A Glass Of Milk 

Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction? 

Optimist: The glass is half full. 

Pessimist: The glass is half empty. 

Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass. 

Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it? 

C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug. 

Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow. 

Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding. 

MIS: I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR. 

Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk. 

Prolog programmers: I know I drank it - just don't ask me how. 

Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking. 

UI designers: What's that crap in my glass? 

Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to 
that. 
Windows users: Where's my straw? 

Mac users: Where's my pump? 

UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.