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Funnies
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Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. | Use your Master card to pay your Visa, and vice-versa. | When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans. |
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Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. | Make a list of things to do that you have already done. | Dance naked in front of your pets. |
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong. | Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals. | Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places. |
Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives. | Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead. | Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. |
Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's (lecturer's) husband/wife. | Pay your electric bill in pennies (coins). | Drive to work (walk up the bus) in reverse. |
Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like (don't tell me). | Tell your boss to "blow it out your mule", and let him figure it out. | Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg. |
Polish your car with earwax. | Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. | Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you. |
Braid the hairs in each nostril. | Write a short story using alphabet soup. | Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail. |
Make a language up and ask people for directions in it. | Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper. | You have more ?!? |
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