Not That Sane. V Lakshman. Every Wednesday.

Come to Oklahoma (Jan. 15, '97)

So the Canucks want to boycott Florida, eh? On the slim chance that you'd been abducted by aliens and didn't know, Canadian churches are urging their members to boycott Florida in protest over the Helms-Burton law. The law threatens to punish Canadians and other foreigners who do business with Cuba.

Since over two million Canadians visit Florida every year and spend a gazillion dollars there, this is no idle threat. Florida tourism agencies are apparently flooding Canadian airwaves with "Oh, come on" messages.

Just in case the Canucks are serious and are looking for some place warm to spend a little time, might I suggest Oklahoma? We don't have any ocean but we have so many dams and irrigation tanks that we have a shoreline longer than Florida's. We have less crime than Miami and better taste than Disneyland. We even drive better out here -- we actually turn our indicators off after changing lanes.

Plus, on a clear day, they should be able to look north and see clear across to Canada -- there is nothing but barbed wire and North Dakota in between.


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