FATHERHOOD - Part Four
Written by Kirri Liepins

NOTE: The Flashforwards and the Flashbacks throughout the story will be spoken from Phil's point of view. Thought i'd let you know to avoid confusion.

FLASHFORWARD->>>>

"Phil, hold on, buddy, you're almost there!" a doctor encouraged me as he practically shoved me into a wheelchair. I silently thanked God that they'd decided to wheel me into the hospital, because there was no way I could get in there on my own in the state I was in. Mike, Toby and Andrew circled around me and opened black umbrellas that could've sheltered elephants.

"Isn't this a bit extreme?" I asked Mike through my grunting and puffing.

"It's just a precaution. We're keeping you hidden until we get you to your room."

Oh, Christ. If the pain in my stomach got any worse, I would explode, I was sure of it. I now regretted every single word i'd said about how if women could do it, so could men. I was wrong. Undoubtedly, undeniably wrong. The agony I was having to endure was like nothing i'd ever experienced in my life, and hopefully never would again. Whatever came over me when I consented to this damn experiment? Whatever drugs they were pumping me with, I hoped they would use the same drugs as they used when I said 'yes'. Maybe if they put enough into my system, it would completely knock me out and then this would all be over.

I let out a sound I could only describe as across between a groan and a choke. If I didn't know any better, i'd think I was giving birth to Belgium. That's certainly what it felt like.

"Come on," the doctor said as he began to wheel me through the clean white corridors of the hospital. In passing, I could hear a music tape playing in a room. Without looking, I took pity on whoever was occupying that room. There couldn't be anything worse than giving birth to the sounds of The Beatles. Especially when the selected song was "A Hard Day's Night" or "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da". I couldn't see past the monstrous umbrellas, but I was sure that people were looking on, wondering who the heck was being hidden from view.

"Where's Kate?" I asked as we rounded yet another corner, latching onto Toby's arm as another contraction shuddered through my body. My fingernails dug deep into his skin, but he showed no signs of pain. Strangely enough, I felt jealous of that.

"We tried calling her but we just got the answering machine again," he replied.

"Well, keep trying!" I didn't mean to sound so pushy and angry, but it's hard to maintain composure when you feel as though your body's trying to turn itself inside out. "She promised she wouldn't miss this!"

"She'll probably turn up at the last minute," Andrew predicted, performing a flurried jig beside my wheelchair as he tried to keep up with me, stay under the umbrella and dial a series of digits on his mobile phone. "That's the way it always goes in movies. There's always that split-second."

"If this labour is like a movie, i'm walkin' out midway through!"

"Would you like an epidural?" the doctor asked, shoving my chair from behind. Epidural? How about euthanasia? Anything to put me out of my bloody misery!

Finally, after what seemed like a really bad rollercoaster ride of constantly turning corners and dipping, we arrived at my room. Andrew had called ahead and had arrangements made for me. It was bad enough giving birth, without having to suffer the humiliation of doing it with a bunch of other people around you doing the same thing. Besides, I knew just how a pregnant woman would feel if they found out they were sharing a room with a man. But at least we could then say that men and women had finally found a common thread.

As the doors were locked and the umbrellas were closed, I could feel two pairs of hands grabbing my upper arms and pulling me up. The pain was becoming unbearable. But, unfortunately, I had a long time to go until I could find relief. This was just the beginning.

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