The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

1.    Good:      Your wife is pregnant. 
      Bad:       It's triplets 
      Ugly:      You had a vasectomy five years ago. 
2.    Good:      Your wife's not talking to you 
      Bad:       She wants a divorce 
      Ugly:      She's a lawyer 
3.    Good:      Your son is finally maturing 
      Bad:       He's involved with the woman next door 
      Ugly:      So are you 
4.    Good:      Your son studies a lot in his room 
      Bad:       You find several porn movies hidden there 
      Ugly:      You're in them 
5.    Good:      Your hubby and you agree, no more kids 
      Bad:       You can't find your birth control pills 
      Ugly:      Your daughter borrowed them 
6.    Good:      Your husband understands fashion 
      Bad:       He's a cross-dresser 
      Ugly:      He looks better than you 
7.    Good:      You give the "birds and bees:" talk to your daughter 
      Bad:       She keeps interrupting 
      Ugly:      With corrections 
8.    Good:      The postman's early 
      Bad:       He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun 
      Ugly:      You gave him nothing for Christmas 
9.    Good:      You son is dating someone new 
      Bad:       It's another man 
      Ugly:      He's your best friend 
10.   Good:      Your daughter got a new job 
      Bad:       As a hooker 
      Ugly:      Your coworkers are her best clients 
      Way ugly:  She makes more money than you do.