The following are the top four winners of a
Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine"

1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up 
energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks 
of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told  her  that if she did not start 
behaving "right now",she would bepunished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and  said in a voice just as threatening, 
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing 
Daddy's pee-pee last night!"  The silence was deafening after this enlightening 
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last 
of my dignity and walked out of  the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing 
I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson Stafford,Virginia

2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my 
parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a 
romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone 
ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to 
the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get 
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on 
and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"  My entire family, aunts, uncles,  
Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and 
I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.  
Tim Cahill  Poughkeepsie, New York

3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long 
time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount  store. When she 
finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her  items had no price tag. 
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for 
all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."  
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood 
the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a  business-like tone, a voice boomed back 
over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH  YOUR THUMB OR THE
KIND YOU POUND IN WITH  A HAMMER???"

4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, 
scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was 
going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been 
circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him go down to the principal's 
office, he was to call his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it
and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat Suddenly, there was  
a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him 
sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I  told you to call your mom."
she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till 
noon,she'd come and pick me up from  school.."