FAQ 7 Part B: Hypothetical Questions

You can, but above all make sure they write using correct grammar, punctuation, spelling, and simple coherent sentences. Even though English is not my first language, it is the only one I can read and write in legibly on a computer (and it happens to be the most common on the net). The other languages I can read to a limited extent, so only do so if there is no alternative (your friend only knows that language, etc...)

If you send me a message too complex for me to understand, I can only reply "I don't speak ____" (fill in blank) in the language that you wrote me in. Je ne parle pas français!

Q: Hey, in the past you had archives 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, and 8. Where are 3 and 4?

If I ever post them, they will be private archives only for those I know personally.

Q: No!

A: Yes.

Q: No! No! No!!

Q: Howcome when I delete 5 megabytes of small files I end up freeing up more than 5 megs of hard drive space?

Most IBM PCs allocate hard drive space in chunks of 32kb (known as a "cluster"). So, a 0kb file actually takes up 32kb on most (not all) computers.

Ami is washing her hair
you should find out where
it begins with her name
the place is the same
just count to three and you're there.

Q: What is the next riddle?

I will answer that later in this FAQ.

let us play a game
first we choose a name
pharoah isn't long
when the vowels are gone
four aces lead to the dame

Q: Tell me the solution, please. Yes?

It's much more fun to tease you.

To find three aces, look for Taro
add the fourth to complete the arrow.

Q: Now will you tell me?

Q: Why is RamFAQs so plain and without fancy graphics?

I prefer to only add graphics as necessary because I find it the most efficient way to distribute information through RamFAQs. Some people who have slow modems or bad connections would have to wait at a site with many graphics, and I also wanted to make sure RamFAQs was easy to view for all browsers and configurations. Slower computers also can't handle too many graphics, and so I felt it best to do as much as possible through text and regular html.

Q: Why won't you post CP codes?

CP codes can be determined using free software like CPpoppup. Cpoppup includes both a Win95 and Dos version. There is another one that is for Mac, but I don't know as much about it. The only CP codes I ever give out are those for images that Cppopup cannot determine.

If you can do this yourself (surprisingly, most who ask me can), then you are asking me to visit the site, download a picture, run CPpoppup, determine the CP, and then notify you. For the long run, teaching you is far better than leading you. You'll get far more of what you want once you start doing things yourself. If a CP really can't be determined by CPpopup, then ask around and chances are someone else has seen it before.

Q: Why don't you tell me the registration/serial for this program?

I have no problem with you obtaining or passing around such information, I just don't want to make it so easy that people who would normally register do not. So, you'll have to look for it. ;)

Q: Why do you sometimes want me to e-mail you for the answer instead of posting it on the board?

Either I like extortion and want to trace you or I don't want unwanted ears to hear what you want to know. Your guess. ;)

If you want to send a message to me anonymously, either use a remailer or leave a private message on my guestbook.

Q: Why won't you even tell me something even over e-mail?

Chances are I would only tell people I know very well. This is so that someone doesn't recklessly post this information on a board or abuse it. That's a problem because if this information does get posted, it might quickly become useless as a result.

Q: Why do you write FAQs?

It saves time for me and you.

Or I'm starting a conspiracy. ;)

Q: Now will you tell me the next riddle?

The next riddle won't be for another few weeks; the person who puts them up only does one a month. On the other hand, look around. Right now I'm decorating the shrines. Ahem. Right now I am decorating the shrines. Nothing special, so just move along.

The data chunks bear a magical seal that can only be breached with the right incantation.

Q: The "magic seal"? The "right incantation"? I don't understand.

Good.

Q: How would I best distribute my bookmarks?

One person found it efficient to post it in a more permanent place like the Laputa Board, and it certainly seems like a great idea to me. More people will see it and it won't interrupt or push aside useful dialogue that might be found at places like Jade board. If you want to "advertise" it, simply post a message pointing to your post.

Note: Laputa board has since been removed, so you can post any lists to boards like Free Board instead. If you want to hide your IP, be sure to use an anonymizer.

Q: What should I do to deal with this loser who flames me/everyone/someone on this board without provocation?

If it's a one time event, ignore it completely. (Just my opinion)

See the 27th Rule of Acquisition.

Q: What if it's habitual?

Keep in mind it will only satisfy him to see that his words have enraged you (assuming you are the target). Do not stoop to his level by using harsh language if at all possible. Discover why they are doing what they are doing. Is it to make themselves feel better than you? Or are they trying to get back at you? If you can think of any way of taking away this need, then you have found the correct solution. Hurting their feelings will not take away their need to feel important, for example (though it can be lots of fun =). Responding in a positive manner will usually do the trick.

I have quoted several exchanges of words between me and people who have bugged me in archive 5. ;)

Q: What should I do about a spammer?

If it's a one-time thing, either ignore it or in a friendly manner ask that the poster not repeat it. According to some anti-spam sites, most spammers simply don't know better, as opposed to those that don't care. Give him this advice as an equal and hope he is one of those that doesn't know any better. If possible, post a few urls, give out some info, or just chat a bit, anything to keep their spam from staying near the top for any significant period of time. With luck, the spammer will realize they are wasting their time (which they are in this context anyways).

If it's habitual and malicious, hopefully someone will dig up the info on the site being linked to and post it as a deterrent. If the site has sponsors, see if you can contact them. Hits generated by spam are worth far less (because many such visitors have little or no interest in spending money).

Keep in mind that many spammers have poor morals by nature and will often resort to any measure to further their own purpose. If you can convince them they're wasting their time (without angering them in any way), they will leave. In the future I hope to find some other boards that might be slightly more on-topic for spammers.

Q: I am a spammer. What alternative do I have to spamming?

Promote your site using banner exchange programs. My personal site has gotten thousands of additional hits, and compared to spamming, hits generated by banners are worth far more because of the increased likelihood that the visitor has the intention of spending money or time.

Another way is through a ranking site like Websidestory or one of those "Top 1000" pages.

If you simply go out onto the streets and try to shove such material into people's faces, even many people who would be otherwise interested would be turned away and probably angrily so. Think about it. Unless of course, you enjoy being spammed yourself.

Q: Some people just want to mess up a board by posting really long or weird posts. What should I do?
A: If you can't ignore it, you can try reposting the board. FAQ 10 will give details on how to do this.

Note: Due to the size of this FAQ, Conversation Corner has been turned into Archive 5.

-Ramses

I write these FAQs in hopes it will benefit and educate you, so as always, feel free to correct me and add your own suggestions. You may remain anonymous or allow me to credit you with the suggestion (I will assume the former but definitely feel free to volunteer the use of your nick in the credits of the FAQ)