I received a good deal of these over e-mail. Feel free to add to `em.

Things that make you go, `hmmm'.

1. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor if you can't drink and drive?
2. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
3. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms--are they afraid someone will clean them?
4. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
5. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
6. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
7. If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
8. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
9. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
10. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
11. Why is it that anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?
12. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
13. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
14. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
15. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
16. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes- why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
18. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
19. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
20. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
21. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what side would land down?
22. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
23. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
24. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
25. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
26. You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
27. Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
28. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
29. What's another word for thesaurus?
30. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
31. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
32. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
33. Is it possible to be totally partial?
34. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
35. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
36. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
37. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
38. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
39. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
40. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Actually, I know the answer to #9- `Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways'. It's pretty interesting. I bet you wish you knew.

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Updated 28 Dec 00.