Darien's Dating Tips
This column was created before I changed my site to be fully based around the Japanese version. Mamoru's Dating Tips just does have the same ring to it. This is my view on Darien and is supposed to be funny. If this insults anyone, heh, sorry ^_^ Enjoy!
So you want to be as suave as Darien? Here's his "Tips for Dating":
Well first of all, you can't be as hot as me, so that's one thing keeping your from getting girls. The first step to getting girls is to find which type is yours. These are my major girl types:
-blond with meatballs and is clutzy (my type)
-short blue hair. very intellectual. lovves chess
-long black hair, tells fortunes, keeps crows named Phobos & Deimos
-tall, brown hair in a ponytail. great ccook but can't fit into her junior high uniform because the new one is too small because she transfered from another school for fighting
-long blond hair with a red bow, has a wwhite cat. is Sailor V
-young girl with black hair who can channge into an evil woman because she's possessed
-young girl with pink hair in football-sshaped meatballs. can also turn into an evil woman. attacks her future parents
-tall, short blond hair, very athletic. isn't interested in you because she already likes the following
-shoulder-length aqua hair, very musicall, isn't interested in you because is going out with the above
-older, long green hair, controls time
-long silver, black or brown hair in a pponytail. disguises as a man, but reverts to female form when she turns into a superheroine
If you find a woman who doesn't fit into these groups then you're weird because everyone does! I mean what girl can't turn into an evil woman? Okay, now onto the big question, how to ask her out. I suggest dressing in a tuxedo and saving her from a monster. Be sure to carry a lot of roses. If that doesn't work, call her pet names that annoy her, that insult her. When you're in a relationship with the girl, break up with her to show her how much you care, even if it's for no reason at all. She MUST think it's because she'll die if you stay together. Then your bond will be stronger after you make up. Well, there's a start!
