A CONFUSION IN GENDER


     Robotnik grinned evilly as he watched workerbots complete his
 latest weapon: a much faster, movable roboticizer.  It would be much 
more successful in roboticizing Freedom Fighters-but the main reason 
he designed it was because of Sonic the Hedgehog.  At the thought of 
that name Robotnik grimaced, his red eyes narrowing.  "That accursed 
hedgehog!" he muttered aloud, "If this doesn't get him nothing will."  
That thought comforted the mad scientist somewhat as he sat back and 
watched the badniks work away.  Soon, he smiled to himself, soon you
 will finally meet your end, hedgehog.

     Sonic paced impatiently back and forth in front of the ring pool, 
waiting for the next power ring to show up.  He had walked over 
the same area of grass so many times that it was beginning to wear 
down.  "Come on, ya slow puddle of water," he grumbled, "Give 
me the stupid ring!"
     " Hi, Sonic."  The hedgehog turned to see Sally walking up to him.  
His frustration lightened somewhat and Sonic smiled at her.  
     "Hey Sal," he greeted, "Just waitin' for the ol' ring to come."
     "Well, it better hurry, because I'm about to send you to Robotropolis 
to get a message from Sir Charles," Sally answered, "he says Robotnik's
 up to something, and he has a code for Nicole to translate.  It's quite a 
complicated one, so I've heard, and I need it as soon as possible."
     Before Sonic could reply, the ring pool began bubbling and a golden
 ring appeared.  Grabbing it and thrusting it into his worn brown 
backpack, Sonic flashed Sally a grin and revved up his legs.  "Fear not, Sal,
 you'll get that code from Uncle Chuck in a Sonic-second!"  Without 
another word, the hedgehog sped off, leaving Sally to cling to a tree to 
keep from being blown off.

      The air in Robotropolis irritated Sonic's nose as he carefully picked 
his way across the piles of debris that littered the city.  "Man, ol' Buttnik 
needs to give his home a lil' fixxer-up," the hedgehog mumbled under his 
breath as he headed for Uncle Chuck's hideout.  Reaching the disguised 
doorway, Sonic looked around for SWATbots before quickly opening it 
slightly and rushing in.
      "Yo Unc, Sal told me ya had something to give her."
      The older hedgehog turned from his work and gave Sonic a brief smile. 
 "Hello, Sonic.  Give this to Sally and see if she can figure out the code." 
 He handed the hedgehog a small diskette, which Sonic stuffed safely into
 his backpack.  
      "I guess I'll be headin' back now," Sonic replied, "It's almost time for 
your work shift.  Take care, Unc."
      "You too, Sonic."  Uncle Chuck watched as Sonic gave him a quick
 thumbs-up and left the hideout.
     
      Snively was falling asleep at the control panels.  He had been ordered 
to keep a close watch over the city for any sign of the hedgehog, and it
 had been hours...but no Sonic.  He yawned, glaring sleepily at the screens 
before him, and was about to doze off again when one of the screens 
showed a blue streak zoom by.  
      Jolted awake by the sudden scene, Snively began punching
 in commands as he yelled out, "Sir, sir, the hedgehog has been 
sighted at the city's scrap metal yard!"  Immediately Robotnik 
came running in.
      "Well don't just sit there, addlebrain!" he snapped, "I want all
 SWATbots to report there right now!  We must lure him into the
 new roboticizer's chamber!"
      "Yes, Sir," replied Snively, then grumbled under his breath,
 "You fat old goat."
      "What was that, Snively?"
      "Uh, I said, uh, I can't wait to fry that blue coat, sir."

