Heroes: Jag, Atobe Keigo, Kabuto, Pacci, Dust and Lord Flash
Enemies: Lord Brindon, Ultra Magnus and Rodric Omega
Jag – Officer’s Dispatch 42
Recent Duties: Three days have passed since the death of Special Forces Sniper Captain Khaurus Vanbaal. In that time, news of the vicious sacking of Denchulli villages has spread like wildfire, and the Denchulli people are taking to arms all across the planet to a degree that the peaceful world has never witnessed before. Electra, faced with the death of such a high-ranking officer, is unwilling to back down without a full Denchulli de-militirization, and so rather than subside, the conflict seems likely only to escalate further.
Troop Status
-Supplies: Schmitzer SMGs, Armored Flak Vests, Deluxe Laywers’ suits, space-titanium armored briefcases, and a fleet of jet-skis. Fortunately, repossessing the 'dangerous' weapons at the McFarlane farm should keep you supplied for a little while now.
-Morale: The Shark Pack is growing somewhat anxious over participating in a war that shows no sign of ending, and what's more, fighting on the Denchulli side of it. They'd much rather be back in an office where they belong.
-Health: The Shark Pack is getting restless – restless and hungry. And you know all too well what happens when sharks get hungry...
Military Communiques
-With the death of the heroic Major Lanver, the Denchulli seem to have turned to Dust and this Darth Vector for leadership. Of course, as one of the founders of the Denchulli Constitution, you expect to be fully consulted on all matters of importance.
-Denchulli action against the invading Electran forces has only grown more aggressive, even resulting in some suicide bombings against Electran targets. The Electran government seemed to initially believe this 'peace-keeping' mission could be accomplished with a small, efficient force, but their military contribution has been forced to grow almost by the day.
Personal Notes
-McMason has brought you disturbing news; apparently the Electran forces defeated at Caer Ostreimburg were all killed when the Auxiliaries stormed the castle after your departure. Although you're strongly against such summary executions, McMason is hopeful however that this will at least allow him to get some great shots
-Vidal Sassoon is extremely irate over his participation in the last field operation, having apparently been promised he'd been relieved from field duty.
-You may not believe in this Denchulli “blar-nee,” but it's still evident to you that something strange is going on here. The barbaric razing of Denchulli villages has you baffled, as does the presence of the mysterious mercenary Baldwin. You came to this planet to ferret out the truth, while this campaign may not have ended with the magic answer 42, coincidentally enough your reports have. And that means you intend to have all the answers as well.
Mini-Objective
-Find out the truth behind life, the universe and everything, and restore law and justice to the galaxy.
Pacci – supreme Commander’s Report 35
Recent Duties: Three days have passed since the death of Special Forces Sniper Captain Khaurus Vanbaal. In that time, news of the vicious sacking of Denchulli villages has spread like wildfire, and the Denchulli people are taking to arms all across the planet to a degree that the peaceful world has never witnessed before. Electra, faced with the death of such a high-ranking officer, is unwilling to back down without a full Denchulli de-militirization, and so rather than subside, the conflict seems likely only to escalate further.
Troop Status
-Supplies: PK-89 “Reaper” Handguns, Bright Yellow Deluxe Uniforms, Combat Helmets, Steel Breastplates, a Verizon wireless cell-phone, Protoman's Whistle and a sack of potatoes. Fortunately, supplies from Vanbaal's troops should keep your weapons loaded for a while now.
-Morale: The Pac is as confused as you are that everyone is still fighting. As far as they were concerned, your brilliant concert was the wrap-up that everybody needed.
-Health: In general, the Pac would much rather be eating than fighting, though of course, if push comes to shove they're willing to do both. Preferably at the same time.
Military Communiques
-You've heard that even more Electran troops have been arriving on the planet. Can't these guys get a clue? Dr. Wily is beaten and the war is over! You've tried to call up Kilant back on Electra to tell him this yourself, but apparently, your In plan is terrible on long distance and only includes coverage to your in-network of friends.
