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THE FAX OF LIFE
A Weekly Service To The Business Community From Saddleback Church

WHEN PEOPLE HURT YOU AT WORK
By Rick Warren

As long as you work with people, the odds are high that you will be hurt by them at different times...
... customers will abuse you
... competitors will lie about you
... associates will betray you
... bosses will not appreciate you

Sometimes people hurt you intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. It doesn't matter- it still hurts! The typical response to hurt is become resentful. Resentment is holding onto a hurt. Rather than letting it go, you remember the hurt by reviewing it over and over in your mind. But rather than making you feel better, resentment only intensifies the hurt. Every time you review it, the hurt seems to get bigger and seem more unfair. The Bible says resentment is self-defeating for three reasons:

It's unreasonable! "To worry yourself to death with resentment is a foolish thing to do." Job 5:2 It won't change the past or correct the problem. It just causes you to act in foolish ways.
It's unhelpful! "You are only hurting yourself with your anger." Job 18:4 It always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. You're miserable while the offender goes on his way unaffected!
It's unhealthy! "Some men stay healthy until they die.. others live and die with bitter hearts." Job 21:23-25 Doctors say that resentment is the most unhealthy emotion. It poisons your system.

HOW SHOULD I HANDLE A HURT?

1. REVEAL YOUR HURT. Admit it to someone you trust. And tell God you hurt! Don't repress it, confess it! If you swallow your anger, your stomach will keep score. I say "Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing."

2. RELEASE YOUR OFFENDER. Let them go. Forgive them - for your own peace of mind. You'll never stop hurting until you've forgiven them. Just remember how much God has forgiven you and trust God to settle the score.

3. REFOCUS YOUR LIFE. As long as you focus on someone you hate- you allow them to control you. When you say "He makes me so mad" you are admitting that he controls your
emotions. Don't resist the resentment, replace it with other thoughts.

Until next week...
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