TOPIC: Courtship vs. Dating.
Courtship vs. dating! What do you plan to do
and what does your family believe? Why?
Sept/Oct 1999
I believe courtship is a wonderful way to find the person God has for you. Not a lot of people will wait, and I believe that if a guy will sacrifice what he wants to please you and God, he should win a lot of points. I loved Joshua Harris' book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and I cried tears of joy when I found out he got married. Some of my friends laugh at me for my convictions, and say that if I court, I'll only attract the geeks. I showed them the picture of Joshua and his bride. I think Shannon is beautiful and Josh is pretty cute too.
Courtship is definitely the way to go!
Rebecca, via e-mail
Well, my parents have always been against dating because it's not biblical. They've been learning about courtship. Personally, I don't want to follow all the strict guidelines concerning courtship, and I don't even want to call it that. What I call it is dating when marriage is intended. God really changed my heart because I totally wanted to date. Now, I realize that God has called me to other things, and I've pledged to save myself for my future husband, which means no dating other guys. At this point friendships have to be sufficient for me, and I ask God for help to control my emotions. I'm the first born, so this is new to all of us...
Angelina, via e-mail
My parents are big on the courtship thing. I'm starting to agree with them, especially when I hear about all the 10-year-olds going out, and 12-year-olds getting pregnant. It's really really sad. I hate the term "Courtship" though. I mean what if a guy asks you for a casual date and you say "sorry, but if you really love me you'll court me with the intentions of finding a wife." I think I'd scare off every poor guy who dared ask me out. But I don't think love should be made of so lightly like it is. And any younger than 16 or 17, it really [can't be serious]. You can't be thinking of marriage at that age; more like "dude, that kid's hot". So courtship, yeah. The dating game can be playing with fire. And it can leave burns on your heart that may never heal.
Julia, via e-mail
TOPIC: RELATIONSHIPS.
Mar/Apr 2000
I think that you should focus on your relationship with God and use the time
of singleness He gives you to fully serve Him. When He brings someone into
your life, then I think it's ok to 'date'. But I think your parents should approve, and it should be marriage intended. So you'll probably be at least college-aged. I reccommend "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. That book encouraged me so much. ~Angelina, CA
This is a touchy topic because there are sooo many opinions on it! I think that the Bible isn't really all that clear about "dating" relationships. There is the
verse in Thessilions about not having sex until you're married, but not much else! I've looked! The Bible does say that our single years are a blessing and we
shouldn't rush things. As far as getting into a deep relationship before I'm
ready to get married, it's silly! For me, right now in my life (I'm 16, a very dateable age!) I know that I have other things that I should be doing. I'm not ready to look into getting married, and for me that is what follows dating. Dating now while I am so in-tuned with the way a guy looks, I'm not sure that I could deal with being with him and knowing that he could very well feel better than he looks! lol! There were kids at my old church that were in the 5th grade and they all had boyfriends and girlfriends,
and they "went together". I used to ask them, "you're 12 and 13-years-old! WHERE are you going!". That's
still the way that I look at it! Until you're ready to GO some where (like a trip down the aisle!) don't go with them! But, it's all kinda of relative to the person and what they are ready for. Like I have 2 friends
one is 18 and the other 17 and they are getting married in a few months! I don't think I'll be ready to get hitched next year! But they are, obviously! Anyway! I believe that in the matter of relationships
it's better not to rush things, and ALWAYS pray about it!
~Meredith, NC
