...and I always try to present a professional image. By the way did I mention that I'm not wearing any underwear?

Can we make this quick? Oprah's on in 15 minutes.

This job is merely a stepping stone towards my ultimate goal of becoming the Almighty Supreme Being.

Convicted of a felony. No, but I'd certainly like to try.

Say, didn't I see you on 60 Minutes?

Could you notify my parole officer that I've found a job?

You will refer to me as "Mistress Ken", and you will speak only after I beat the answer out of your weak, but willing, flesh. Understand?

Damn! Your nose hairs are long enough to braid!

Where's the ladies room? I gotta a big-time wedgie.

When ya been in da' big house as long as me, ya don't need no office wid no window.

I ain't never used no computer, but I recon I could give a whirl.

You gonna eat the rest of that sandwich?

What will I be doing in 5 years? Watching you beg for your job, pal.

When I saw Sally Struthers endorsing it, I knew it was the college for me.

So, the presidential motorcade passes right under this window, eh?

References, schmeferences -- We're talking trust here, babe.

Qualifications? I got your qualifications right here!

I bought some buds dude, wanna spark a bowl?

My salary requirements? Just keep those Corn Nuts a-coming'!

Don't you want me to turn my head and cough?

Hey, pull my finger.

Ooh! Ooh! I got a good one! Gimme a match, quick!

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