Whoa Nellie's Picard/Vash Romance Fan Fiction website is at:
http://geocities.datacellar.net/TimesSquare/Galaxy/7926/

The Story of Whoa Nellie -- Recipient of the 2004 ASC award for Best TNG Author

 As Whoa Nellie, my co-author and I are the only Picard / Vash writers who post on Alt.Startrek.Creative.  (That I know of anyway.)  Why write TNG fanfiction?  Why the pen-name Whoa Nellie?  Why pair Picard and Vash?  To understand the answers to these questions you have to go back to when we first started writing fanfiction.

 My co-author and I had just graduated from a major university.  We were psychology majors, who both worked in a research laboratory.   We had also spent the last few years in a good number of literature courses reading  works by the likes of Chaucer, Dickens, Flaubert, Hemingway and of course a good deal of Billy Shakespeare.  We wanted some summer reading that was a little lighter.  My co-author picked up a large box of historical romance novels, a.k.a. 'Bodice-Rippers,' for a dime at a garage sale.  After reading half of them, we decided we could do it better.  Since the both of us, as well as most of our friends, were Star Trek fans, we also decided that the world had to have a Star Trek bodice-ripper.  Understand that this was the dark time - before we had internet access.  One afternoon on the way home from an antique sale, I sketched out a story idea to her and she added some ideas to it.  When we arrived at my home, she turned on my computer, sat me down and said, "Now, write it!"  Lesson number one: Never leave two women with that much education alone with good chocolate and a computer.

 Whoa Nellie is a writing team, a creative half [myself] and a co-author who acts as an editor.  My co-author is like my own personal BASF company, she takes my ideas and makes them better!  I can't tell you how many times I've reread a scene she has edited and crowed - "That's it! That's what I meant!"  She makes sure I keep in character and that I follow the laws of common sense (not to mention the laws of physics)- meaning all humans have only two hands - especially in sex scenes - all positions are at least theoretically possible if at least one of them is double-jointed, and that Picard doesn't push Vash up against a wall in the throes of passion when they are plainly standing in the middle of a room.  (Yes, I actually did that in the first draft of  "Double Entendre.")  She sees to it that I spell things correctly and that don't screw up my homonyms - especially your and you're.  Damn homonyms, I really hate those pesky Devils!  As we began writing our first work, 'Double Entendre,' when either of us went too far (usually me) the other one would call out "Whoa Nellie!" while hitting the delete key.  This practice stuck.  When we decide to post our stories to the internet 'Whoa Nellie' was a natural choice for us as a pen-name.

 Why write about Picard and Vash?  Like many female TNG fans, I am totally enamored with the Picard character.  We chose Archaeology Councilmember Vash as our leading lady for a number of reasons.  First, we loved the character.  We saw the character as a resourceful woman with a vivacious personality, a razor wit, and a keen intellect.  Of course, her brilliance is matched only by her brazen recklessness.  In the episodes where she appears, this beautiful brunette, with her beguiling smile and blue eyes, manages to charm not only the good captain of the Enterprise but the omnipotent Q as well.  The character of Vash is just plain fun to write!
 
 Second, we felt Vash and Picard held a great many common interests.  Like Picard, Vash is an explorer with an expertise in archaeology.  She is an adventurer, a female Indiana Jones.  She would be able to handle the dangers faced by anyone sharing a starship captain's life.  However, she is not a Starfleet officer.  This gives us a great deal of leeway in our stories.   She is the perfect foil for Picard's straight man.  As a couple, they are Bogart and Bacall with a touch of George and Gracie added in.

 Third, in canon, Vash, not Beverly Crusher, was Picard's main love interest.  Ira Steven Behr created Vash's character in response to Patrick Stewart's request for more "sex and shooting" for Picard.  Around the fourth season, Michael Piller inquired about marrying Picard to Vash to provide some new story dynamics.  The studio executives killed the idea of marrying off the captain.  The shipboard marriage idea survived in the fourth season TNG episode "Data's Day" where Miles O'Brien married Keiko Ishikawa.  We decided to go where Paramount wouldn't and put Picard and Vash together permanently.