      Sonic paused in his footsteps as his eye caught sight of a broken
 down chili dog machine.  Licking his lips, he turned around and 
came to a stop in front of it.  Giving the machine a punch, the hedgehog 
grinned, "All right, right on time for my afternoon snack!"
      Just when Sonic was about to enjoy his chili dog, a bright light
 beamed down on him as the voice of a SWATbot rang out.  
"Surrender, hedgehog, you are surrounded," ordered the leader 
of the group, "Priority 1, all units attack."
      Rolling his eyes, Sonic just raced out under them as they
 came on in hot pursuit.  "Aw man!  Those metalheads never 
give up, do they?"
      Zigzagging back and forth through Robotropolis, Sonic 
was giving the SWATbots a hard target to hit.  Laser beams 
slammed past him everywhere as he easily outran them.  
Suddenly, a huge fresh swarm of hover units appeared in front 
of the hedgehog.  Slamming on his brakes, Sonic sped off in 
another direction, clearly surprised that so many were after 
him this time.
      The SWATbots forced Sonic to retreat into a corner of 
Robotropolis's main headquarters.  Panting slightly, the
 hedgehog looked about him frantically as badniks closed in 
from three sides.  Seeing his only chance of escape, Sonic 
ducked a few units and zoomed into a door, shutting it hard 
behind him and locking it.
      At first it was all dark inside.  Sonic squinted, trying to 
see where he was, and as his eyes adjusted to the dimness, he 
could make out a rather large, still machine in front of him.  
Walking over cautiously, Sonic glared at it.  "Whoa," he breathed, 
"this must be what ol' Buttnik's up to."
      All of a sudden a blinding light came on and Sonic covered 
his eyes.  A familiar voice reached his ears.  "Well, hedgehog, 
fancy you dropping by and spying on my newest creation."
      Sonic opened his eyes again and saw Robotnik and Snively 
standing next to the big machine.  He narrowed his eyes and 
got ready to run.  "Nice lil' gadget ya got there, tubbo, but 
it's too bad I gotta get juicin'.  Some other time!"
      Robotnik only smiled and turned on the roboticizer.  It 
beeped to life, and immediately focused on the hedgehog.  
"Organic life form, must destroy." it said in a lifeless tone, 
and began to shoot at Sonic.  
      "Crud, what kinda thing is this?!" Sonic muttered as he 
dodged the fires, which came surprisingly fast and accurate.  
Speeding around the room, the hedgehog tried to throw it 
off course, but the machine tracked him with deadly speed,
 firing the whole time.
      Robotnik and Snively were so into the struggle that no 
one noticed a part of the roboticizer fall to the floor and roll 
off.  As Sonic tired, the machine managed to trap him in a 
corner.  Sonic tried in vain to dodge the lasers, but his strength 
was slowly going and one laser finally managed to shoot him. 
 The hedgehog was engulfed in a flash of energy.
      "Yes!  The hedgehog is finally mine!" Robotnik cried out, 
running over to see his triumphant result.  Reaching the spot, 
the mad scientist halted abruptly and looked down with shock.  
Before him was a slender, beautiful girl hedgehog, still crouching 
with eyes shut.
      "No..."Robotnik gasped, "Say it isn't so!"
      "Oh my!" Snively stuttered.
      Slowly, Sonic opened his eyes and looked up at the two 
figures standing aghast.  " What're you two lookin' at?" he 
snapped, then shut his mouth with horror at the high, girlish 
voice that came from his throat.  He glanced down at his body, 
and his eyes almost popped out of his sockets.
      "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!"  Sonic 
let out a shrill scream and zoomed off, so terrified at his new 
"gender" that he ran through the wall and disappeared from view.
      "I don't believe this!" Robotnik whispered, looking at his 
machine, "The roboticizer changed the rodent into a girl!"

      Sonic ran and ran, the sheer terror of what he, uh, she had been 
transformed into shocking her mind.  "That son of a @#$%!" she 
yelled, racing along with furious speed, "He turned me into a GIRL!"  
Slowly, panic began to leave her brain and she slowed down a bit, 
trying to consider her position.
      "Hmm," Sonic thought hard, "There's NO way I'm goin' back 
to Knothole lookin' like this...Sally'll die of laughter an' Tails will 
never look at me the same way again-but there's no way I'm goin' 
back ta Robotropolis like this without help!  Man, this sucks major 
big time."  Leaning against a tree by the edge of the Great Forest to 
catch his breath, Sonic tried to think of what to do.
      After almost an hour of considering her options, Sonic finally 
realized who the only creature she could go to for help was.  "Aw 
man," she muttered to herself, "It just had ta be narrowed down to 
HIM?!"  Sonic cradled her head in her hands, aware of the embarrassment 
she would have to face.  "Heck, there's no other way unless I'm 
goin' back to Robotropolis by myself..." Sonic finally got up and 
headed in the direction of the Floating Island.  "...aw man...."

