitsu


Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 34

Recent Duties: Although you couldn't agree with the primitive laws and superstitions of that tribal society, the law here in Oeila has fallen a lot further if they'd dare put a law-abiding man like YOU in jail. You sense a corrupt core to this big apple, and you're about to show the ring-leaders that Jag is more dangerous than any shark.

Troop Status

-Now that you're back in the city with decent cell-phone reception, you've informed Mattar, Shellback and the rest of the Shark Pack of your predicament. Outraged that any lawyer could be thrown in jail, it should only be a matter of time until they arrive on the scene.

Military Communiques

-From what you've observed, this city of Oeila seems to be the stronghold of the missing Senators, and they seem to be up to no good. Kilant has ordered you to investigate their plans, and if at all possible capture them and bring them to justice.

Personal Notes

-Most of the city's elite have been invited on some sort of cruise on the city's famous Crystal Sea. You've heard that the patron of this event is none other than Senator Calamus himself. Not inviting you was clearly a huge oversight on their part, and thus you'll have to find some way onto the ship to remind them of this.

-To add insult to injury, you've heard that your arch-rival Jackie Chiles is on the guest list for the upcoming high-profile cruise. Of course, you're not sure if he'll have made it back from the Jungle in time to attend, but the social slight fills you with outrage nonetheless.

-A few people in this city are a bit shaken up about the recent shark attacks that have been reported on the city's beautiful beaches. As far as you're concerned, they should be far more concerned about you, after they dared to throw you in jail. You're the real shark around here, and you intend to prove it.

-Don't people in this city have any decency? While down on the beach scoping out the Senator's ship, you saw a guy trying to convince his girlfriend to run around naked in the waves. Public nudity is against the law, and even if it's not, it should be.

Mini-Objective

-Comment as often as possible about how lawyers are the REAL sharks.

-Convince everyone in this city that you're far more dangerous than any shark through any means necessary.

-Capture the renegade Senators.

 

Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 33

Recent Duties: You should have known that all those Spherans would only get you in trouble. As far as you're concerned, jail is where they should remain. The same doesn't go for you, however, and you're happy to be back to some level of civilization. Unfortunately, things in this city still aren't quite as civil as you might like...

Troop Status

-You've still heard no word from Stenda and the rest of Seigaku. With any luck, however, Lubosh drowned during the flood or the subsequent shark attack.

Military Communiques

-You seem to have found yourself smack dab in the middle of Senator Calamus' stronghold, and from what you've seen, he's up to no good. His control over the city also seems stronger than expected. Before things get more out of hand, Commander Kilant has ordered you to use your cover to get close to him and then capture the corrupt Senator.

Personal Notes

-In its idyllic location on the Crystal Sea, Oeila is famous as a vacation location for honeymooners – perhaps this is the reason why it's so ridiculously disgusting! Everywhere you look, couples are smooching in public and fondling each other in inappropriate ways. Despite Dust's frequent accusations of your 'public affair,' you've never been able to stand this sort of filth. You thought once you were out of the jungle people would have some level of decor again, but apparently it's up to you to teach them.

-At least this town has some modern amenities. You noticed a gym and sports club on one of the main streets. Nobody plays sports like you do, and with any luck they even have some tennis courts. You could really go for a game or two.

 

Mini-Objective

-Put a stop to as much inappropriate public fondling as possible.

-Defeat and capture Senator Calamus.

-Safeguard the life of your mother.

 

 

Pacci – supreme Commander’s Report 25

Recent Duties: Well, obviously someone in this city has got their wires crossed. Locking up a supreme commander like you, how ridiculous! You've got to clear up this matter with whoever's responsible. There have been far too many people overstepping your authority lately as it is.

Troop Status

-You don't know what happened to Bumblebee after that flood, but whatever it is, you're certain General Quacci has kept him safe. You just can't drown a duck, you know.

Military Communiques

-You've heard from Commander Kilant that someone named 'Senator Calamus' seems to think he's been running this city. Apparently, this is one of the senators who's been unaccounted for since the politicians fled the capital. Clearly somebody needs to inform him just what a high-ranking individual he's dealing with.

