How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time:

Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage,
empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed,
laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube,
stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite,
pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch,
toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return,
beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show
equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower,
shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive, grovel, ignore, defend, milk,
coax, clothe, straddle, melt, brag, acquiesce, aromate, prevail, super
collide, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge,
polish, upgrade, spoil, reddi-whip, embrace, delouse, accept, butter-up,
hear, understand, jitterbug, mosh, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal,
climb, swim, hold her hair while she's puking in the toilet, nurse,
resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay,
kill for, die for, do a nickel in Attica for, dream of, promise, exceed,
deliver, tease, flirt, enlist, torch, pine, wheedle, cajole, angelicize,
murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, hezbollah, jihad, elevate, enervate,
alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble,
gratify, take her to Funkytown, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor
of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue
persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide,
slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle,
slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate,
gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-
coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast,
enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.

How to Satisfy a Man Every Time:

Blow job