      Knuckles lay in a comfortable makeshift hammock, sipping a 
glass of coconut juice and gazing sleepily up at the frame of green 
jungle above him.  It was his day off, Mighty and the other Chaotix 
were off protecting the Chaos Emeralds, and there was nothing to 
ruin his satisfaction.  The red echidna stretched, enjoying the peaceful 
day and smiling to himself.
      Just as Knuckles was about to dose off, he heard a faint rustling 
in the bushes behind him.  His back fur slowly bristling with the sense 
of warning, Knuckles quietly got off the hammock and snuck over to 
where the sound came from.  Tensing himself, waiting for another 
sound to tell him where the creature was, he waited.  
      Another movement in the bushes to his right caught Knuckles's 
attention.  Bracing himself to spring, the echidna tensed and leaped.  
He landed on a creature, who immediately squealed and punched him 
under the jaw.  Blind with fury, Knuckles fought with the intruder as 
they rolled back and forth through the underbrush.
      After a rather brief struggle, Knuckles finally managed to pin 
down the creature and got his first good look at his opponent.  It was 
a slender young hedgehog, shaded blue and rather pretty.  Blushing 
with embarrassment at the thought that he had just tackled a lady, 
Knuckles slowly got off and helped her to her feet.  
      "Sorry, miss, I thought you were something else..."Knuckles 
muttered, then smiled at her, "So, what are you doing here on the 
Floating Island?"
      The young hedgehog did not smile at him, but grimaced instead 
and snapped, "Shut your trap, guardian, we need ta talk-in private!"  
Grabbing the scruff of Knuckles's neck, she dragged him off to a 
quiet clearing.  
      "Gosh, I didn't know I offended her so badly," the echidna thought 
nervously to himself, surprised at how strong she was for a girl.  The 
hedgehog plopped him down and sat in front of him, still grimacing 
and starting to turn red.
      "Um, I'm sorry if I hurt you back there, it was an accident," Knuckles 
stammered, too jittery to look in her eyes.
      "Did you hear me?!  I said shut your trap, guardian, we need ta TALK!"
 the hedgehog shouted, then cleared her throat.  "Actually, ya know 
me pretty well...just not in the same...way.  Anyway, I was in Robotropolis 
carryin' out a mission for the Freedom Fighters, an' Robotnik turned me 
into this...girl thing."
      Knuckles scratched his head, confused.  "Huh?"
      The hedgehog looked straight at his face, and said, "I'm Sonic the 
Hedgehog.  Robuttnik got this ol' device thing an' he shot it at me, turning 
me into a girl!  I came here cuz there's no way I'm goin' back to Knothole 
for help, an' you were the only option left."
      Knuckles blinked twice at the girl hedgehog, then suddenly saw 
the resemblance to Sonic.  His eyes opened wide and the echidna burst 
out laughing.
      "Robotnik did WHAT?!  Hoo boy, he should've thought of that 
one sooner----BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
Knuckles rolled around on the ground, laughing until tears came to his eyes.
      "Hey, shut up!" Sonic snapped angrily, glaring at the clearly humored
 guardian, "You'd be embarrassed too if it happened ta you!"
      Knuckles staggered up and walked over to Sonic, still laughing his 
head off.  He put his arms around Sonic and laughed, "Oh, such a pretty 
young maiden---BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!  Would you like some 
tea and company? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
      Sonic slapped Knuckles clear across his face and screamed, "YOU
 PERVERT, CALM DOWN AN' HELP ME!!!"
      After almost a full hour, Knuckles finally stopped laughing and 
managed to sit down to listen to Sonic without smirking.  By now Sonic 
had explained her whole situation to Knuckles and was trying to persuade
 him to help her.
      "Aw c'mon!" Sonic pleaded with a still humored Knuckles, 
"I want my manhood back! There is NO way I'm gonna stay a 
gal for the rest of my life!"
      "An' why should I help YOU?" the echidna smirked, "We've 
never been on even terms, so what makes ya think I'll help ya now?"
      Sonic was almost on the verge of tears.  "Please, Knux!  I'll-I'll-I'll 
do anything ya want!"
      Knuckles raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Anything?"
      "Anything!"
      The guardian smiled slyly and sat down to think of a good favor.  
"Hmm...anything...grapes? Nah, I can get that whenever I wanna...a kiss 
from the princess? Nah, 'taint worth it...hmm..."  Slowly Knuckles's
 face broke into a grin.   Turning back to Sonic, he offered his bargain.
      "Tell ya what, girlfriend," Knuckles teased, "I'll help ya get your 
ol' manhood back....but after you DO get it back, we're goin' to 
Knothole Village an' you're gonna tell the whole place about this...oh 
yeah, an' I get a kiss from Princess Sally."
      "WHAT?!" Sonic's scream was so shrill Knuckles winced.  
"You mean you're gonna make me relate this crazy tale ta ALL of 
Knothole?! Do ya realize what this'll do to my reputation?! An' a 
KISS FROM SAL?! Forget it, goldilocks!"
      Knuckles just shrugged.  "Fine, suit yourself, if ya wanna stay a 
girl for the rest of your life."
      For a moment Sonic's stubborn nature held out, but after a few 
tense moments she just came crawling back.  "Okay, okay, fine..." 
she muttered, "You'll get what ya asked for."
      "How good is your word?"
      "As good as yours."
      Knuckles smiled and shook Sonic's hand firmly.  "Deal!"