Personal Notes

-You can't help but be impressed by the sheer size of the shark that attacked your boat. With such a big mouth, that shark could eat practically ANYTHING. In fact, it might even think it's capable of eating more than you. Of course, in that regard it is sadly mistaken. Nobody eats more than Pacman, and you intend to prove it, even if it means eating this whole city out of food.

-Wow, there's so many stores in this town, you bet you could put together some really great costumes. It's too bad you don't have any money to do it with. Oh well, you're a hard-working guy, and a supreme commander, surely there has to be a way to make some money around here. After all, you saw they even have an arcade, and no one knows more about vintage arcade machines than you do.

-Yiick! People in this town seem awfully touchy-feely. Why, on the balcony of some hotel down by the beach, you saw a couple smooching it up like no tomorrow. You'd tell them to get a hotel room, but apparently they already did. As far as you're concerned, mouths are much better used for eating than for kissing anyway.

 

Mini-Objective

-Eat as much as possible to out-eat MEGALODON!

-Explain to whoever's in charge of this city about what a big mistake it was to throw a Supreme Commander in prison.

 

 

 

Zeke – Officer’s Report 24

Recent Duties: Boy, just when a guy thought he could get some peaceful business done, everything has to erupt into chaos. One minute, you were twirling your cane and hawking “Dr. Ewell B. Saari's Magic Party Mix,” and the next the place is ablaze with gunfire and Spheran soldiers. You barely made it out onto those boats Jag was setting up, and had to leave most of your goods behind. But for a businessman like you, there's got to be a way to recoupe your losses.

Troop Status

-Your boys wound up on a different boat than you, and you haven't seen them since arriving in the city. You sure hope nothing happened to them. Well, the men you don't care about quite so much, but the bikes!! Those are expensive!!

Military Communiques

-You haven't bothered calling in for any new orders, as quite frankly you're not sure you want any right now. At least not til your boys show up anyway.

Personal Notes

-Unfortunately, your Delta Mark IV seems to have been badly waterlogged during your aquatic escape. It's going to take a little while to dry out, which means you're without a set of wheels in the meantime. You hate being without wheels.

-From what you've seen, people are somewhat concerned about the recent reports of shark attacks – but not nearly as concerned as they should be. After all, scared people are the most irrational kind, and are usually willing to buy almost anything. You're sure a man with a nose for business like you can scare some up if you create the right motivation.

-You've heard that the shark attacks haven't deterred the plans for some kind of high-class, cruise-ship party that's setting sail later today. Just more indication that people aren't as scared of sharks as they should be in this town. Still, if there's a party, you're a party man and you intend to be there.

-Word on the street that one of the guests of honour at this cruise-ship party is your old pal, Mr. Robles. You certainly wouldn't mind the chance to catch up – and find out what the deal was with that installation in the jungle.

-Yikes! There's plenty to be scared of in this city. While down on the beach scoping out the shark threat, you noticed an enormous Fat Man in a Speedo lumbering about! Now that's a sight to make you flee the scene with all haste!

Mini-Objective

-Hype up rumors of shark attacks and find some way to profit from the resulting fear and hysteria.

-Find your way onto this party cruise-ship to schmooze with the elite.


Adventure Summary
The Adventure curtain opens with our heroes, Jag, Keigo, Pacci and Zeke, along with the Spheran knight Sir Karsh and a platoon of his men. Keigo and Jag both vie for captaining the ship, while Zeke takes the tiller and claims to know the right direction to go from a 'compass' that hangs on a chain around his neck.

The journey does not go peacefully for long; our heroes promptly spot a gigantic approaching shark fin, and feel their rickety fishing boat shake as the monstrous aquatic creature rams into it. Desperately, they try to counter the shark attack with a variety of cheesy and unconventional methods. The shark seems resistant to the bags of grenades Jag keeps dumping in the water, while Zeke's attempts to Go Get his Shotgun are stymied by the shark ramming him away. Keigo tries to distract the shark with some Shark Bait in the form of Sir Karsh, but the other Spherans, appalled, quickly haul their leader out of the water. Jag finally declares that he knows how to deal with the shark, brandishing his puny handgun menacingly, while Pacci screams to spare the shark in the name of science. The real damage is done, however, when Zeke begins taking close up shots of Keigo's body with his video camera, for which she angrily shoves him in the water. Disgusted by Zeke's antics, the Spherans refuse to help him, and the shark, Megalodon, is lured in close enough for Pacci to pounce on it with a bat. This gives Jag the time he needs to get his shotgun and finish off the shark. The boat survives the attack, though it is badly damaged.

