A Kenshin and Kaoru parody.
Kenshin is somehow being forced to engage in girlish
chit-chats with Kaoru. What's worse, he had to explain the facts of life to her.
Poor guy, I just love torturing him. ^_^
This is assuming that Kaoru is very clueless about the
things involved with growing up and experiencing new feelings. I know it's unlikely because she is 17 and would have gone through those things years ago. But Kenshin wasn't there years ago. It's no fun without Kenshin.^_^ So I'm making exceptions.

Disclaimer: RK characters are not mine. Need I say
more?

Warning!: Massive OOCness. And slight adult content. Some maybe offended. I dunno...



It was a beautiful morning, with the sun casting
bright rays on the town of
Tokyo. It's people bustled about as their busy day
began.
The Kamiya dojo was, however, unusually quiet. In the
yard, a redheaded
man could be seen doing the laundry. He glanced in
the direction of the
bedrooms and shook his head smiling.

"Yahiko-chan and Kaoru-dono are over sleeping. I
wonder why?"

Usually, they'd be up early, indulging in a session of
the Kamiya Kasshin
Ryu. But most of those times, as it turns out, Kaoru
ends up chasing Yahiko
around the dojo for calling her names.
Kenshin smiled in relief. None of that today. Today
was going to be a
quiet and peaceful day for him. So it seemed. But he
couldn't stop
feeling a little bit uneasy about something. But
what?

Kaoru stood in her room. She got out of her
nightwear, and stood naked,
looking down at her body. She's been thinking about
some weird stuff these
days. Why was she feeling this way? It has never
occured to her before.
She looked down at her breasts, surprised at how much
they have grown in
the past few years. But why? Why do they have to
grow? She dreaded
having to bind her breasts everytime she put on her
training gear.
"Mou! These breasts are such a drag!"(um not to be
taken literally^_^)
She hastily threw on a bath robe and made her way to
the bath house.

As she opened the sliding door, the sun greeted her
with a blinding blaze.
Sheilding her eyes with her hand, she saw a glowing
red form infront of her.
"Kenshin?"
She wasn't sure but this being infront of her was like
an angel. All it
needed was a pair of wings.

"Ohayo, Kaoru-dono"

She jumped, not realizing that he had walked up to
her. Most of her vision was
blurred by the sun in her eyes.

"Are you alright? You look frightened." Kenshin
asked, with just a hint of concern
in his voice. His usual self would have been more
concerned but now his mind was on
something else.

"Oh, you just startled me that's all." She gave him a
reassuring smile.

*Why is he looking at me like that?* She followed his
gaze and found herself staring
at her own chest. Her barely covered chest infact.
*No wonder...Kenshin was--!*
She gasped in astonishment with her face already a
deep shade of red.

"Sumanu, K-Kaoru-dono! I didn't mean to--" Too late.
He knew he was gonna get it.
He squinched his eyes shut and bowed his head, ready
to receive whatever she threw at
him. Boy he'd done it this time. The ultimate
offence. He's seen her...he saw HER!
One more second and it won't matter. He was a sure
gonner. One more second and--

"Nani?"

He looked around but there was no one else.

*Hmmm...I must be THAT desprate to see Kaoru-dono in
the nude. I'm starting to
hallucinate.*

"Oh I can't waste time day dreaming...though it was
rather...nice..."

<Slaps himself back to reality>

"I can't go on like this. I've got work to do.
There's the laundry to
finish and breakfast to start..."

***

In a bathroom a few feet from Kenshin, Kaoru pressed
her back against the closed door
and breathed heavily.

*What was that feeling...I wasn't angry at
him...actually...it felt kinda
exciting...*

She pressed a trembling palm on her pounding heart.
This can't be right.
It's not logical. Kenshin has seen her...well not all
of her but still...
She should be angry at him. Well it wasn't his fault
entirely. If she hasn't
been in such a hurry to put on her bath robe and
gotten so distracted at the
angelic sight of Kenshin in the sun...then...this
wouldn't have--
Well she always thought of Kenshin to be a perfect
gentleman. She could never
even imagine him to just rudely stare like that and
how could he just--

'Stare like that'...yes the way he looked at her...it
was the cause of her
unusual excitment. She was sure of it. The way his
wide eyes were fixed on
her and she thought she saw the tip of his tongue
tracing the inner
lining of his lips. The short moment he was frozen in
that state, his
undivided attention on her, seemed like it could last
forever.

*Why was he fascinated by my breasts? I always hated
them and thought them
to be a bother. But the way Kenshin looked at
them...he seemed to be
enchanted by them and regarded them as special. But
what's so special about
a couple of over-swelled body parts?! Baka!*

Kaoru wished with all her heart, for the first time,
that she had a mother or
an older sister to talk to. A person who have gone
through the stages of
growing up. A person to guide her and provide her
with logical solutions to
the strange emotions raging through her right now.

