Materials Needed: none

Object: Get as far away from Mom & Dad as you can.

Game Play: Just drop to the floor and start crawling. You get one point for each bench you pass under, so you get more points by going straight to the front of the chapel or straight to the back. Eventually your parents or some other concerned adult will "arrest" you, but that's all part of the fun. If a grown-up tries to grab you, just scream and cry until they let you go (a non-parent will rarely keep ahold of a screaming, kicking child that is not their own).

This game gets more difficult if your church has kneeling pads on the floor, so double points if you have to deal with pads. Ten bonus points for making it all the way to behind the podium. It stands to reason that you have more point potential the further back your family sits in the chapel. You might be worried that this game will embarrass your parents; don't be. If Mom & Dad drag you to the chapel and want you to sit still for a whole hour while people talk about things you don't understand, they're asking for it. Give them the excitement they're subconsciously craving.

Enjoy this one while you're young. Up until you're about two, parents might think it's sort of cute when you giggle and shuffle under the benches. After two, it suddenly becomes obnoxious. If you're under two and you're reading this, you are exceptionally intelligent. Call someone in the news media to do a story about you. If you're over two, you're better off trying the next game.

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