BREAKING THROUGH THE SOUND BARRIER
By Rick Warren
You can't do business without communicating. That means to get ahead you've got to continually work on your communication skills. Probably 75% of the problems at work are related to poor communication with your customers, your clients, or your coworkers. Poor communication is also the most frequently mentioned problem in marriage counseling.
1. YOU MUST GIVE UP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS. We get into trouble when we start assuming we understand the meaning of what people say to us. The truth is - everything you hear goes through a filter. Your filter is determined by your past experiences and your unique personality. You may not be hearing what they are really saying. Therefore, it's smart (and safe) to ask for clarification. There are 6 possible messages every time you speak:
2. YOU MUST GIVE UP YOUR ACCUSATIONS. You never get your point across by being cross. Anger and sarcasm only make people defensive...and that kills communication.
Here are four common forms of accusation:
Exaggerating - making sweeping generalities like ''You never " or "You always."
Labeling - derogatory name calling. Labeling never changes anyone. It only reinforces the negative behavior.
Playing Historian - bringing up past failures, mistakes, and broken promises.
Asking Loaded Questions - which really can't be answered, like "Can't you do anything right?"
Ephesians 4:29 says "Use only helpful words, the kind that build others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
3. YOU MUST GIVE UP YOUR APPREHENSIONS. Fear prevents honest communication. It causes us to conceal our true feelings, and fail to confront the real issues. The two most common apprehensions are: the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. But when you face your fear and risk being honest - real communication can happen. Freedom is the result of openness. Jesus said, "The truth will set you free!" (John 8:32)
Until next week...
FOL#31