Banana Productions presents:

THE END OF THE WORLD 

A Ranma 1/2 fanfic by Nik

 

>>>>>> Part 2: Ye Gods! <<<<<<<

 

            It was white.  It was fluffy.

            It was the lair of Crysanthmin, Goddess of Fluffy Goodness.

            Nabiki briefly considered barfing all over the pristine background, if only to add a splash of color(s) to the horrifyingly

white motif.  Even Kasumi couldn't produce a white this blinding.

            The goddess herself looked rather incongruous, sitting on a high-backed fluffy golden chair and wearing a loose purple robe with lots of butterflies on it, with a purple ribbon cinched tight around the waist to emphasize its smallness. 

            She was humming to herself and playing with the white butterflies hovering about her, although they could have been one-eyed mutant bats for all Nabiki knew.  All this white was really hurting her eyes.

            Jamirah released her grip on Nabiki's arm and stepped forward. "Sister," she announced loudly, "I have come."

            "Sister?" Nabiki wondered aloud.

            "Well, you know, we're close and all," Jamirah whispered. "We've been pals for thousands of years!"

            Crysanthmin looked up and beamed at them.  Something in her smile reminded the two visitors of a sunshiny day in the meadow, where the grass sway gently in the breeze and prissy butterflies flit from flower to flower.

            "Hello," she greeted them in a high, delicate voice.  She stood up and walked gracefully toward them.

            Jamirah leaned close to Nabiki to whisper in her ear.  "Now don't let her make you feel like a clumsy oaf.  She always moves like that."

            Nabiki nodded.  "Ummmm," she said a moment later, "could you please stop nibbling on my ear?"

            Jamirah giggled softly and stopped.

            Crysanthmin gracefully reached out and took Nabiki's hand.  Her grip was surprisingly strong, but her gaze was rather blank.  One had the feeling she was about a zillion miles away, perhaps in the outskirts of Wonderland...

            "I'm so pleased to meet you," she said warmly.  She turned to Jamirah.  "And you, dear friend, how have you been?"

            "Kinky as always," the sex goddess replied casually.

            A pained expression crossed Crysanthmin's face.  "I rather hope you won't be as...graphic...in your explanations, my friend," she sighed.

            "Don't worry about a thing," Jamirah replied cheerfully.  "I'm here on serious business.  Stuff that has nothing to do with sex and kinkyness."

            Crysanthmin looked relieved.  "That's good to hear," she murmured.  She turned around gracefully and started walking back to her chair.  "Come and sit by-" She stopped as she tripped over a rather long golden chain, landing with a thud on her (flat) ass.

            Nabiki couldn't help snickering.  Crysanthmin scowled.

            Jamirah apparently felt the need to defend her friend's clumsiness.  "The chain, you see, was placed there by the other gods in order to insure Crysanthmin's safety.  Look how one end is connected to that heavy pillar, and the other to that rather stylish anklet she has..."

            "What, so she won't float away?" Nabiki asked, grinning.

            "Exactly."

            Nabiki laughed some more.

            Crysanthmin, meanwhile, was not amused.  Her face contorted, her usually beautiful features transforming into a stunning resemblance of a particularly hideous gargoyle.  "DIE!!!" she screamed, launching a nasty lightning bolt at the middle Tendo daughter.

            Jamirah sighed and dissipated it into harmless balls of fluff with a wave of her hand.  "Temper, temper," she admonished.

            "Hmph." Crysanthmin crossed her arms and stomped back to her chair, only she got tangled up in the chain and tripped again. Gracefully, of course.

            Flushing, she stood up, ignoring Nabiki's muffled laughter, and finally managed to get to her chair in one piece. 

            "What is your reason for visiting me?" she asked coolly.  "And why do you bring this impudent mortal, whom I shall one day feed to my carnivorous butterflies?"

            Nabiki broke out into hysterical laughter, clutching her sides.

            Jamirah's lips twitched.  "Don't be like that," she said to her friend.  "Just because she has bigger boobs..."

            Crysanthmin stood up and glared at her fiercely.  "That has nothing to do with my anger!" she hissed, her (practically nonexistent) bosom heaving.  "You try my patience, old friend.  What is it you seek? Tell me before the temptation to turn you into a dust cloud overwhelms me!"

            Jamirah looked to be on the verge of teasing the other goddess some more, but then she frowned and sat down on a chair that mysteriously appeared from nowhere.  It was a fluffy chair.