Maybe what Kenshin did...looking at her
ch-ches...maybe what he did was a
normal involuntary action from males towards a
female's body parts.

"Baka! He saw my breasts and I should be angry at him
and so I'm going to be!
He's gonna get just what he deserves! "

She shoved all other thoughts away, labeling them as
nonsense, and proceeded
to go through a hurried bath.

*****


The earth seemed to shake for a split second.

"Oro?!" Startled, the wash tub was flung up into the
air.

"KENSHIN!!!"

"N-Nani?!"

He neverously turned around to see an enraged
superdeformed Kaoru.

"Just what do you think you were doing! Staring at
my--"

CRASH!

Her words were cut short by a wash tub which seemed to
have fallen from the
sky.

The overturned tub lay a few inches from Kenshin's
feet. He may
have managed to dodge the tub but not it's soapy
contents. A soaking
white gi clung from the top of his head, passing white
foamy water
down the middle of his pink gi. The pink material
darkening into a
shade of magenta as the moisture took rapid
consumption.

"Excuse me Kaoru-dono." Kenshin was relieved for the
interruption,
which would delay whatever pounding he was about to
receive from
Kaoru. He was not saved but at least he could live
for a couple of minutes
more.

He quickly removed the wet gi from his head and threw
it into the same tub.
And without any hesitation, his own gi was untucked
and flung open. He
casually took the partially wet gi off and proceeded
to dry the rest of his
body with it. Seemingly unaware of Kaoru's presence,
he noticed that the
top of his hakama was slightly wet too and proceeded
to untie the knot.
His keen senses detected a slight gasp coming from his
stunned spectator.
He looked up, his face questioning.

"Oro?...oh! uh, yeah um I'll start with breakfast
soon, Kaoru-dono. I
just need to wash these too. Just a sec--"

He continued his stripping process. The knot from his
hakama was finally
untied. The hakama fell to his hips then his whole
body shivered from the
morning chill.

"Maybe I should do this in the bathroom." He turned
and dissappeared off
into the bathroom.

"But-but..." A stunned Kaoru suddenly looked
confused.

"What is this feeling? I'm hot all over. My face
especially. I need to
know! Grrr! Kenshin! Wait!"

She desperately ran and barged into the bathroom.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" A high pitched scream echoed trough out
the dojo.

"Don't scare me like that Kaoru-dono." Kenshin
pressed a palm to his pounding
heart. He was by now, ofcourse, totally naked.

Kaoru's jaw dropped to the ground. And Kenshin had
that 'Oro?' look.

"W-what is that?" She pointed a trembling finger at
the center of Kenshin,
a few inches below his navel.

"What?! Where?!" He frantically searched his whole
body, then finally realized
what she was pointing at.

"Phew! You scared me again Kaoru-dono. I thought
there was a spider on me or
something. Heh heh! When all you were pointing at
was only my penis!"

"P-p-penis?"

"Uh-huh. It's what boys have instead of vaginas like
you girls."

Kaoru was starting to sway. The sight of the so
called 'penis' was clouding her
conciousness.

"It's s-so big and l-lon--," she gulped in mid
sentence. "Why do you have one
of those?"

Kenshin smiled. He knew the perfect answer to that.

"It's very simple Kaoru-dono. I have a penis because
I'm a boy. I may not
look like one but trust me, I am. And the reason that
we're made different is
so that when a boy and a girl come together, they can
make a baby." He
finished his sentence with a happy smile.

"H-how?" Kaoru asked wide eyed.

Kenshin's smile vanished for a second. Then it
reappeared. Yup, he knew the
perfect answer for that one too.

"It's very simple Kaoru-dono." A mysterious smile
crept up his lips.

"I could tell you but you'll never believe me. I
guess the perfect way is
for me to demonstrate. But where in the world am I
going to find a
willing girl?"

He shrugged and looked almost dissappointedly deep in
thought.

With his face downcast, he passively went about his
task at hand (i.e. drying up
his naked self ^_^).

Kaoru, on the other hand, was bursting with curiosity.

Her face growing a shade too red...

"Kenshin! Wait!...well uh um...I'm ...a willing...
girl..."

Nobody saw the smirk on Kenshin's downcast face as
those words rang like sweet
melodies in his ears. Oh it's been so long. Ten
years long.

And his final thought was...

*BINGO!*

-------------------------

Ack! I'm afraid to continue...^_^

The story wasn't meant to be like that. It got all
weird around the end.
No, I'm the one that got weird. eh heh heh.

I didn't mean the story to be like this but I decided
to have fun with
Kenshin's OOCness. And got carried away I guess.

I'll write another version to this where Kaoru is
gonna be the naughty one.

^_^
-Myki-chan

p.s.- *bows her head in shame*
I'm sorry for not posting in a while. I've
just started attending college and it's keeping me busy.