The scene is a fair sized room, well lighted, rows of chairs set up, a fairly sized audience of young men and women. The crowd is well riled up and excited to be here. They clap their hands and shout.
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
The audience chants in sync. It is strangely hypnotizing.
An older man in his late 50’s walks out and the crowd immediately explodes. He has white hair and a receding hair line. Glasses sit quietly on his nose and a black microphone is in the grasp of his wrinkly hand. He waves to the audience and they start chanting the strange rhythm again.
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
The man begins to speak.
Jerry: Hello everyone and welcome to the show. Today we have on guests who have a secret that they are keeping from a friend or lover and they would like to bring it out in the open. And they came on the show to do it. What will the secrets be? We’ll find out today on the Jerry Springer Show!!
The audience claps for a moment and then stops as Jerry begins to speak again.
Jerry: Our first guest, Allen, is 25 years old. He admits that there is a secret that he is keeping from his current girlfriend and he felt she needed to know. Please welcome Allen!!
The audience claps as a young man with long blonde hair steps out through the door. He grins slightly as he sits in the chair. Dressed in a long blue outfit with puffy frills, members of the audience snicker a little as they see his getup.
The applause recedes and Jerry begins to talk again.
Jerry: OK, now Allen, you have a girlfriend named Millerna, correct? And you have brought her on the show today because you say there is a secret you are keeping from her.
Allen: Yes, there is Jerry. I thought it has been long enough for her not to know and it is important. I feel a bit bad about not telling her, but now that’s why were here.
Jerry: Millerna is currently in the green room back stage and cannot hear anything that is said here, she will be brought out shortly. Now what is the secret you have to tell her?
Allen shifts a bit uneasily in his chair and adjusts his frills a bit.
Allen: Well I wanted to tell her that even though I love her and have been with her for a while, I was sleeping with her older sister Mylene.
Audience: OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Jerry: You were sleeping with her older sister?
Allen: Yes, and also I now have a five year old son by her too.
Jerry wrinkles his brow.
Jerry: And she knows nothing of this?
Allen: She doesn’t even have a clue.
Jerry: How do you think she will react to this news?
Allen shrugs a bit.
Allen: I really can’t say......... I hope she will be accepting and understand.
Jerry: OK, and you have a five year old son too.
Allen: He’s an illegitimate child.
Audience: OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Jerry: Well in a moment we are going to bring out Millerna and you can tell her yourself. Please welcome Millerna!!!
The audience applauds as a young pretty woman with long blonde hair walks out. She has a nice figure and is wearing a rather low-cut dress. Some of the men in the audience whistle and stare at her legs. She smiles at the audience and then turns to Allen and kisses him before sitting down in the chair. She holds onto his hand and readjusts her dress a bit.
Jerry: Welcome to the show Millerna. Do you know why your here?
She shakes her head smiling
Jerry: Well Allen says he has a secret he needs to tell you. Is that OK? Please go ahead Allen.
Grasping her hand in his he turns towards him. She is smiling however he is not. He’s a bit nervous and bites his lip. He starts talking.
Allen: Well, you know Millerna, we have been dating a while, and I love you lots. You know that.
The smile slowly starts to fade from her face.
Allen: But there is something I need to tell you that you don’t know about.
He pauses.
Allen: Before you and I were together, well your sister Mylene and I were lovers. And we have an illegitimate child together.
Millerna’s mouth drops open. She pulls away her hand from Allen. Her face is that of anger.
Millerna: WHAT??!! That hussie ass ho!!! You had sex with her!!?
Allen looks down a bit embarrassed. Millerna stands up really mad now.
Millerna: And you didn’t tell me this before?! How can I even trust you!?
She paces in circles for a second. Allen is nervous biting his fingernails.
Millerna: How could you even do that to me!?
She waves her arms frantically, and the audience laughs a bit.
Millerna: You had told me that you had never slept with anyone else besides me!
Allen: I’m sorry honey that I didn’t tell you sooner.
Millerna: You better fu**ing be sorry. Your so disgusting Allen, I can’t even look at you!
Audience: WOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **applause**
Allen: I really didn’t mean to keep it from you so long.
Jerry: Well it seems that there are two sides of the coin, Millerna, don’t you actually have a secret you want to tell to Allen too?
Millerna moves the chair far away from Allen. As she sits she throws her hair behind her shoulders.
Millerna: Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. All I have to say to you Allen is that while we were dating I’ve been seeing someone else. We even had sex.
Allen’s eyes quickly change from timid to angered.
Allen: Oh, look who’s lying now! Who is this jerk, I’m gone kick his ass!!! You lying little hussy!!
Jerry: This man’s name is Dryden. Everyone please welcome Dryden to the show!!
The audience claps spontaneously, anxious and Dryden rushes on the stage.
