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imagination in action

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Walking over the Vauxhall Bridge the other day there came to me the idea `Be present'. This was followed by `Isn't it strange that I am very rarely present?' I looked at the office blocks, the river, Lambeth Bridge and the sky with the strangeness of this idea that I am very rarely present. There was also the thought of luggage, carting the luggage of a lifetime around with me with no time to be present. People passed me, walking the other way, their faces cloudy, seemingly at one with some inpenetrable problem.

I have noticed the fear that things will go wrong in myself and in other people. I locked a building up and set the alarm, but was unsure whether I had set the alarm correctly. Alarm bells certainly went off in me: `What shall I say to the police when they arrive?' `What shall I say to my work colleagues when they find out?' Panic!

Half an hour later, away from the scene of the crime, in my mind's eye policemen were banging at the doors of this building, police cars were screeching to a halt and all tranquility was shattered by this frenzied activity. A little later, expecting the worse, I passed by and noticed how peaceful the building seemed.

There may be times when we see ourselves behaving in a way that is different to the imagination we have about ourselves. There may be times, when we find it very difficult to believe what someone says about us. I remember many years ago sitting in a public house with someone I knew vaguely. He told me about a problem a friend of his was having. By coincidence I knew his friend quite well. Our mutual acquaintance was short of money and was letting a friend stay with him. This so called friend had just come into some money, but didn't part with any of it to help our mutual acquaintance. The man in the pub was getting quite irate with the thought of this scrounger. Years later I realised that he was talking about me.

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