Welcome to the sad place.

To set the mood, play some depressing music. Our theme song here is `I Don't Believe In Love' by Queensryche, but there are many other songs you could play. The lyrics may not be depressing, but the music sure is.

To set the mood...

  1. `Breaking the Silence' by Queensryche
  2. `All The Lonely People' by the Beatles
  3. `The Thunder Rolls' (or whatever it's called) by some guy who wore a hat and sung country music. (I know, I know, could be anyone...)
  4. `The Cat's in the Cradle' (or whatever it's called) by Harry Chapin
  5. `Here's to the Lonely At Christmas' by Elmo & Patsy
  6. `Hey You' by Pink Floyd
  7. `Comfortably Numb' by Pink Floyd
  8. `Cry Little Sister' by someone I forgot. Check the Lost Boys soundtrack.
  9. `Theme to The Lost Boys' by someone I forgot. Check the Lost Boys soundtrack again.
  10. `Funny Man' (or whatever it's called) by Ray Stevens
  11. `Only the Lonely' by someone, probably the Motels.
  12. `Insect Collector' by Shonen Knife (the greatest band in the universe.)
  13. `Wasted Years' by Iron Maiden
  14. `The Road Behind' by GWAR
  15. `The Messiah' by that decomposing composer, Handel. (Only listen to this one if you watch the Highlander TV show.)
  16. `Talking to Ralph on the Big White Phone' by someone I don't know.

Suicides go up during the holidays, or so goes the myth.
So, how was your Valentine's Day? You probably stayed home with the TV and ate chocolates you bought for yourself. How pathetic that is. You really need to make some human contact.
My how time flies. It's wintertime. And you sitting alone as the snow blankets the world. Poor thing, how's it feel to be even more isolated than usual?

If I may, here are a few lonely people.

Sooner or later I'll get their e-mail addresses up, so you can harass them.
  1. Byrnes. This dirtbag is really hard up. You can get him on the rebound, since he was dumped by Crazy Bev. Oh, he has a lotion fetish.
  2. Giacabone. Voted most likely to be Jeffrey Dahmer.
  3. Downing. Warning- He's broken. Nobody goes for the cheap model.
  4. Stolarz. Parents keep dragging the kids inside when he's on the prowl. Besides, he's Polish.
  5. Olan. Enthusiastic type. I don't know enough about him to say something cruel, but there's probably something wrong, since he wound up here.
    I found something cruel. He's one of those Trekkie geeks who walk around speaking Klingon and wearing fake Spock ears. THAT's why he's here.
  6. Fred, aka `Bubbly'. Since he's stopped driving a truck, he doesn't have those lot lizard people around anymore. Bub, bub, bubblin' along.
  7. Flood. Bigger than a breadbox, smaller than, well, everything else. WARNING: Be prepared to be bested in EVERYTHING if you go out with her, or even spend any time at all in her presence.
  8. Faias. Poor thing knows everybody, but doesn't have anybody.
  9. My sister Bethany. She's not really lonely, but I wish she'd date someone else. See the relative page.
  10. Put your name here. You wouldn't have come if you weren't lonely. Loser.
  11. Me. I'm so pathetic, I have to waste time insulting all these people, `cause I can't get anyone to talk to me for more than 5 minutes at a time.

It's too depressing to continue. I'm heading back to the main page.

Updated 28 Dec 00. Pretty sad, huh?































































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