Personal Notes
-In spite of your extremely important status as Supreme Commander of...well, things in general...people continue to committ the same old mistake of NOT LISTENING TO YOU!! You've tried over and over to convince them there's really no need to fight any more, and you just need to sit back and enjoy the ending of this campaign. You're not sure what more you can do, short of beating down the campaign End Boss just to show them up for the fake that they are.
Mini-Objective
-Find and defeat the so-called campaign “end boss” to show what a phony they really are.
Dust – Officer’s Report 37
Recent Duties: Three days have passed since the death of Special Forces Sniper Captain Khaurus Vanbaal. In that time, news of the vicious sacking of Denchulli villages has spread like wildfire, and the Denchulli people are taking to arms all across the planet to a degree that the peaceful world has never witnessed before. Electra, faced with the death of such a high-ranking officer, is unwilling to back down without a full Denchulli de-militirization, and so rather than subside, the conflict seems likely only to escalate further.
Troop Status
-Supplies: X-3 Phantom Rifles, Camouflage Scout Uniforms, Sniper Scopes, Rifle Tripods, Climbing Spikes. Fortunately, you've pilfered enough ammunition from the Bloody Ravens' supply to last for a while now. At least that Vanbaal was good for something.
-Morale: Unusual as it may seem, even your men are getting whipped up into a patriotic frenzy over the defense of their homeland. Some have even started to refer to the whole affair as a “wee bit o' holy war!”
Denhculli Defenders!: So long as they fight on Denchulli soil, the Boyo Scouts gain +1 to all Attack and Defense rolls.
-Health: It's amazing what a healthy, home-cooked meal can do for you. The Boyos are in better health than they ever were under that awful Electran military fare.
Military Communiques
-With the death of the heroic Major Lanver, the people of Denchul have turned to your own military experience for leadership. Already, forces from around the planet are flocking to the Dublin valley, which has become the de facto headquarters of Denchulli resistance.
-Denchulli action against the invading Electran forces has only grown more aggressive, even resulting in some suicide bombings against Electran targets by members of what you've termed the IRA. They continue to be inflamed by reports of Electran brutality and burning of villages. Often, it seems, these attacks even come while the menfolk are out, and it is the women, children and elderly who have been among the majority of the victims.
Personal Notes
-One of the main Denchulli advantages against the veteran Electran army is their intimate knowledge of the land. However, even the local Denchulli are scared to venture into the Mirkwood. They claim it is both scary and haunted, which has been more than enough to keep any Denchulli from going there for generations.
-You have little enough trust for the Electran character: however, even you have to admit this situation is out of control. Vanbaal might be a bloodthirsty barbarian, but Kilant ought to know better than to inflame the Denchulli with the brutal attacks on their children and womanfolk. There's some serious blarney going on around here, and you're about to institute a 'No Blarney' policy – guaranteed.
Mini-Objective
-For the love of Mike, stamp out the blarney on Denchul once and for all!
Lord Flash – Officer’s Report 18
Recent Duties: Three days have passed since the death of Special Forces Sniper Captain Khaurus Vanbaal. In that time, news of the vicious sacking of Denchulli villages has spread like wildfire, and the Denchulli people are taking to arms all across the planet to a degree that the peaceful world has never witnessed before. Electra, faced with the death of such a high-ranking officer, is unwilling to back down without a full Denchulli de-militirization, and so rather than subside, the conflict seems likely only to escalate further.
Military Communiques
-These uneducated Denchulli seem to have made the foolish mistake of assuming that Dust and that Darth Vector fellow are in charge of things. Although the latter really does have an amazing understanding of physics, his sad devotion to his ancient religion (namely, one that doesn't involve you) disturbs you. You may have to be showing these Denchullis that there's only one net-force around here, and that force is FLASH!!
Personal Notes
-Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find them. The charming little shepherdess has told you that since her trip with you to Caer Ostreimburg, several of her sheep in her northern flock have mysteriously gone missing. You've promised her that at your new castle, she'll have a flock twice the size, but she's still concerned that the poor lost sheep might be lonely. She's afraid without her to guide them, they may have wandered too close to the Mirkwood, a place the Denchulli regard with much trepidation.