Before long, the exhausted heroes drift into port in the city of Oeila, Electra's famous city on the sea. They are shocked to be immediately placed under arrest for collusion with the Spherans and hauled off to prison.

The sheriff at the prison is quick to tell them they won't escape, and he's held tougher criminals than them in his cell. Zeke angrily shakes the bars like a belligerent biker leader, and yells how once the Wheel finds out, they're gonna come and bust him out and ride all over this town. The heroes are then visited by a pair of Senators, Yeda and Falco, who have been missing since the riot in Electra City. Falco goes on a long non-sensical rant about 'sea-snakes' while Yeda crawls into their bags and begins throwing about their possessions. In the end, not only do the two Senators refuse to release the heroes, but end up appropriating their money as 'political donations' to the cause.

After the Senators leave, the Sheriff goes out to grab some lunch for the prisoners. Jag takes the opportunity to hide under his bed, which causes the flabbergasted Sheriff to believe he's escaped, thanks to some taunting from Zeke. Our heroes then escape from the cells and out into the town.

Most are interested in retrieving their possessions and stopping the rogue Senators. These goals seem to coincide in a cruise for the city's elite taking place later that afternoon. But as wanted men, our heroes will need disguises in order to get onboard. They disperse throughout the city to perform various oddjobs to raise the funds necessary to buy costume accessories.

Jag visits the University, where he gives a sessional lecture that mainly seems to involve how much better lawyers are than sharks, mainly due to the amount of money made by the former. He then gives the class an impossible quiz which they all fail. He also visits the beach, where the beach-goers soon learn their lifeguard is far more dangerous than anything in the water.

Keigo too visits the beach and the University. At the former, she uses her elevated position and megaphone to berate fondling couples and smash tennis balls at them, nearly causing several to drown. At the university, she gives a "sociology" lecture about young women's self-respect and the inherent inferiority of the Spheran race. Finally, she visits the hotel and sets fire to the curtains to a room where a romantic couple are smooching on the balcony and talking about murdering their respective spouses.

Pacci's first visit is to an Arcade, where his incredible knowledge of vintage games not only earns him lots of money, but also unlimited pitas at the Pita Pit set up in the Arcade. He remarks to the grimy kids that even a shark couldn't eat as much as he could. He proves this point again at the hotel, where after working as an enthusiastic bellhop, he eats all the left-overs in the kitchen. At the construction site, he takes on a challenge to eat the lunch of every man there, which he does with ease, much to their amazement.

Zeke also visits the construction yard, and expresses his shock that the building doesn't have armored plating and defense turrets on the plans. After all, nothing short of that would stop the GIANT SHARKS that are circling just off the coast. Zeke then heads to the beach to film some of this 'panic' first-hand, which he then markets as a shark-warning video or 'Girls Gone Wild,' depending on the audience. This goes over well at the pub that Zeke visits next, where from behind the bar counter he continues to talk up the shark attack stories.

Finally, after some shopping trips to various establishments, the heroes meet up to see what kind of disguises they can put together. With a Fake Mustache, Large Glasses and a Dark Suit, Jag transforms himself into a man they know all too well, prominent lawyer Jackie Chiles. Zeke uses a Brown Jumpsuit, a Toy Gun and a Backpack to make himself into the famous Ghostbuster, Peter Venckman. Keigo takes the Swirly Skirt, the Sparkly Wand, the Mask and the Colored Wig to bring the mighty Moon Princess back once again to banish evil. Pacci is left with only a sheet, which he drapes over his head to become a Ghost, a perfect excuse for Peter Venckman to be on the ship. Once onboard, however, he abandons this disguise in favor of a simple football, with which he claims he is the rich and powerful owner of a Football Team.