      The Floating Island guardian couldn't help but laugh softly to
 himself as he sneaked around Robotropolis with Sonic at his back.  
A girl!  This was something he had never imagined could happen. 
Knuckles laughed harder at the thought of Sonic being female until 
he broke into chuckles.
      Sonic pouted and knocked him hard between the ears.  "Shut up! 
 Do ya want all of Robotropolis ta hear ya?!"  She frowned at Knuckles's 
amused face.  The echidna just laughed once more and continued on
 to Robotnik's headquarters.
      After fifteen minutes the two reached the main doors.  Hiding 
behind a giant pile of spare metal, they watched the two sentries.  
Sonic was the first to speak.
      "Tell ya what, I'll go distract 'em an' you can sneak in."
      Knuckles nodded.  "Sure thing, you'll definitely distract them 
with that bod o' yours."
      *Swack!*
      "Okay, okay, I wuz just kiddin', sheesh!"

      "Snively, have you gotten that darn contraption fixed yet?" 
      Robotnik's impatient roar made Snively jump and bump his head 
on top of the robotisizer, of which he was still trying to figure out what 
went wrong.  Muttering curses to himself, the little man called back, 
"There's an important missing part, sire!  It might've fallen off while it 
was firing at the hedgehog...I might have to re-program it so that it can 
keep up with Sonic."
      Suddenly, the doors to the chamber burst open and in rushed 
Sonic and Knuckles.  Taken completely by surprise, Robotnik 
and Snively could only stand and gape.  Sonic just smiled...for 
the first time that day.
      "What's the matter, tubbo, can't stand the sight of a pretty girl?"
      Robotnik shook his head to clear it and began barking out orders. 
 "SWATBOTS! BADNIKS! INTRUDERS IN THE EAST CHAMBER!!!" 
Knuckles just laughed and headed towards Snively and the roboticizer.
      "Distract the badniks while I try fixin' this baby up!" the red guardian 
called out to Sonic, who nodded and led off the first few SWATbots
that were arriving.  Snively gulped at the advancing echidna as he 
slowly backed up.
      Suddenly, Knuckles sprang forward, hoping to catch Snively off 
guard and take control of the machine.  Snively gave a yelp and fell 
backwards, pressing the "Start" button on the roboticizer in the process.  
A blinding golden beam shot from the machine and engulfed Knuckles 
in its glare.  Sonic paused for a moment as she saw the scene.
      As the light faded away, Knuckles blinked unbelievingly at his new 
body.  He had just been transformed into a female echidna.  "WHAT
 THE @#$%?!" he, uh, she screamed.  Despite the oncoming SWATbots, 
Sonic stopped fighting and burst out laughing.  Knuckles turned her 
fiery eyes onto the hedgehog and punched him clear across the room, 
where Sonic smashed into Robotnik and both fell to the floor.
      The roboticizer wasn't done yet.  Locating Sonic, it beeped: "Organic 
lifeform, must destroy."  Before either Sonic or Robotnik could 
move, the machine fired its laser again.  
      The first thing that could be heard was Robotnik's horrified screech. 
 "WHAT HAS THAT @#$% MACHINE DONE TO MY BODY?!"  
Sonic opened his eyes to see a fat, orange-haired lady running around 
in circles and panicking.  It was too much for the hedgehog.  He fell on 
the floor, rolling around and laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
      Knuckles ran over to Sonic and shook him hard.  "Sonic!" she 
snapped, her eyes tense, "When that thing hit you again, you turned back!" 
 Sonic stopped laughing and looked down.  Just as Knuckles had said, 
he was a guy again.  Giving a big whoop, the hedgehog hugged Knuckles 
in his excitement.
      "Cowabunga, the hedgehog is BACK!"