-You have to say, some people have gotten some funny ideas around here. They seem to think that some kind of secret end boss is waiting for the final battle at the end of this campaign. Well, of course he is – but that's because he's YOUR GHOST!! After all, no one else would even stand a chance with you on side. And if anyone pretends otherwise, you'll have to take them out, Flash-Style.
Mini-Objective
-Convince everyone that the Ghost of Lord Flash is really the end boss of this campaign.
-Crash a plane into anyone else posing as the End Boss.
Kabuto – Evangelist's Communion 3
Recent Duties: Three days have passed since the death of that barbarian referred to as Khaurus Vanbaal. In that time, news of the vicious sacking of Denchulli villages has spread like wildfire, and the Denchulli people are taking to arms all across the planet to a degree that the peaceful world has never witnessed before. Knowing the Electrans and their foolish pride, you don't expect them to back down when offered such a threat. It may be up to you to settle this dispute and give the people the peace they deserve.
Troop Status
-Supplies: Spheran Longblades, White steel breastplates, Steel combat helms, Holy Shields, candles and holy incense.
-Morale: Your shield-maidens are almost as horrified as the Denchulli over the Electran slaughter and barbarism, though for somewhat different reasons. Mainly that the Denchulli villagers are not being given a proper service and burial. Truly, only barbarians could act in such a manner.
-Health: Your maidens are sick over the behavior of the uncivilized Electrans, but this is the only health ailment from which they suffer.
Messages from God
-The Gods speak in dreams and whispers, and they tell you that a great evil still lies among you. And day by day, you feel this evil growing ever stronger, and the unholy caranage on this world cannot stop until it has been exorcised. As a humble servant of the Gods, you know it is to you that this task is entrusted.
Personal Notes
-As a priestess of Sphere, you are of course familiar with the culture of your homeworld, and you have heard of this Rodric. He is what they call back on Sphere an 'Omega' – a lord who has lost his house. You believe this happened due to his opposition to Vygrymm the Dragon's leadership of the growing Spheran Coalition. Of course, it is the nature of the kingdoms of man to come and go; there is only one kingdom that reigns eternal. He would do well to remember this.
-Come to think of it, you seem to recall another House opposed to the Coalition as well, but they fled the planet seeking political asylum some time ago. Of course, as a woman of the cloth you don't follow such politics too closely and don't recall any more details on the matter.
Mini-Objective
-Exorcise evil wherever it may be found, and put an end to the Denchulli conflict.
Atobe Keigo – Officer’s Report 42
Recent Duties: It has been five days since the confrontation at the village of Foresta and your departure from Khaurus Vanbaal's Electran column. Since that time, you've investigated a half-dozen scorched villages across the planet, much to the same effect as the first. One thing you have noticed is that many of the villages seemed to contained corpses only of women and children; the attacks must have come while the menfolk were out. Why such non-combattants would be targetted is puzzling to you. You have no love for the Denchulli but you were raised in a soldier's family, and this is no way to wage war. Although attacks can be found all across the planet, they seem most concentrated around an area referred to as the Dublin valley. You've only now just arrived at a town in the northern end of this valley, to find a scene of wreckage much like the others. This one, however, still smolders; the perpetrators cannot be long gone...
Troop Status
-Supplies: FLAME-THROWERS, Steeltek Swords, crimson uniforms, kamikaze headbands, Crimson Armor of the Republic, Pyre and Pyro, and sadly a 4-foot golden buddha that is now in the possession of Phil Ken Sebben.
-Morale: Your boys are a little confused about how you could still be 'serving' Electra despite seemingly running away from your own troops. You have to admit you're a little concerned about this yourself.
-Health: Despite having spent almost a week on Denchul now, you have yet to determine what Denchuli cuisine is. Other than the fact it involves potatoes in some way, and isn't nearly as good as Electran cuisine.
Military Communiques
-None. Unsurprisingly.
Personal Notes
-You don't know what the deal is with these burned villages, but no matter how much the man may continually surprise you, you can't believe this is something Kilant would order. Unfortunately, cut off from your own military brigade and afraid to return, you haven't been able to contact him. That means this mystery is all up to you, and you intend to prove you're up to the task. You'll be damned before you see a Spheran like Rodric have his way with Electra, whatever his plans may be.