Allen quickly gets out of his chair anger in his eyes. Dryden is carrying
a dozen flowers of all colors for Millerna. The audience hollers as Allen
rushes towards Dryden with the intention of harm. He swings his fist at
Dryden who holds the flowers up in his face. They are knocked out of his
hand and go crashing tattered to the floor. Allen grabs Dryden by the shoulders
and pushes him off of the little steps in the back and Dryden starts pounding
his fists against Allen’s chest.
The audience is in a huge uproar now screaming and clapping at
the fight, lusting for more. Three big security guards dressed in black
rush up on stage to separate the two men. A bald man grabs Dryden with
great strength and pulls him out of the way as another grabs Allen. The
uproar in the audience is dying down now as the two men straighten themselves
out still throwing dirty looks at each other. They sit down in the chairs
a bit calmer now. Jerry has a funny look on his face and starts to speak.
Jerry: OK, Millerna, you say you are having an affair with this man Dryden while you are dating Allen, is this correct?
Millerna: Yes it is. Allen just wasn’t giving me what I wanted. Dryden on the other hand knows how to please a woman.
Audience: WOOOOOOOO!!!!! YEAH!!!!
Allen has a stunned look on his face while Dryden on the other hand has a very pleased look.
Allen (to Dryden): You dirty bastard why do you have to go for women who are already taken!!
Dryden: Don’t even go there. She came to me!
Audience: WOOED !!!!!!!!!!!
Allen (to Millerna): How could you cheat on me behind my back?
Millerna: It’s the same as what you did to me.
Allen: Not even!
Millerna: In fact, I’m even seeing two people behind your back.
Allen: WHAT??!!
Audience: *LAUGHS*
Suddenly all attention is diverted to the door as a young woman walks through. Millerna hops up to meet her. The young woman has light blue eyes, a slim figure, and silver like hair. Millerna puts her hands up to the other woman’s face and kisses her deep. The audience goes wild. People stand up and clap and cheer and whoop.
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry is smiling and scratching his forehead. Millerna ends her embrace and takes the woman by the hand. They sit in chairs next to Dryden, hand in hand. Allen’s face is shocked and angry and his eyes as wide as saucers.
Allen: SERENA!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD?????????!!!!!!!!!! So you’ve betrayed me too! How could you!
Dryden grins and Serena sheepishly smiles.
Serena: I’m sorry brother.
Jerry: So you two are together?
Millerna: *defiantly* Yes we are!!
Allen: That’s really Fu**ed up of you Millerna.
Serena: I like being with her Allen.
Jerry: And have you two slept together?
Millerna: Yes we have!
Allen: Serena, you know your not supposed to be having sex, your still a child!
Serena: I’m an adult now brother, I think I can make decisions for myself!
Jerry looking at his blue cards.
Jerry: Allen you have also brought another guest with you today, and her name is Hitomi. Everyone please welcome Hitomi!
A short young girl rushes out, face red and ready to rumble. She rushes over to Millerna.
Hitomi: Excuse me but what’s your problem bitch! You shouldn’t just go cheating on Allen like that you ho! You obviously don’t have any morals!
Millerna: Who do you think you are!! At least I don’t look like a mushroom bop girl!!
Hitomi swings her hand out and it connects with Millennia’s face to make a slapping sound. The crushed flowers Millerna was holding from Dryden swing toward Hitomi as she smashes them over her head. Hitomi sputters, and suddenly gets a fist in her mouth. It was Serena! Hitomi teeters back, stumbling. The security guards engulf the girls like football players. Hitomi desperately tries to break the grip of the huge security guard. Curses are thrown back and forth and the audience is going wild!!
Hitomi: Fun you bitch!! I’ll smack your ass down!!
Millerna: Why don’t you just run to Allen little girl!
Jerry slightly smiles and shakes his head. Watching in amusement. They finally settle down but the tension between the parties is still high.
Jerry: So Millerna, I don’t suppose your gone forgive Allen right?
Millerna: Of course not! He can have Hitomi! I have Serena and Dryden!
Jerry: OK, well that solves that matter. Our next guest is a young man named Folken. Everyone, please welcome Folken.
Folken walks through the door and everyone applauds. He has light green hair, black leather cape, and a tear drop tattoo. He smiles at the audience and takes his place in the chair in front of the last party.
Jerry: So, Folken, you have decided to come on today because you have a secret that needs to be revealed to your brother Van, is that correct?
Folken: Yes, that is correct.
Jerry: Well how about we see what the secret is when we bring Van out. Everyone welcome Van!
The audience claps as a young dark-haired boy with a red shirt and white pants strolls out the door into the main concession room. He smiles when he sees Folken and Folken smiles back.
Jerry: Hi Van, welcome to the show. OK, you know your brother Folken has brought you out here today to tell you something very important.
Van: OK.
Jerry: And go ahead Folken.
Van smiles at Folken as he turns towards him. Folken leans closer.
