"Corporate Lessons"

Lesson Number One: 

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," the turkey said and sighed. "But I haven't got
the energy." 

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed with nutrients." 

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. 

Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
the turkey out of the tree. 

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there. 


Lesson Number Two: 

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be boss. The
brain said, "I should be boss because I control all of the body's
responses and functions." 

The feet said, "We should be boss since we carry the brain about and
get him where he wants to go." 

The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and
earn all the money." 

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of
the asshole being the boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked
itself up, and refused to work. 

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the
feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain
fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the
boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the boss just sat and passed out the shit! 

Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole
will do