Mini-Objective
-Uncover Rodric's plot and save your homeland of Electra once and for all.
With the defeat of Khaurus Vanbaal and the Bloody Ravens, the officers head back to their makeshift camp at Valaria, tired and weary after a day of strife. After spending the night, they having a quick breakfast. Jag seems outraged at Dust after hearing reports about car bombs and other infractions against the Geneva Convention. Dust replies that the IRA is having to make do with what it can, as some of their stocks of weaponry are illegal now under the Denchuli constitution.
The group's discussion is interrupted by an uneasy ally - Rodric, commander of the former Auxilliaries.
The wolf-cloaked man informs them that an Electran force is coming at them in a two-pronged attack, hoping to catch them unawares. The first attack, he tells them, is coming from the west, near the Emerald Hill Zone. A larger contingent is making its way through the forests from the south. After some consultations, it is decided that Rodric and the remains of the Sons of Destiny will guard the Emerald Hill Zone, while the rest, including their new ally Darth Vector, will attack the southern force.
Arriving in the southern forest, the group sends out scouts to investigate the enemy force. The scouts report back soon after, telling them that the entire contingent seems to have stopped for a tea-break. Seizing their chance, they take up position, and ambush the Electran force led by Lord Brindon.
The fighting is fierce, with Lumbar Jack's Lumberjacks sawing away at Ultra-Magnus' autobots, while Pacci focuses on shooting Cetina's Rose Legion "IN THE FACE!", and Jag and Dust alternate their attacks between thundersabre-wielding Crusaders and The Parrot's Revenge, the latter of which seems to focus exclusively on The Boyo Scouts. Kabuto's Shieldmaidens attack both the Colonel, and Lt. Horowitz's machine-gunners. Meanwhile, perched on a hill, Lord Vector's Stormtroopers fire their blaster rifles at any unit in sight, while the car-bombing IRA let loose on anyone they can. And of course, flying "dangerously high" at an altitude of about thirty feet, Lord Flash's Defiant lets loose a hail of fire on anyone in sight.
The battle rages, with the Electrans seeming to gain the upper-hand as a number of platoons of the break-away faction break under the intense pressure. However, just as things begin to look grim, a drop-ship lands in the center of the battlefield. Roaring out are Deksiilan blue-berets, led by Axen Dredd; and the wetsuit-wearing shocktroops of the Spheran House of Flounder.
With the aid of these new and elite forces, the defenders of Denchul rally, and gain the upper hand. Scattering the invading forces, the heroes see three of their foes flee into Lumbar Jack's cabin: Lt. Phil, the Red Baron, and Cetina. The group sneaks up to the cabin, with Dust climbing to the roof and sneaking down the chimney, while the others, finding the door barred, break a window and enter that way. Inside, they indeed find Phil and Cetina, along with the nemesis Jag had been tracking for some time - the armoured Electran known to them only as "Baldwin".
Phil, insane with rage that Dust started selling fried parrot under the banner of the Fredo Foundation, attacks the Denchuli, and the battle begins. Dust and Jag, newly equipped with Vanbaal's PK-97 Reapers and Zirlithium bullets, open fire on Baldwin, as do the others. Indeed, Phil and Cetina seem largely ignored, except for Pacci, who is more than happy to attack Cetina. But as she collapses under a barrage of fruit, Baldwin offers her a piece of his own. Taking the fruit of the underworld, she eats the red fruit, and begins to burn with unlife.
But soon after, she collapses, her strength sapped by the undead force. The officers continue their assault: Kabuto fires psi-spears at Baldwin, while Lord Flash decks the Red Baron with a pistol punch, and Dust is more concerned with simply avoiding the attacks of an enraged Lt. Phil. Then, charging into the room is an enraged Kal Meecham, who madly attacks anyone wearing any hint of green, declaring them "alien invaders!" Dust is hit first, then Pacci. The former, his strength sapped, throws a dust bomb and disappears.