Folken: Van, I want to tell you that............. well.............I’m in love with you!!!!
Van’s face registers shock.
Van: Well, uh, brother............
Folken: Can’t you hear the pound of my heart? I desire you, your body, and mind.
Van: ERRR........ Folken!!
Audience: WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Folken reaches out and grabs Van by the hand.
Folken: You can’t resist my sexual powers. We will be one body and soul!
Van starts to back up and tries to pull away from Folken’s firm grip.
Folken breathes hot down Van’s neck. Van Tries to get away but falls over
the chairs onto the people behind.
There’s lots of commotion and people yelling. When Van opens his eyes
he looks down at a very ANGRY face. It’s Serena. Not only is he on top
of her, but his hand is on her breast, and a minute ago his face was too.
Serena grabs Van by the shoulders and throws him off. Van goes skidding
on the floor.
Serena: GET OFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She breathes heavily anger filling her. Suddenly she screams and grabs her head. The audience diverts all it’s attention to her wondering what’s going on. Allen in shock runs up to her.
Allen: Serena! Are you OK?!! Oh no!!
He grabs her shoulders, but suddenly they’ve gotten a little bigger, Dilandau!!! Dilandau stands up hands twitching, a homicidal look on his face. He reels around to face Allen.
Dilandau: DON’T TOUCH ME!!!
Allen steps back a bit concerned. Dilandau looks down.
Dilandau: WHY AM I IN A DRESS!!!!!!! GYAAAAAHHHHGGGHH!!! I hate dresses!! Who did this to me!!!!
Millerna surprise in her eyes reaches out for him. Dilandau smacks her hand down.
Dilandau: I know........ who did this..........to me.
He giggles and touches his scar.
Dilandau: Yes.... there could only be one person capable.
Jerry is looking rather interested. He has never seen something like this on his show before, mabey close.
Jerry: Uh, sir! What is your name?
Dilandau: DIE you old man!!!!
Dilandau picks up the nearest chair and chucks it at Jerry.
It crashes to the floor hitting one audience member. Jerry doged successfully. The audience is now really excited. They begin the ceremonial chant once more.
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Dilandau whirls on the audience.
Dilandau: SHUT UP!!! YOUR GIVING ME A HEADACHE!
Suddenly his eyes come across a lonely individual trying to stay away from it all, and in a rather shocked state. Dilandau giggles and smiles devilishly.
Dilandau: Van...........
Dilandau advances towards him and then suddenly jumps on top of him!!! He grabs Van around his skinny neck.
Dilandau: I’m gonna kill you for this!!!
Van: ack.... ack.......
The security guard rush up and all grab Dilandau trying to pry his hands off of Van. Allen enraged at the handlement of his sister... uh brother runs to Dilandau’s aide.
Allen: Leave him alone or your gonna have to answer to me!! As a knight of heaven, I, Allen Schezar will fight you as best as I can!!
Hitomi sighs exasparatedly as she has heard this many times before. Allen rushes in landing swift blows on the security guards. Now Millerna is rather feisty and mad at the treatment of Dilandau.
Millerna: HEY!!! NO!! He’s mine!! Get off of him!! Princess power!!
And she rushes into the brawl. The older brother Folken is also annoyed by what’s happening to Van.
Folken: HEY!! Lay your hands off of him now!! He must be unscathed!! Only I may touch him!
And Folken rushes into the brawl. Hitomi sighs and sits back watching. She looks over and sees Dryden winking at her.
Hitomi: huh?
Dryden sits next to her.
Dryden: Hello there pretty lady. You look lonely sitting over here all by yourself. Want some company?
Hitomi: sure.
Dryden: It’s getting a bit hot in here, wanna go out side?
Dryden gives a dashing smile and of course Hitomi can’t resist. She takes him by the arm and they walk out the door.
The fight meanwhile is still going on. One security guard already K.O.’ed. Suddenly Folken let out a big yelp!!
Folken: OWW!!! Dilandau just bit me!! You crazy little monster!!
Allen socks Folken in the face and he drops to the ground. The security guard aims for Dilandau, but Dilandau being rather agile dodges and he gets Millerna instead. Millerna is gone now. Allen lays a crushing blow on the last security guard. A pile of bodies lay on the floor. Jerry is looking rather funny. Meanwhile Dilandau stands triumphantly over the pile of bodies.
Dilandau: WA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Allen sighs and knocks Dilandau over the head rendering him unconscious. Dilandau slumps to the ground but to be caught by Allen. Allen picks Dilandau up in his arms. He looks in the corner of his eye and sees a battered Van sneaking out the side door. Allen turns around and walks off the stage. The audience is very satisfied of the outcome and cheers wildly.
Audience: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
Jerry turns to the audience with the microphone in his hands.
Jerry: OK folks, let me wrap this up with the final thought, some secrets are just best kept secret!!!
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