Yup, `Marti' and Ed had a boy. `Marti' wanted to name it something dumb, like Tyler, or Jonathan, or something else. I'm afraid I preferred Eddie's suggestion here- Mac. Cool, huh? "Hey, Mac." Anyway, `Marti' was very unreasonable and refused to even consider it as a possibility. Eddie was even willing to agree to that dumb Tyler name as a first name and go with Mac as a middle name. (At least he's trying to be flexible.)
`Tyler Mac Eick.' Not to shabby. I don't remember what they actually did name him. You have to forgive me, it's only been two or three years now.
Just kidding. As the man of the house, Ed naturally put his foot down and said "Yes dear". The little rascal's named Tyler.
Note to anybody who wants to annoy my brother Brian- Just spew something malicious and then say `Kristin' after it. Brian turns red like a beet. (And then he beats you.)
And did anyone notice the subtle Kristin dig in the above paragraphs? ;)
Speaking of Brian... He's a sergeant. Since I was promoted in May 96, and he was promoted in December 96, I still outrank him, further proof that God is just and merciful. And just think, now I'm an active duty 1st lieutenant, and he's currently in the National Guard. guess who'll continue to get promoted?
Bzzt!!!
Guess you haven't seen my OER...
Brian does like to remind me that he was promoted in less time than it took me and by the active army, while I was promoted by the National Guard during my short, but fulfilling stint there. My response? Gee, Bry, it sure must have been difficult to amass those 530 promotion points to get promoted, compared to the 798 I had needed on active duty. And, oh, if you haven't heard, the Guard switched over to a point system, so I wasn't promoted because of an appointment or connections, I was the #1 commo guy in ALL New Jersey. Not to mention I STILL have more promotion points than you do, no matter which way you want to calculate them, active or guard. And finally, I DO outrank you anyway, so just drop. Get down and beat your face. Pthbthbthbthbthbthb!!! So there.
Sorry for the interruption, people. A slight bit of sibling rivalry here. (I'm winning.)
Huh, he just ETS'd from the army. He must've been REALLY sore about me winning...
So what does an ex-infantry NCO, a combat vet, an expert marksman, and all around PT stud do as a civilian?
Right you are!
He's now a disgruntled postal worker!
Oh yeah, he's married to Kristin.
They got married August 98. I was hoping he'd have wised up by, but my brother is a little dense. Poor blighter. He's so in love, he hasn't realized that he's a family man now.
And I've a nephew over here too, Jonathan. He loves to see me visit, until he remembers what a scary guy I am, then he runs away shrieking. Keeps us both happy that way. Can't wait until next visit- I haven't seen him for a while, so he's probably forgotten again.
Man, what a sorehead. Brian refused to make me best man, he chose Eddie instead, just because I was winning the rivalry.
(And also because Eddie doesn't refer to Brian's wife as `That Kristin Person'.)
Being related to me as a greatest fear, indeed. ;(
But if this engagement thing doesn't work out, and anyone out there is willing to date my sister, e-mail me immediately. You must be a citizen of the United States with no more than 3 jail terms of no more than 24 cumulative months in prison to be considered. Thank you.
Well, Memorial Day has come and gone, and despite my best efforts to wreck the ceremony, they went through with it. (I even offered him 30 dollars. Maybe I should've offered to pay in zlotyls or whatever weird currency they use over there.)
So, they're married, and- get this- they're even co-habitating! Geez, I was only kidding when I said "Get a room!" They went out and bought an entire house. Can't wait to see what happens when I tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.
Oh, this next part isn't about a relative, but some guy named Byrnes is really desperate for a date. He's kind of a dirtbag and has a lotion fetish. I'm sure somebody out there must be interested. Please let me know, and I'll arrange a meeting. Like I said, he's not a relative, but we were kind of on the subject. Go to the lonely hearts club for more info.
Actually, I haven't heard from Byrnes lately. I suggest you try either your local authorities or the FBI.
Next is my brother Kevin. Nice guy, but he really gets on my nerves. To much like me, I suppose. *SIGH* I feel like Arnold J. Rimmer.
Kevin's my younger brother also, by 8 years or so, but I think he's taller than I am. (Yes, he is. I just measured us.) I can still kick his butt though. (Plus I intimidate him by telling him all these lies about `deadly army training fighting techniques' that I've learned.)
Yeah, honor is MY watchword.
Kevin's pretty creative though, and is both an excellent budding artist and a talented writer. This of course means that he hasn't got a prayer of ever getting a good job. He does play a mean game of Talisman though...
I like hanging out with Kevin. We watch anime, pro wrestling, and then beat the @#%^#$%&# out of each other. Who says good TV has no influence on people?
Oh, he just got his driver's license. Please stay off the streets.
That reminds me. Kevin- get OUT of my car, and give the keys back to Eddie or so help me, when I get back you will be in such pain that Computer monitors all over the Complex will flash:
Greg's alright though. I'm trying to get him hooked on anime. He likes Sailor Moon now, so it's working...
and let's not even discuss Pokemon!
Pretty soon Kevin and I will be beating him up in the back room too!
I like Greg because he writes on occasion, unlike my other worthless relatives.
I have parents too.
And I have an annoying cousin named Shea who writes weird messages on my Guestbook. At least that gives it some activity, because YOU obviously aren't there leaving me a message!
Anyway, that's about it on these weirdos. Let's go back someplace sane, like the main page.
Updated 28 Dec 00. Truly the neverending story, but many of you wish it was.
Yeah, I can talk about the others later. They can't wait. Like my Dad- he's retired now, and gets even less rest now. And my Mom, who can live the life of Riley on an annual salary of $3000. Don't ask me how. Plus I'll add the infamous pics of my brothers in their underwear.
Oh, Greg stopped writing. I don't like him anymore.
Shea stopped writing too. (Must be a trend.) I've taken to call him MIA Shea. He's probably in Florida counting chads.
Shea turned up briefly. He did some crying because Gore lost the election. Like a (thankfully small) part of the country, he seems to think that there's no need for presidents or presidential candidates to bother following the law- after all, they only are or aspire to be Chief Executive of the nation.