Eventually, Phil and Kal are both dropped. Jag looks quite hurt, having weathered a barrage of Art and Psi from the skilled Baldwin, but manages to stay up. Finally, the Electran is taken down. Jag seems eager to interrogate him, and gets his chance. Baldwin tells them that he was paid to stir up dissent, and that this is not illegal. Dust and Jag object, pointing out the new sedition laws in the mason-scribed Denchuli constitution. When asked how much was paid, Baldwin tells him that for his part, he was paid 50,000 marques.
The group is suspicious; for Dust, the high payment is indicative that someone of Kilant's stature must be behind Baldwin's work. But without any further proof, the group heads back to the camp.
The enemy is a small contingent they recognize only too well: Seigaku, under the leadership of Atobe Keigo. After realizing that they can contact her on her cell phone, the group calls her, and arranges a neutral meeting on a hillside, in full view of both sides. The meeting is awkward, made more so when Keigo meets their new Spheran companion, Kabuto. The former seems enraged that they would place any trust in Spherans after the Spheran invasion, and Zeke's betrayal. Jag then breaks to her that Zeke was travelling with Kabuto, and in fact was now a converted member of her church. Keigo's jaw drops.
Talking to Keigo, the group finds that she is most interested in any "allies" they may have picked up along the way, and is quick to deny and involvement in the burning of the Denchuli settlements. She tells them that several bodies were found with bullet wounds from some sort of rifle, and produces a spent cartridge as proof. Dust heads off to verify her claim, and indeed finds bullet holes and spent brass throughout the village. Conferring with the rest of the officers, they find it extremely unlikely that Seigaku would use such weaponry, preferring their gas-powered flamethrowers.
When the group finally tells her of their alliance with Rodric, Keigo seems both extremely interested, and wary. Eventually, she agrees to return with them. Jag insists that both she and her unit remain unarmed, but is willing to plea bargain that down to simply de-arming Seigaku. And with that, the young Electran returns to the fold, silent upon meeting Rodric on the opposite side of the river.
The group returns to Valaria, the original officers of the Republic back together save for Lt. Reno, who is likely still on coffee break on Electra, and Zeke, who is likely off betraying someone. But shortly after, Dust leaves, declaring that something still feels unsettling, and that he'll return in the morning. Jag retires to Old Bailey's, Pacci to wherever he can find the most food, Kabuto to her makeshift church, and Flash to his new manor. Seigaku also retires to Old Bailey's, but at the group's insistence, they are kept in the makeshift jail housing the nefarious Dr. Wily.
Deeper in the forest, he finds that he has company: Kabuto flies quietly above the ground, making her way deeper. Dust follows, and the two soon find an interesting sight indeed: a group of dishevelled, disorderly drunks, gulping bottle after bottle of beer. After a short while, they check their watches, and start packing up a number of rifles and shotguns. Once they leave to the south-east, Dust and Kabuto radio back to Valaria, and request reinforcements - the destroyers of Limerick, they tell them, have been found.
The two follow at a distance, and upon arriving at the outskirts of Blackrock Grotto, find an even more interesting sight: the group of drunken soldiers groups up with a number of black-haired troops wearing wolf-skins. The Bottleknockers are in league with Rodric's brood. Radioing back this information, the two follow at a distance. Once they arrive halfway to a small forest, they get a transmission from Jag and the others asking them to delay the group. Dust stays behind the force, while Kabuto silently flies to the side, and the two simulataneously release a hail of bullets and psychic energy. Not expecting any sort of attack, the force falls into disarray, giving enough time for the military force from Valaria to arrive.
The Shieldmaidens and Seigaku charge up, ready to engage the Horde in melee combat. Jag, accompanied by Megalodon, arrives on Jet-Skis, and the two focus on the Avalanche, led by the Evil Baron Waldorf, and the Ukraine, led by Yuri. Meanwhile, Pacci makes his way through the swamp, while the Boyo Scouts start desperately firing their Phantom rifles on the group of Wumpuses (Wumpi?) bearing down on them.
