The Bar

by Juri Memmert
Updated: September, 15th, 1997

Note: 'The Bar' is a very special place, located somewhere in the multiverse, or even beyond that.
I invented 'The Bar' long before I read anything on Tanelorn (see Michael Moorcock's 'Elric') or the Hall of Worlds in the Riftwar Saga of Raymond E. Feist (an absolutely fantastic saga for those who like well developed fantasy and don't mind buying a couple of books). After having read the Riftwar Saga, I adopted the Hall of Worlds as one of many access points to The Bar.

The Bar is a meeting point at a dimensional crossing where many places on different worlds and in different parts of the multiverse converge.
The Bar's physical layout is difficult to describe. It's best to picture it as a large number of interwoven halls, passages and rooms. Since The Bar is not situated on any material plane, physical proximity of halls or rooms not necessarily indicates a direct connection between them.
Sometimes, a room can be reached by two ways, one only a single door, the other is miles long and goes on files in a completely straight line, but still, they lead into the same room.
There are other rooms, where a stair upwards leads into a room, where another stairway, leading up as well, leads 'back' into the first room. (If you know pictures by M. C. Escher, you know what to expect).
This leads to comic situations for newcomers, who look at the ever-present maps of The Bar (there are fixed maps in every room and portable maps for sale) and try to find a 'logical' shortcut.
The Bar is quite large, featuring about 100 large halls (min. 100x100m), 5000 rooms (from 3x3m to 100x100m) and countless passages, doors, stairs and galleries. The exact layout of the rooms constantly and slowly changes (imagine a gigantic version of Rivendell, Elrond's house in 'The Lord of Rings') and the maps display this change in real-time. Within six hours, significant changes are visible, so watch out.
All halls feature a large bar, very well stocked with beverages from countless worlds and you can order a large variety of dishes, from a small snack to a five-hour diner.
All rooms feature a bar, less well stocked, but still good enough to meet most expectations and the possibility for snacks or a light meal.
About ten percent of the rooms can be rented on an hourly, daily, weekly and monthly basis. There, complete privacy is ensured, including full room service. The cost for such a room is extraordinarily high (try 10x to 200x the price of a luxury hotel on your homeworld), but the service is excellent.

The Bar can be reached by a multitude of ways (The Hall of Worlds, Fixed Portals, Big-time fumbles on Teleport spells [for very generous GM's], and any other way, you could think about). But wherever you come from, you always happen to reach the same entry room.
It has only one door, the exit to The Bar, and the rear wall is made of living light. In front of the door a large six-armed creature is patiently waiting for the guests. It is about 6 meters high, with an armour made of Laen.
Treat this creature with the utmost politeness, since it's temper is really short and regardless of how many others came with you, you're always facing it alone.

Guardians of the Entrance
I heavily discourage my players from attacking this creature, but just in case, I assigned the creature a level equal to the attacker's, six attacks per round with the attacker's OB (Two [or rather Six] Weapon Combo at 100%), super-large criticals, the attacker's hits x3, etc. After one round, the wall of light grows 1D10 tentacles per round, whose mere touch teleport the attacker into the chaos plane. Furthermore, an attack is followed by permanent banishment from The Bar (treat as 1d10 'E' criticals of the GM's choice each round, should you decide to come back).
This guardian asks you, politely, to lay down all your weaponry, state your name and profession. After you laid down all your weapons (the guardian is really good at detecting them, treat as 'virtually impossible' hiding maneuver), you need to swear an oath to hold peace in The Bar (treat as Geas, if you like). All weapons are then returned.
GM Note
All weapons are secretly marked with a special substance, which is keyed to the guest's DNA.
This invisible and virtually undetectable substance is produced in glands in the palms of the guardian.
Upon leaving The Bar, the substance fades away. Should a crime occur, traces of the signature remain on the victim to be found. These traces then lead to the owner of the weapon used. The tracer substance is biologically adaptable and can store traces the DNA pattern of the last five people who handled the weapon after marking as well).
Attacking another person in The Bar, as any attack on the personnel, is handled swiftly and usually results in banishment and confiscation of all personal goods in The Bar.

Due to these, and other, precautions, The Bar is neutral ground for anybody.

This neutrality is granted by the owner of this fabulous establishment, Sir Twist, so called due to his twisted humour some say. He is always clothed in the purest white. His clothing is strange to most visitors safe the most knowledgeable. You could try Chicage in the 1920s.
Although rather small (about 1.75m) and unarmed, he is undoubtedly master of this house.
Objects flicker into existence at the snap of his fingers, rooms reshape and passages disappear at his command. Those who break his rules disappear, without weapons, armor or money, to reappear on the Plane of Chaos.
He uses special spells to trace any violent act to the aggressor and then dispenses justice as he sees fit.
GM Note
Treat Twist as a local god. That sorts out a lot of problems with power, abilities, etc.
Sir Twist, or Twist for his friends, is a joyful man, quick with a smile, and seemingly content to provide all his customers with a delightful stay. Always treating all his customers in an equally friendly manner, he doesn't tolerate arrogance, demeaning speech or such behaviour. Not caring, whether his guest is a pauper or a king, he is always full of stories and helpful in the extreme, sorting out many problems. He always seems to be where he is needed, reacting to the smallest sign of need. He handles his staff with ease and his - unseen - orders are carried out in high speed. He never raises his voice, becoming calmer and calmer, the more troubles arise.
Payment is a topic that never seems to cross his mind. When a visitor is ready to leave the establishment, he is handed a bill by the guardian. This bill always shows the amount due in the visitor's home currency. Should the guest not be able to pay immediately, a task (Note: Treat as Geas) is mentioned on the bill, which would compensate for the money owed. Resisting the Geas and not fulfilling the task means banishment from The Bar (should you resist the Geas but fulfil the quest anyway, the next bill will not have a Geas placed upon it).
Should the task include resources far beyond the debtor's possibilities, other visitors from The Bar would receive the same task and are expected to combine their efforts.
Should the debtor(s) fulfil their debts within the boundaries of the support granted by Twist, they are free to keep the rest of all resources as a kind of bonus. Due to Twist's shrewd judgement, this situation is rare to occur. Should he really have misjudged the abilities of the debor(s), that would be the main topic for all people at The Bar for weeks.
Any adventurer, capable of fulfilling his task with less expenses than estimated by Twist is offered further contracts (without Geas), instead of normal payment. Over the years (some say millennia) Twist has built a large network of associates across the planes and is able to access the most remarkable resources, if need be. Strangely, he never does so for his own immediate gain, but to further his friendly connections to his guests (which in turn is a beneficial situation for him).

That's about it for now! I have other work to do, but I'll be back to add some more data soon.


Please send me a messenger pigeon.

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