 We finally got internet access and I very quickly found A.S.C.  You can imagine my chagrin as I began to discover the way the character of Vash was being portrayed by a number of authors.  My husband suggested that I post our stories.  Looking at him as if he had grown a second head,  I countered in terror, "Are you crazy?  Not only did we not pair Picard with Beverly - the favored pairing!  But we paired him with Vash!  Look at the way they portray Vash.  They hate her!  They'll flame us!  They will roast us alive!"  In a calming baritone, my husband soothed, "Post good fanfic and they will read it, piccolo angelo."  Piccolo angelo is 'little angel' in Italian, my husband's favored endearment for me.  He is not French.  However, my husband is one quarter Italian.  He helped me post our stories.  He has always treated my writing as something important, just as important as anything he does.  And for the first few weeks he checked my e-mail every morning before he left for work, bringing me any 'fan-mail,' as he called it.  As usual, he was right.  We began to get feedback, marvelously supportive feedback.  I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to write to me about our stories.  I print out every e-mail I receive and keep them in a huge folder I've dubbed my 'warm fuzzies' collection.  It is a sure-fire cure for writer's block.  Below, I have included a small sample of the feedback comments we have received.

 As far as choosing to stay with the Picard/Vash pairing, my-coauthor and I feel the words of Robert Frost say it best:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."
 

Warmest regards,
Whoa Nellie

.............................................................

Selections from the Warm Fuzzies Collection-

From Jo--

I've been a lurker on this group for quite a while and I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your terrific Picard/Vash stories!  I love them!!! You captured the sexy, playful nature of the relationship that was established in "Captain's Holiday" and you took it to the next level. You turned the "staid and stoic" Captain into a romantic, sexy, loving husband and you did it in a way that was totally believable. You stayed true to the character ... you didn't change his personality, you simply allowed him to grow. (You created the man I always imagined him to be.) And you did the same with Vash ... allowed her to grow up a bit and accept her responsibilities as the "friendly, approachable face of command," while maintaining her playful naughtiness and wonderful sense of humor. You even captured the personalities of the rest of the Enterprise crew. I have never found myself saying, "Oh no ... he/she would NEVER do that!" Not even once. :-)

Your stories are always well-written and exciting. I get caught up in them every time! I know you consider a few of them to be PWP's, but even those have more depth than the usual PWP stories simply because you write them "in character" and the lovemaking itself becomes the story.  Also, the PWP stories are connected to your other stories, and together, they further the relationship.  What I mean is, while a story like "Femme Fatale" is technically a PWP, there is a lot more to it than just the sex. The actions and dialog of the two characters reveal their deep love, passion and respect for each other. We learned something about Vash's past. So did Picard . . . and not only was he understanding, he was impressed! That says quite a lot about the character. ;-)

Vash's past comes into play again in "The Goose and The Gander." I saw your post a while ago where you said "'Goose and Gander' has to be in the running for the longest PWP ever written." Once again, I don't consider that story to be a typical PWP. True, the Enterprise isn't in jeopardy and the Romulans aren't attacking, but that doesn't mean there isn't a plot. I think this story is an adorable look at the *personal* relationships of Picard & Vash and Picard, Vash & the Enterprise crew. It's a lot of fun! I can picture every character doing the things you wrote. Like I said earlier, you've captured the personalities completely. I loved your most recent story, "In The Line Of Duty." Lots of action, terrific plot twists, great sex and the epilogue, "Wonders of Nature" was hysterical! (OK, Wonders of Nature *is* a true PWP... but I loved it!) <G> Some of my other favorites are "Reasons of the Heart," "Double Entendre," "Tour de Force" ... oh heck, who am I kidding ... I loved them all, LOL!