Slowly but surely, Rodrick's force is whittled down, cut by Steelteks and Spheran long blades, and burnt by psychics and flamethrowers. On the opposing side, the Boyos run for dear life from the melee unit bearing down on them. Jag introduces the Ukraine and the Avalanche to his Schmitzers, while Megalodon attacks anything within range, including the Boyo Scout/Wumpus stack, at times scoring three meals for the price of one. In the end, the Horde is decimated, and the rest of the enemy units are scattered, leaving only one man: Rodric Omega.
First, Jag ensures that all the officers sign over power of attorney to him. Quickly thereafter, Rodric summons a storm of chain lightning. The bolt first strikes Dust, who is rendered near-dead by the intensity of the blast. It then arcs to Brock, who is also rendered unconscious, then to Keigo, whose tennis experience apparently includes dodging chain lightning.
The officers then attack, with Pacci hurling fruit, and Kabuto loosing a psychic spear. Keigo moves over to Dust, and revives him with a handful of Phoenix Down.
In the ensuing combat, Dust throws a dust bomb at his feet and disappears, while the rest continue their assault on the Spheran warlord. After Rodrick's next attack, Pacci, seeing so many injured officers, starts to spin about, and the sparkling spin seems to have a great effect on the wounded. Meanwhile, Jag, Kabuto, and Keigo all continue to pummel the Spheran.
Suddenly, there is a loud noise from the sky: Flash's Defiant fighter-jet, bearing down on Rodrick. Unable to fathom Flash's mindset, Rodric merely stands still as the plane crashes into him at full speed, dealing grievous amounts of damage, and knocking him off his feet. But the big man proves more than resilient. Summoning a lightning shield, Pacci comes down from a huge leap only to be hit by one of the lightning bursts, and falls unconsious. Rodrick then becomes enraged with bloodlust, and knocks out Jag and Keigo. Shortly thereafter, Flash emerges from a corner of the canyon, having outfitted his plane with an ejector-seat: declaring himself not quite ready to be a martyr, he smacks Rodrick full-on with a pistol punch. However, this attack merely diverts Rodrick's attention to him, and Lord Flash quickly falls to Rodrick's onslaught. Meanwhile, Kabuto finds herself low on psychic energy, but is still able to create chasms in the earth which Rodrick, low on faith, is unable to cross. But the third time is the charm: Rodrick makes the leap of faith across the chasm, and knocks out Kabuto.
But at that moment, after having been quiet for so long, Dust lets loose a single shot from his Phanton. It tears into Rodrick, causing him to stagger back. After Rodric dispatches all but Dust, the Denchuli finds himself in the awkward scenario of staring down the huge Spheran, in plain view, with no allies to come to his aid. Acting quickly, he throws a dust bomb at Rodric's feet, and is relieved to find that the Spheran is unable to find him. Firing one last shot, the sniper hits Rodrick full in the chest, and sends him toppling to the ground: the final threat has been eliminated.
Ultra Magnus
Race: Electran
Rank: Major, and Leader of the Autobots
Affiliation: Electran Special Forces
Ultra Magnus was the Electran officer promoted to replace Major Khaurus Vanbaal after the latter's death. How he could accomplish this feat despite having been absent from every single important battle thus far in the campaign is a mystery. He proceeded to get his squadron of Autobots wiped out by enemy firearms at an incredible rate. The most intelligent statement Magnus ever made was that he wasn't worthy of benig a leader. Truer words had never been said.
Captain Highliner
Race: Spheran
Rank: Warlord
Affiliation: Spheran Exiles, the House of Flounder
After much speculation about the existence of the passive, fish-worshipping Spherans of the House of Flounders, they finally make their appearance in the campaign's very last adventure. Their leader was not a man to disapoint the high expectations for his house - Captain Highliner, a salty sea-dog with a white beard and blue captain's hat with an anchor on it. Following Vygrymm's formation of the Spheran Coalition, the Flounders had fled the planet and were being hosted in exile on Deksiil by Justice Axen Dredd. Highliner would usually be quick to point out his own handsomeness, though the truth of this matter seemed to be in high debate, much to the Captain's disbelief.