can't quit this shit

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

i felt so dirty when i got home from practice. i really liked that movie the panic room because things with secret passages in homes and security things really intrigue me. i honestly get a kick out of reading about secret hide outs, like in anne frank, and places where you would go for security that are in the walls or in unknown areas. its this thing that i get so excited about hearing or reading. maybe the only real thing that intrigues me. man, when i grow up i want something like that. i dont know what it is. as far back as i can remember ive had this thing about mask murderers like jason and michael meyers and the things id do if they chased me, places id go for security. i didnt know that there was a name for places like that, panic room. i want one when i grow up, or a secret hiding place that no one but i would know about. i know for sure that some people in that theatre disliked that movie. i heard comments. overall, the storyline was OK, but the fact that there was a panic room made the movie muy excellente.

i want the mall. i want a mall in vallejo, so i can easily go shopping without having to worry about toll or a ride (a ride, maybe sometimes). i am so close to buying a walkman i can taste the headphones in my saliva. ugggggggggh (drool like homer).

you know, sports cars are pretty cheap now a days. a 2nd class model of a cool camaro is probably 17-18,000. a lesser cool mustang is about the same. both of these cars are about the same as a civic. unfortunately, my parents dont want me to get a sports car, if they are the ones paying. so theyll probably end up getting me a civic, shucks, but its still a huge step up from walking. i love you mom and dad.

i love me some camaro.

im awake stopped @ 10:48 PM.

Sunday, March 31, 2002
lalala happy easter you chicas

Arlyn On Line stopped @ 7:41 PM.

Saturday, March 30, 2002
www.dorkoftheday.com

Arlyn On Line stopped @ 12:53 PM.

WAHOOO SPRING BREAKK.. blah i'm probably going to be stuck home doing homework and going to practice...................... EXCEPT FOR THE MALL RAMPAGE wahoooooo wahoooooooooo MONDAY CORRECT??????anyhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo iii'ma go clean my room ciao mein!

Arlyn On Line stopped @ 12:52 PM.

Monday, March 25, 2002
i must be saying it wrong, it isnt the disease from smoking, its a coughing bacteria. a bacteria infection, thats all.

im awake stopped @ 6:24 PM.

Sunday, March 24, 2002
what kind of bacteria is in your infected throat? you might have bronchitis. I have bronchitis, and I may have given it to you. I saw the doctor this wekend after the longest time ever, like 7 years. It turns of that I am contracting bronchitis and I should take this pink deeeeelicious medicine to help with the ear ache, it tastes like bubble gum. mmmmm. well. stay away from me. its no good for you. apparently, having bronchitis is a bad thing because it lowers your immune system and its ability to fight diseases and sicknesses. so ive gotta be super careful avoiding chicken pox because I dont ever want those, doc said theyre even harder to control when youre an addolt (adult)-- why do people say it like that?

im awake stopped @ 11:00 PM.

::cough::cough:: look at all that bacteria floating around in the air. you know the bacteria in a sneeze travels at about 75 mph?? pretty fast eh? i don't wanna go to school tomorrow. i can't even find any cough drops. BLAH! school is dumb lol. i got a 0/12 on the chem quiz. how sad lol i thought i'd get at least ONE right but i didn't. oh well, she isn't counting it anyway. sucks to my assmar. get this song: pink - "don't let me get me", it's pretty cool, i like it. i hope this week goes by quickly. spring break is coming up. easter luncheon with family next sunday. read the stand. do history homework. SHIT =D

Arlyn On Line stopped @ 11:46 AM.

Saturday, March 23, 2002
blog on virge of destruction

im awake stopped @ 10:14 AM.

Friday, March 22, 2002
i was trying to talk about giving up and losing hope. it was a good conversation too. i was so mad and frustrated earlier. i wanted to punch everyone out. my gramma kept saying "come on uh-tee" telling me to eat, and i was getting mad because she said it about 7 times. same thing. i hate trying. its like life is setting you up for failure. i got a "c" on the history test, the same test i thought i knew, i read and studied. the same grade i would have gotten if i didnt even try or read or whatever. in math i got so many damn problems wrong, i thought i knew that test. i thought i did well. more disappointment. in chemistry, dammit, i thought i knew all this shit about equilibrium. apparently i was wrong and got a 6/12. more discouragement. damn. im so fucking pissed. everytime i try i still mess up or fail. i dont want to try.

im awake stopped @ 10:00 PM.

fuck fuck fuck fuck. i tried to open a different page and i ended up erasing all this stuff i wrote on this page because it opened on this same wndow. im pissed now because i wrote all thsisan;owarihflahsdfljkasjd;ofi aw[toiujqfadf;lkasjdr;o awejpric qwrk fucking emotion and shit and my gramalkdsjf;lkasjdf;lkasjd; flkjarioaweoifj;laksdjflksdjfk GRAMAMAMAMAKLDJz;sLDKF keeps ssaying the same shit over and over agaihnt. its making me stresseeeslkfm.

im awake stopped @ 9:09 PM.