            "The children of Apocalypse have returned," she said grimly.

            Crysanthmin paled.  "No," she whispered, "not them.  Not again."  She looked down at her hands.  "I thought the seals would last for all time!  I thought Apocalypse was dead, killed by your goddesses! What happened?"

            Nabiki went, "Whoop!" as a chair shot up from the ground and sat her in it.  It was fluffy too, of course.

            Jamirah shrugged sexily and crossed her legs.  "I have no idea," she drawled, leaning back indolently.  "But I do know this concerns the other gods who helped seal his children." 

            "Yes, yes," the other goddess muttered, standing up and pacing.

            "And me," Nabiki piped in.  "I'm supposed to be the brains behind this operation, right?"

            Jamirah winked at her.  "Of course, darling Nabiki," she said smoothly.

            Nabiki pushed up her sleeves.  "Well, I'll need information first.  Lots of it."

            The sex goddess nodded.  "The other gods, the ones who were my allies, will supply you with whatever you need."  She turned to Crysanthmin.  "Shall we go?"

            The other goddess sighed, nodded, and teleported them with a wave of her hand.

*******************************

            Ryoga Hibiki grunted as his body met the ground in a rather friendly fashion.  He scowled and pushed himself to his feet, drawing his bamboo umbrella as he did so.

            "All right," he growled, "I already said I wasn't going to join up with you again!  What's the deal?"

            "We just felt like beating you up a little, brother," said a shadowy figure in a nasty voice.  "You don't get out of being one of Apocalypse's children that easily."

Ryoga gave a battle cry and charged, grinning fiercely as his umbrella slammed into something solid.

            "OUCH!  OW OW OW!!!  OWOWOWOWOOOOOOO!!! "

            Ryoga winced.  "Oops.  Did I hit him in the...you know...?"

            "Yes," a female voice said indifferently.  "This is a waste of time."

            "Now, now," another male voice chided.  "Our brother just needed to settle some unresolved emotions."

            Ryoga glared hard at the shadowy figures surrounding him. "Well, he's learned his lesson," he said, "so why don't you people leave me alone?"

            "I was going to, anyway," the female voice said.  One of the figures vanished abruptly.

            Another figure leaned down to help up the one clutching its groin.  "Storm's coming, brother," he told the Lost Boy.  "Best be prepared."

            They vanished.

            Ryoga sighed and closed his eyes.  He really shouldn't have agreed to be one of Apocalypse's children, no matter how desperate he had been to defeat Ranma.  Apocalypse had dramatically boosted his strength and endurance, but  he'd still lost to his pigtailed rival.

            "Life sucks," he grumbled.  Apocalypse hadn't forgotten him, it seemed, despite his breaking off from the group a few years back.

            "Skanky bastard," he growled, walking along with his head down.

            A hand on his shoulder made him stop.

            "Hey, Ryoga," Ukyo greeted him cheerfully.  "Back in town again, I see.  Help me carry these, would you?  Konatsu's got the day off."  She dumped her load on him gratefully.

            "Sure, Ukyo," he said a moment later.  "That's me, good ol' Ryoga, pack mule extraordinaire..."

            Ukyo chuckled.  "Aw, c'mon," she said teasingly.  "All that strength should be put to some use, eh?  We're almost to my shop, anyway."

            A few minutes later, Ryoga lugged her stuff inside Ucchan's and lay them gently on the floor.  "Need anything else?" he asked absentmindedly.

            Ukyo grinned wickedly.  "Well, as long as you're being a gentleman, you could help me by doing Konatsu's job for a little

while."

            Ryoga groaned.

            Unseen by both martial artists, Nikita smiled evilly and melted back into the shadows.

*******************************

            Nabiki stared at Gribeau, God of Raw Animal Sexuality (and Jamirah's counterpart) and tried not to drool.

            "Apocalypse," began Nerdstramus, God of Nerdiness, "is a two-thousand year old mortal with incredible powers."

            "What's incredible about these powers," interrupted Zaphira, Goddess of Nasty Glares, "is that we haven't figured out what they are yet."  She Glared hard at the other gods, who affected not to notice.

            "Yes, well," Nerdstramus harrumphed.  "Thanks to Jamirah, we know he can fire energy blasts.  And if reports are to believed, he can heal himself as well."

            Zaphira sneered, directing a despising glance at the Flaming Seductress, and the room temperature went down a few hundred degrees. Jamirah just shrugged ruefully.