      Knuckles scowled and slapped him.  "Big deal, now will ya PLEASE
 turn me back?!"  Sonic winked at her and ran over to the machine.  
Pointing it straight at the echidna, he turned it on.  The laser hit Knuckles 
and she vanished into a flash of blinding light.
      As the brightness faded, the guardian stepped out, inspected his body, 
and smiled widely.  "I have regained my manhood!"  The two high-fived 
and rejoiced, all the while laughing as they taunted Robotnik, who was 
still a lady and trying to reach the machine (which Sonic and Knuckles 
were keeping out of his reach).  
      Suddenly a small, metallic object caught Knuckles's eye.  While Sonic 
teased Robotnik, the echidna picked up the piece of metal and inspected it.  
Snively, who had been knocked out while all the action was going on, 
groggily came awake and saw the object in Knuckles's hand.
      "Hey you!  Put that down-it's the missing part to the roboticizer!" 
Snively sprung towards Knuckles, grasping wildly for the object, but 
Knuckles just punched the little man under the chin, sending him crashing 
into a wall.  
      "Thanks for the info, my lil' friend." Knuckles grinned, and 
turned to Sonic.  "Hey, blue boy!  Here's the thing that caused 
your confusion in gender!"  Both Robotnik and Sonic turned to look 
at the metal piece, and Robotnik's eyes popped open.
      "GIVE ME THAT RIGHT NOW!" Robotnik screeched, but Sonic 
smirked at the fat lady and pushed the roboticizer out the window, 
watching as it smashed into thousands of pieces in the scrap metal yard 
below.  
      "Guess that lil' piece ain't the only thing you'll need ta get!" the 
hedgehog replied, laughing as he watched Robotnik clutch her hair in 
agony and jump up and down with rage.  Joining Knuckles, he nodded 
for them to escape.  "C'mon, goldilocks, let's leave ol' "Robuttnik-a" 
here with his lil' dilemma." The red echidna grinned back at Robotnik 
before racing out the chamber behind Sonic, disappearing around the 
corner and headed for the Great Forest.
      Robotnik turned his rage on Snively, who was coming conscious 
after his second knock-out.  "SNIVELY!!! GET THATROBOTICIZER 
OUT OF THE SCRAP METAL YARD AND FIX IT THIS INSTANT!!!"

      Stopping for a breather on the outskirts of the Great Forest, 
Sonic and Knuckles rested beneath some tall maple trees.  It had been
 a far more eventful day than expected by either one of them.
      "Whew, I'm glad I ain't a girl anymore," Sonic smiled in relief, 
"Thank heavens ol' Snovly didn't repair the 'boticizer before it turned 
us back."
      "Yeah," Knuckles agreed, "Man, so that's what it feels like ta be a 
lady."  Both were silent for a minute, and then the guardian smiled slyly.
      "Remember our lil' deal, blue boy?"
      Sonic's relief changed into disappointment that Knuckles had 
remembered.  Slowly getting to his feet, Sonic grudgingly muttered, 
"Okay, fine, let's get this over with."  As he zoomed off towards Knothole, 
Knuckles just laughed silently to himself as he glided after the hedgehog.

      Sally was worried sick.  Sonic had not returned on the mission for 
almost six hours, and she was sure something had happened to him.  
Before she could launch Dulcy and fly to Robotropolis to check, however, 
a blue blur zoomed past her and came back, screeching to a halt by her side.  
      "Sonic!" Sally cried, giving him a big hug, "I was so worried about you! 
 Where have you been?" Her relief changed into anger as she glared sternly 
at him.  "You had the whole village up on their feet with paranoia!"
      Sonic blushed fiercely and looked at his shoes while Knuckles just 
grinned and winked at the princess.  "It's a long, long story, your Majesty..."