Today on Springer: Love Affairs
Jerry: Welcome to the show. Today we have affairs of stars from the country of Japan. First of all, I'd like you all to welcome Usagi
*Everyone claps. Usagi comes out and sits down*
Jerry: Welcome to the show Usagi. You're here to tell your boyfriend that you've been cheating on him
*Audience gasps and boos*
Usagi: Well not exactly. I just kissed him. I haven't done anything else
Jerry: Isn't anything romantic with someone but your lover cheating?
*Audience claps and chants "Jerry, Jerry"*
Jerry: Well let's bring him out. Here's Mamoru
*He comes out and sits next to Usagi. She looks at him*
Usagi: I have something to tell you Mamo-chan. I...I kissed another guy
Jerry: I think we have a clip. Here it is
*Mamoru turns away, audience boos*
Mamoru: Who is this guy?
Jerry: Let's bring him out. Here's Seiya!
*Seiya comes out with a rose and gives it to Usagi. Audience boos as he sits next to her*
Mamoru: That's my trademark you *beep*
*Goes over and punches Seiya, they get into a huge brawl. Usagi and the two big guys on the show pry them apart*
Seiya: Look, he left her when I started dating her
*Audience gasps*
Usagi: I never actually dated you!
Mamoru: I didn't leave her, I was being killed by that psycho woman Galaxia
Seiya: I did nothing wrong!
Jerry: I have someone here who knows Seiya has a little secret. Please welcome Yaten
*Yaten (in female form) comes out and sits next to Seiya*
Yaten: Seiya is a woman!
*Audience chants "Jerry, Jerry"*
Jerry: You look pretty convincing to me
Seiya: Well, *goes into entire "Save Princess Kakyuu" story*
Jerry: Let's bring out someone who has a big crush on Yaten
*Luna comes out*
Luna: I like you better as a guy, but oh well. Same person
Jerry: Now I know that Luna is in love with another cat. Let's bring him out. Please welcome Artemis
*Artemis comes out and attacks Yaten. They have to be pryed apart*
Jerry: Let's get back to Mamoru and Usagi. There are some more people who have liked Usagi. Let's welcome Prince Demando, Ail and Umino
*They come out and sit down*
Umino: I have gotten over my Usagi obsession. I am now dating a girl named Naru
*Audience claps*
Prince Demando: Well, I got over her since I kind of died
Ail: I am now back with my old girlfriend, my true love
*Audience claps*
*Mamoru is getting mad, but remains seated*
Jerry: Mamoru also has his share of suitors. Welcome Queen Beryl, Ann, Esmeraude, Setsuna and Chibi Usa
*They come out and sit down*
Usagi & Mamoru: PLUTO?!?
Setsuna: Look, I just think King Endymion is handsome okay, nothing more
*She blushes*
Ann: Well, I am currently seeing Ail, my true love. I am over Mamoru
*Audience claps*
Esmeraude: I shouldn't even be here. All I said was that he was handsome. Demando is the object of my affection
Demando: Since when?
Esmeraude: We were meant to be together!
Demando: Whatever *beep*
Esmeraude: Why you *beep*?!
*Almost entire dialouge is beeped out. Esmeraude and Demando are dragged offstage*
Jerry: Okay now back to our other guests. What's your story Beryl?
Beryl: Well in the Silver Millenium I loved Endymion, Mamoru's former self. But he did not love me, he loved Princess Serenity, that *beep* Usagi. So I killed Endymion because I didn't want anyone else to have him but me, then when we were all reborn, I swore vengence on Usagi. I've gone to counselling and now I'm doing much better. My new boyfriend's name is Edwardo
*Audience cheers*
Jerry: Now Chibi Usa, tell us your relationship with Mamoru
Chibi Usa: I'm his daughter. But it's just a crush! His future self is my father, not him. But look at him. He is hot!
Usagi: CHIBI USA! HE'S MINE!!!!!
*They get into a huge brawl, dialouge is once more bleeped out. They are dragged apart*
Jerry: But there is also another man in Chibi Usa's life. Here is Helios
*He comes out*
Helios: Look, I'm not dating her or anything. Sure I kissed her, but that doesn't mean I'm dating her
Chibi UsaWhy you?!!
*Chibi Usa begins to attack Helios, Usagi attacking her, everything goes nuts*
Jerry: Well that's all the time we have for today. Check us out next time when we have "People who want to take over the world"
After the show.....