            A chinky goddess ran a hand through her shimmering, shining, bouncy, smooth, silky hair and smiled.  She was Xier Lei, Goddess of Fabulous Hair.  "How's my hair?" she asked no one in particular.

            "Great, great," Crysanthmin replied drolly, rolling her eyes. 

            A sudden puff of black smoke announced the arrival of Nikita, who instantly moved to her mistress' side and started whispering something.  All the deities leaned forward discreetly, trying to eavesdrop.

            "If I may continue," Nerdstramus said loudly.  Everyone looked at him, and he straightened up fussily.  "Apocalypse believes that only the strong survive, so he has made it his business to make sure that they do, by fighting and killing everyone he encounters.  The ones who survive his attack will be deemed 'fit' to survive, and won't be bothered anymore."

            "And his children?" Nabiki asked, tearing her eyes from Gribeau.

            Crysanthmin spoke up.  "They are mortal as well, and possess considerable power.  They call themselves things which men fear, e.g. Death, Despair, Famine, War, and the like.  They are a nightmare," she shuddered, "and it was only through considerable effort that we gods and goddesses sealed them in caves."

            "Caves?" Nabiki asked slowly, a horrifying thought nudging her mind.  She leaned forward.  "Tell me, when you sealed them, did you do it personally?"

            Gribeau smiled.  "Most, we did," he replied sexily.  "But his most powerful one was canny, so we had to use a couple of mortals to do the job."

            Nabiki gulped.  No way.  It couldn't be...

            Nikita finished her report and bowed deeply, backing away. She glanced up and shot Crysanthmin a challenging look before straightening up, and the Goddess of Fluffy Goodness sniffed, turning away pointedly. Zaphira Glared at the world in general.  Jamirah just chuckled quietly to herself and made soothing motions to her servant.

            All the deities were looking expectantly at Nabiki.

            She sat up straight and made her voice businesslike.  "Well.  If these people are already in Japan-"

            "They are," Jamirah reported.

            Nabiki nodded in acknowledgement.  "-then that makes it easier. There are a bunch of people who owe me favors (or I can blackmail), and they're mostly martial artists.  I'm certain I can convince them to work for us...."

            Nikita snapped to attention.  "Permission to speak, mistress!" she barked.

            "Granted," Jamirah said languidly, sipping some punch.

            Nikita turned at Nabiki.  "There is a martial artist in Japan who was once a member of Apocalypse's group.  I believe you know him.  Ryoga Hibiki is what he calls himself."

            "I hope you didn't traumatize him to get that information," Nabiki said jokingly.  Nikita smiled slightly and shrugged.

            Nabiki nodded to herself.  "Good.  I'll have to talk to Ryoga as soon as possible; he might have more information."  She stood up.  "I do hope that no one expects me to do all this for free..."

            Jamirah and Gribeau laughed.  "We'll reward you amply," they said together, then gave each other mischievous winks.

            Nabiki sweated.  "On second thought, the chance to use my skills for the benefit of society is reward enough..."

            The gods and goddesses snickered.

*******************************

            "I don't know anything," Ryoga said flatly.

            Nabiki sighed and shook her head.  Meanwhile, Ukyo watched them curiously from the corner of her eye.  She had no idea why Nabiki had sauntered in, grabbed Ryoga, and hauled him to a corner table.  And she didn't like the looks of the blond bimbo in the dominatrix outfit who was standing over them...            

            The aforementioned blond bimbo looked at the chef and winked slowly.  Ukyo quickly went back to work.

            Nikita was bored.  She got bored too easily, but then that was a good characteristic in a sex goddess.  After all, variety was good. This mortal boy was not responding well to Nabiki's probes, so she decided to do something about it.

            She sat down on his lap.

            Ryoga's eyes widened, but before he could change her all-black outfit to an all-red one, Nikita lightly pressed her fingertips to his temple and mentally redirected the flow of blood to...well, somewhere else.  As in, down there.

            "My," she purred in his ear, "you're a big boy, aren't you?"  She laughed throatily and squirmed slightly, causing Ryoga to turn beet red and fidget uncomfortably.  His eyes twitched and his eyebrow hairs stood on end.

            Nabiki raised an eyebrow and tried not to smirk.  "Well," she said after a while, "I think Nikita here wants to ask you some questions, Ryoga.  I could leave you two alone..."

            "NO!" Ryoga gasped.  "I'll tell you everything!  I was with Apocalypse a few years back!  Please get her off!!!!"

