This is another song inspired fic. Don't worry, I don't have writer's block. New new chapter in both my other stories will be out by Friday latest. Anyway everytime I hear this song I think Gwen. I finally got around to writing a story about it. Just so you know, I believe Ethan and Theresa belong together, not so much because I like them (I used to be a huge Etheresa fan), but because they deserve each other. I'm also a Gwank fan thanks to UAGirl. She converted me with her wonderful writing of the two.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gwen, that's all JER. The song "Never Meant To Be" is by Samantha Mumba.

Feedback is always appreciated.
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I remember when I still believed the things you said

You told me you loved me. You even proposed to me. I was the happiest woman in the world, engaged to my Prince Charming. You were the most wonderful man in the world, Mr. Perfect, the "golden child" of the Crane Empire, the love of my life.

You promised me the world. You said you'd give me anything and everything my heart desired. You always knew the right thing to say when you told me you'd love me forever.

Never would have thought this would come to an end

Then one day, it was over. You broke my heart and shattered my dreams. All I ever wanted was to become Mrs. Ethan Crane. You took that away from me the day you called it off. You told me he you couldn't marry me.

What hurt the most wasn't so much that you did it (although that hurt a lot), but how, where, and when you did it. You waited until the night before our wedding, at our engagement party. You said everytime you tried to tell me before, you were interrupted. You humilated me in front of everyone.

How was I to know that you had another someone new

Why did you shatter all my hopes and dreams? Because you found someone knew. The housekeeper's daughter, the person in charge of my wedding, my Maid of Honor, Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald. She played me for a fool, making me think she was my friend.

I was always suspicious of her. I don't know how many times I aksed both of you if something was going on between you. Each time you denied it, saying you were friends. Ha! You were friends all right, such good friends. I hate myself for not trusting my instinct.

I recall the days, loved you in a million ways

I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man. I gave you everything I had. I was dedicated, committed completely to you, to us. There was nothing I wouldn't do for you. I gave you my undying love, support, faith, trust, and friendship. With everything I had, I loved you.

Suddenly, you and me, from friends to history

Like I said, it was over in a flash. There was no more anything between us. The friendship we build our relationship on disappeared as though it never existed. It's as though we're strangers, or casual acquaintances at best. How did we lose it all?

Now you spend all your time with your new fiance. Our almost life-long relationship ended just a couple, short months ago, and your already engaged to someone new.

I realize- my trust ain't coming back no more

I don't see how it's possible to trust anyone any longer. When spmeone trusts someone as much as I trusted you, and that person gets burned, rebuilding trust isn't going to be easy. I just don't see how it's going to be possible.

Never again will I give myself as completely as I did with you. My pour heart wouldn't be able to handle being broken again. You just hurt me too much for my heart to ever completely heal.

Cause my love for you, will always last eternally

I will love you foreverver. I just can't help it. I've tried to get over you, but I can't. My love for you is too strong to allow me to. No matter what I do, I can't see to let go. I need you in my life, now and forever.

You are in my heart

Why can't you see that. All the love in my heart belongs to you. Ethan Crane, you have my heart forever. Nothing will ever change that. There will always be a piece of my heart that no one can touch. It isn't possible. I love you too much, so that part of my heart will always be you.

I loved you from the start

From the moment I laid eyes on you, I've loved you. You were my first everything. My first crush, my first love, all of thost things were you. I've loved you practically my entire life. That love won't disappear. Not when I loved you from the start.

Baby it's hard to believe, that you and I were never meant to be

Everyone keeps telling me to get over you. "If it were meant to be then it would have been," they say. That's a hard pill to swallow, loving someone for so long, than hearing it wasn't meant to be. For the longest time it seemed meant to be. It would have remained "meant to be" if Little Miss Housekeeper's Daughter never came into the picture.

Does anybody know- this feeling of dispair

I feel like I lost my best friend. Oh, that's right, I did! Ethan and I were best friends. That's way our relationship was so strong. We shared everything and never kept secrets from each other. At least I didn't. The secret you harbored killed me. Even through all of this, I still loved you, still love you.

When you really love someone

My love for you is evident. Everyone can see it. Everyone that is except you. Even your fiance knows it. She better be careful, because I'll be there, ready and waiting if you realizes it's me you want to be with.

When you really care

If I didn't care so much for you, I'd think you were the scum of the Earth. After everything you did to me, all the pain you caused me, I should hate you. I can't though, because I care too much.

It's hard to walk away

It's so hard to leave it behind, to move on. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to try to do. There are some many memories, so many things shared. Everything is still fresh in my mind, as though it happened yesterday.

When I really wanna stay with you

No one understands how much I want to stay with you. I'd give anything just to be with you again. Every night I dream of you holding me, whispering you love me in my ear, kissing me with such a fiery passion, making wild love all night long. It's like that song by Diamond Rio, "One More Day". That's my only wish, one more day with you.

Does anybody know- it tears you up inside

It hurts, it hurts so bad. The pain is so great when I hear you profess your undying love for her. The wounds are still fresh and each time they start to heal a little, you rip them open again, much deeper each time.

Nobody knows I cry myself to sleep every night. I pray to God that this is just a horrible nightmare and I'll wake up soon. I wish it were only a nightmare because reality is harsh.

When you try- to decide, between what's wrong and right

That's the hardest part, deciding between wrong and right. I know it's wrong to hold on, wrong to pine away, but to me, it's right. You were mine, my love, my life. It's wrong to want you back, but I do. It's wrong to make myself suffer, but if it means you will come back to me, it's the most "right" thing I'll ever do.

Gotta know for sure, my trust ain't coming back no more

Will my trust ever come back? Will I ever find someone new? Will anyone ever love me again? Will I ever be able to love again? So many questions, but no answers. Well, at least not positive one's.

Cause my love for you, will always last etenally

I love told you I'd love you forever. I meant it. My love for you is eternal. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have said yes when you asked me to marry you. I didn't need an alter or a priest to pledge my love and devotion. That was in my heart for as long as I can remember.

You are in my heart

Always and forever, you'll be in my heart. Not for one second will anyone come close to you. I put you on a pedestal. You're still on that pedestal. That's my problem. That's why I can't get over you.

I loved you from the start

In the beginning it was you and me. Gwen and Ethan, Ethan and Gwen. We were always together, attached at the hip. We were inseparatible, never one of us without the other. We were young, and so much in love.

Baby it's hard to believe, that you and I were never meant to be

Maybe it's true. Maybe we weren't meant to be. That doesn't make it hurt any less. My heart, it keeps telling me we are. It just won't let go. Why can't I let go? Why cant' I move on? Why, why, why? Why, when you and I were never meant to be?

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So, what did you think? Like it? Hate it?

Nikki
LCSL 4 ever