How to bathe the cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have
   both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
   bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
   lids(you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not
   get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be
   reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and
   rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are
   no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,and quickly lift both
   lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
   where he will dry himself.