            Nabiki flicked her hand, and Nikita slid ssslllooowwwlllyyy off the Lost Boy.

            "So talk," Nabiki ordered, signaling to Ukyo.  "Can I have a deluxe, please?" she called sweetly.  Ukyo shot her a hard look before nodding and turning away.

            "I wanted to beat Ranma," Ryoga began, shooting hunted glances at the sex goddess sitting innocently beside him, "and he said he could help me.  He did something, I dunno what, but it did make me a lot stronger and tougher."

            "He certainly did," Nikita drawled, tracing a hand over his chest.        

            Ryoga swallowed noisily.  "Uh, then when, uh, Ranma beat me, I got mad at him, Apocalypse I mean, and I said I wasn't going to join up with him anymore.  I beat up his followers and left.  He just stood there."

            Nabiki looked thoughtful.  "Probably decided you were strong enough already."

            Nikita sneered.  "And how many pathetic fools follow him, anyway?"

            "Ummm, six or seven.  Supposedly, Apocalypse had this really powerful follower, but I never heard a peep from him."

            "Any idea where Apocalypse or his followers are?" Nabiki asked, smiling at Ukyo as the chef sent an okonomiyaki spinning on her plate.  "Thanks!" she called.

            Ryoga fidgeted.  "They attacked somewhere pretty near here.  I guess they're not done with me yet."

            "You beat them once, you'll beat them again," Nikita declared, glomping him.  "My hero!"  Little hearts started floating in the air, and Nabiki plucked one out of the air and popped it into her mouth.

            "Mmm, sweet," she mumbled.  "And chewy."      

            "Would someone get a crowbar, please?" Ryoga asked faintly.

*******************************

            Crysanthmin frowned, stood up, and paced.

            Jamirah sighed.  "Now, my friend," she said gently, "Nabiki is with my Nikita.  Have no fear that they will fail."

            "How much can we trust this mortal?" the other goddess asked, almost to herself.  "I sense much greed in her."

            "Greed leads to hunger, hunger leads to sex, sex leads to me!!!" Jamirah cried, laughing insanely.

            "Is there nothing else you can think of?" Crysanthmin asked crossly.  "One would think your brain is composed solely of...of..."

            "A sticky white substance?" Jamirah supplied helpfully.

            Crysanthmin shuddered.

*******************************

            "Excuse me?  You want us to what?"

            Nabiki gave her younger sister a cool glance.  "Beat up a few people," she repeated.

            "Sure," Ranma said, cracking his knuckles.

            Nikita glanced at him with hearts in her eyes, and he swallowed, backing away from the goddess slowly.

            "And why would we do that?"  Akane asked suspiciously.

            Nabiki reached into her pocket and pulled out a picture of Akane and Nikita in a rather compromising position.  "You didn't think I didn't have any other way of capturing this on film, did you?" she asked sweetly.

            Akane squawked angrily and turned red.  Snarling, she made a grab for the picture, only to be stopped by Nikita.

            "Calm down," she advised smoothly.  "Nabiki, we should go report to the Council."

            "Wait!" Ranma cried.  "All you need is the two of us?"

            Nabiki gave him a cursory glance.  "Ryoga'll be there.  Anyway, Jamirah has assured me that Nikita here can effectively wipe out an army by rolling her hips (or something).  I don't really need much more for these...people."

            Nikita beamed proudly.

            "Right," Ranma said.  "C'mon, Akane," he gestured to his still-red fiancée, who glowered at him and turned away sharply.

             Ranma sighed.

******************************* 

WELL?

            "The gods are planning something, my lord."

            LET THEM COME AGAINST US.  THE ONES MOST WORTHY SHALL SURVIVE.

            "Yes, lord."

            WHAT'S WRONG, MY SON?  WHY ARE YOU CLUTCHING YOUR...ER, YOU KNOW...

            "I...had a little accident, my lord.  Uh...my zipper got stuck..."

            I . . . SEE.  HOW UNFORTUNATE. 

            "We will not allow such a thing to hinder us, lord!"

            VERY GOOD.  NOW COMES THE STORM, MY CHILDREN.  PREPARE YOURSELVES. 

            "SIR YES SIR!"

            AND STOP BEHAVING LIKE MILITARY WANNABES.

            "......"

 

End part 2.

Author's Note: Many thanks to Weird Al Yankovich for providing some laughs with his wacky new song.  Star Wars is so spoof-worthy!  EOTW Part 3 coming sooner or later!