The Candidates (Sep. 16, 1999)

Compared with Indian ones anyway.

The simplest election in India is a carnival. You have the protest candidates who stand just to lampoon the real ones. Humongous cut outs line the streets. Loudspeakers mounted on three-wheeled "autorickshaws" and posters are everywhere. Lackeys build platforms, cover them with thatch and mouth off about their opponents. Hecklers try to take issue with each thing. Elections are fun, although the politicians who win such circuses are obviously clowns.

In America, of course, most of these things are illegal. You can't have processions without permits. Loudspeakers? Forget about it. Posters? You'd get sued for destruction of property. Negative advertising? Only on TV. And that's quite expensive.

Which is why the Internet is so cool. Lampoon sites abound. Try these ones for size:

1. The All Gore, Inventor of the Internet site, although to be fair, Al Gore did play a major role in building the Internet.
2. George Bush, drug-free since 1974, and Hypocrisy with Bravado site.

   Of course, Pat Buchanan's official site should be as entertaining. Drop him a note and ask him to run.

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