Sorry for rambling on and on, but I've been wanting to comment on your work for a while. Thanks for sharing your stories. I look forward to the next one.

:-) Jo
 

From Orlando talking about 'Here There Be Q-nicorns'

I wish that I could come up with premises as novel and entertaining and enjoyable as this one. They say the simple things work the best, and it's true. Here Picard wonders idly what it would have been like to have been his wife's first lover, and behold, the scenario comes to pass courtesy of the eavesdropping Q. It is, of course, an excuse for Whoa Nellie to do what she does best: entertain her reader with a wonderful costume drama romp. I love "Here There Be Q-nicorns" because it shamelessly and enthusiastically does what Whoa Nellie does best: dresses her characters up in disguises and costumes too numerous to mention, from the opening scene in which Vash is described in her pink babydoll, to Picard's boots, doublet and hose. Whoa Nellie has a delight for dressing up her characters and she does it so well, it's never boring or repetitive, it's always new and interesting and delightful. Two things I admired about this story: firstly that when Vash becomes a virgin again, she's still full of strength of character, self-determination and self-reliance. It would have been so easy to turn her into a sniveling girl, and Nellie didn't do that. The second thing I admire about "Here There Be Q-nicorns", is something that I appreciate in all of Nellie's stories and that's the sex: it's hot and steamy and passionate and exuberant and erotic, but it's never prurient or unseemly. That isn't a moral opinion on sex scenes and smut in general, it's just an appreciation for Whoa Nellie's brand of bonking. I enjoyed this exciting romp and I adored the wonderful, erotic denouement.

Orlando
 

From Lori about 'Here There Be Q-nicorns'

This was a great romp. Vash a virgin? Ha! Only when Q takes over. At least he gave Jean-Luc a decent horse, and left all the other officers behind to give the happy couple some privacy... another creative wander through the world of whoa nellie, done with the same panache as all her others.

Lori
 

From Cavalaxis about 'Reasons of the Heart'
 

Magnifique.  Delightful, delicious.  I must say this is some of your best writing to date.

Cavalaxis
 
 

From Orlando about 'Reasons of the Heart'

I don't usually have problems keeping canon and fanon straight in my head, but sometimes, an author's own take on events, the universe they create for those events and the relationships and histories within it, ring so true to me that it can be a wrench to be reminded that fanon isn't, in fact, canon. That's the case I find with Whoa Nellie's stories: I enjoy her depiction of the Enterprise and its crew, their relationships, personalities and adventures to much that, sometimes, I want it to be canon. So, in an ingenious twist of wish-fulfillment, Whoa Nellie introduces "our", on-screen Picard to Whoa Nellie's universe, in which Captain Picard is married to Vash. I never really paid much attention to the character of Vash before I began reading Whoa Nellie's fiction, but the author's affection for the character is infectious. Infectious also is Whoa Nellie's love of the Picard/Vash relationship, and now I must say that I'm a total convert! Other mentions in "Reasons of the Heart": I was impressed by the way Whoa Nellie introduced the concept of "sum over histories" to her reader, using Data as the method of exposition, but, where this exposition could have been labored, Nellie has one eye to the reader and cleverly disguises the explanation as a lesson in social skills for Data. I was also impressed by the speed and with what lack of preamble "our" Picard's Enterprise and the alternative Picard's Enterprises came together. Other mentions, of course, are Whoa Nellie's sparkling dialogue, Riker to Deanna, "Maybe somewhere out there you let me keep my beard"; the relationship between captain and first officer in which both men are enjoying the respective derrieres of their respective SOs; and, of course the wonderful hot, hot sex. Bravo.

Orlando
 

From Lori about 'Goose and Gander'

Just read this for the first time -- I love being a relative newbie! Nothing like a bachelor party where the bride shows up as one of the nearly-indecent dancing girls, especially when she's Vash. Too cool! Love it when Riker gets "got."

Lori