THE SOCIALIZATION TRAP A book review by Nancy This book is written by Rick Boyer, a veteran homeschooling father, who wanted to address the often asked question, “But what about socialization?” Mr. Boyer writes with humor and is easy to follow - this is not an academic research-type book. In his introduction, Mr. Boyer lays the foundation for the answer to this socialization question:
“It’s commonly assumed that home taught children are at a disadvantage because they spend more time at home with their families than do other children, causing many parents to look for special “social occasions” outside the home and the normal family routine to expose their children to “kids their own age”. This is the Socialization Trap. Most home educators are ensnared in it because they simply don’t realize that conventional (worldly) wisdom pertaining to socialization is wrong. Age peer social groups are not helpful but harmful to children. The natural and Biblical pattern of family-based, age- integrated social development is the great need of the home education movement today. It is not in the artificial, pressure-cooker atmosphere of the school that normal social learning is done, but in the home, the church, the community, the workplace.”
Although Mr. Boyer does not make reference to it, when a close study is done of the history of the government school system, you soon find Darwin’s theory of evolution with its accompanying assertion that humans are merely highly evolved animals, as the dominant influence of the thinking of such men as Horace Mann and John Dewey, who are applauded as the originators of our government school system. An interesting quick-read on this subject is a booklet by Chris Schlect called “A Critique of Modern Youth Ministries”.
Mr. Boyer makes a valid case showing that one of the great myths of our day is that children need to spend large amounts of time with children their own age to learn to relate properly to other people. He lists eight related myths which are accepted in our society without question which contribute to this great myth. These eight myths are:
1. School is a great place to learn social skills. 2. Constant comparison and competitition are not
harmful to children. 3. Team sports are the ideal way to learn teamwork, self-control
and dedication to a goal. 4. Home educated children need special activities
to compensate for their lack of social exposure. 5. Church activities should be age graded. 6. Dating teaches young people relationship skills
they will need in marriage. 7. Television is a valuable socializer because it
exposes children to the world outside their
home. 8. Social contacts should be made at random so
that children will meet a wide spectrum of
personality and character types.
A large number of homeschoolers made the decision to homeschool for social reasons. The peer group was hurting their children, so they took them out of it. Yet, most home educators turn right around and look for all sorts of age peer activities to put their children in. Their own socialized thinking assumes that their children are now lacking something! And so the world’s own foolishness is incorporated into the homeschooler’s mindset without being examined in the light of what God’s Word says.
In his conclusion, Mr. Boyer summarizes: “In a nutshell, the message of this book has been that God’s natural and Biblical way of learning to live with others is better than man’s way. Man talks about socialization, God talks about companionship.....If America is to see a revival, parents must learn to seek God’s way instead of following the crowd. Going with the flow means producing more masses of confused, insecure, purposeless young adults. Seeking God’s way means discipling a generation of champions for the King’s service.”
AMEN!!


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