Fun Things To Do In A Lift
What to do when you are in a lift full of people ?
Here is a joke I downloaded from somewhere would like to share with
you.
Please make your choice :
- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Shake the person's hand when he/she enter the lift
- Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you
- Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex
to other passengers.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- Sell Girl Scout cookies.
- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of
the elevator.
- Shave.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
ask: "Got enough air in there?"
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
coming!"
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you Admiral.
- One word: Flatulence!
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the
shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
- Do Tai Chi exercises.
- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
"Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
- Give religious tracts to each passenger.
- Meow occasionally.
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
- Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for
them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
- Start a sing-along.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
beeper?"
- Play the harmonica.
- Shadow box.
- Say "Ding!" at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Bring a chair along.
- Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
- Blow spit bubbles.
- Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
- Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
- If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
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© Kenny Chong of Malaysia.