Once on the ship, the characters mingle with the crowd. Keigo finds even in such a 'high-class' setting, there's no shortage of fondling going on, and spills drinks all over the ship's owner, Mr. Ruis, for fondling his useless girlfriend under the table. Zeke schmoozes with Mr. Robles, while "Mr. Owner" talks up his football team and berates the Senators, and Atobe Kunimitsu, who our heroes find to their surprise is also on the ship, for the rumors he's heard about the Supreme Commander of the Conventionals being thrown in jail. Calamus makes an address to the crowd asking for their political donations in order to 'save the Republic' and makes it clear he's hoping for Robles to contribute the new weapon that his company is developing.

As Calamus concludes his speech, Keigo approaches him and asks to speak in private. The two leave, just as moments later, the ship is rocked from the impact of a massive MEGALODON, the size of a Greyhound bus! The patrons begin panicking, and Senators Falco and Yeda flee below deck.

Jag, Pacci and Zeke give chase, and find the snivelling Falco cowering in a room along with their money and possessions. He is not alone, however; the regal and daunting Atobe Kunimitsu declares our heroes have been a disgrace to her daughter for long enough, and vows to send them down with the ship. The battle erupts in full force, and though in spite of his sea-snake Falco falls quickly, the Fire Mage Kunimitsu proves to be no easy opponent. Protected by a Wall of Fire, which our heroes have trouble crossing, she flings psychic attacks as the room continually grows hotter. Keigo eventually arrives on the scene, but seems torn between the two sides. Kunimitsu's use of her Middle Name, however, forces her to launch some attacks on the heroes. Jag and Pacci both fall, and it's up to an enraged Zeke to finally burst through the fiery wall and deliver a punch chock-full of pent-up revenge. Kunimitsu is sent crumpling against a wall, and Keigo rushes to her side, fearing her death and threatening Zeke's life if such is the case. Although battered, Kunimitsu's pride is far from defeated and takes the time to berate her daughter's weakness and treachery. But for now, she would continue to live.

The same could not be said to Senator Calamus. Bursting from the ship onboad a jet-ski, the politician looked over his shoulder with an evil smile at the sinking ship. However, that expression quickly turned to one of horror as looking about, he saw a platoon of lawyers on jet-skis engulfing him, with William Mattar in dead-centre. Schmitzer fire tore into the Senator's body, which was promptly then devoured by Megalodon, who rose up out of the waves in the lawyers' midst. From the deck of the ship, our heroes asked Mattar how they'd gotten the great shark to cooperate. Mattar only smiled, and said that they spoke the shark's language. Because after all, lawyers are the real sharks.


Major Characters this Session

MEGALODON!
Race: Shark
Rank: Shark
Affiliation: Shark

Mighty MEGALODON was a gigantic, prehistoric shark the size of a Greyhound Bus that lurked in the waters near the famous Electran city of Oeila. His massive size made him all but indomitable, and his toothy maw could swallow people and even small BOATS completely whole. However, Megalodon had not only brawn, but possessed a predatory cunning as well, and has since been known to show up in a surprising variety of locations. He truly is the monster of monsters.

Falco
Race: Electran
Rank: Senator
Affiliation: Senator Calamus' Rogue Senate

Senator Falco was a dark-skinned, weaselly looking man in a Roman style toga. A former member of the Electran Senate, he fled and joined with Senator Calamus in an attempt to oust Kilant and seize back control of the Senate and the capital. His main characteristic was his obsession with a certain 'sea-snake,' that would lie in wait for its enemies and allow them to take small bites of itself before striking.

Yeda
Race: Electran
Rank: Senator
Affiliation: Senator Calamus' Rogue Senate

Yeda was another former Senator who had pledged her support to Senator Calamus. An ancient crone of a woman with brown robes and a walking stick, Yeda proclaimed to be the oldest and wisest of the Senators. Given her predisposition to talking like a fortune cookie, it was difficult to either verify or dispute this claim.



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