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In a lighter vein


Things To Do At Work
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same 
outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. 
(This is especially effective if your boss is a different 
gender than you are.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them 
only by these names.  "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm
sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what 
you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in 
the bathroom."

"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your
shoes since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
Call everyone Madge.

Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell 
people you're waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't 
have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during
the meeting.  During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be:
zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they
want fries with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent 
debate about the direction of one of your company's products.  
Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the 
disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little 
synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and 
Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and 
snorkel in the fish tank.  If no one notices, take out your 
snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... 
in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was 
none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, 
"Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone 
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to 
espresso.


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Copyright (c) 1997 Neelesh Bhujle. All Rights Reserved.

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