Today on Springer: People who want to take over the world
Jerry: Welcome to the show everyone. Today's topic is people who want to take over the world. Our first guest is a returning guest. Let's welcome back Queen Beryl!
*She comes out, crying*
Beryl: That *beep* Sailor Moon ruined another one of my plans. It really makes you feel unwanted when people scream when you appear and..and *long line of beeped dialouge*
Jerry: We feel your pain. This girl named Sailor Moon has also foiled the plots of several other villians. Please say hello to Ail, Ann, Prince Demando and the Amazon Trio.
*Everyone comes out and sits down*
Ail & Ann: We're just trying to gather energy to stay alive and Sailor Moon resents that the stupid *beep*!
Jerry: So she's trying to kill you?
Ail: I don't think actually kill us, just stop us from terrorizing humans.
Ann: Humans need a little fear now and then anyway.
Jerry: Why not start a funhouse and gather energy from your customers?
*Audience claps*
Ail: That sounds good, but we don't have any money
Jerry: We can help you! Let's start a "Energy for the Aliens Fund" to get them started.
*Audience cheers*
Ann: Uh...thank you...I guess
Demando: What about my pain? I fell in love with Neo Queen Serenity while destroying her city. Sailor Moon is the same person. She rejected my love and stops my evil plots
Jerry: We could set you up with another girl
Demando: No one is as beautiful as Neo Queen Serenity
Jerry: I see. Please welcome Dr. Tomoe
*He comes out*
Tomoe: I have been working on cloning recently and I can clone Neo Queen Serenity. I can also change the clone's brainwaves to make her evil.
Demando: What's the catch? What do you want in return?
Tomoe: Well....I kind of miss those Winchells Donut Shops and you can time travel. So go to the past and get me some donuts! I like Bavarian filled and glazed. Also pick up a cappuchino while you're at it
Demando: OKAY!!
*Audience cheers*
Jerry: This is starting to sound like a Sally Jessy Raphael special. It doesn't have enough cussing and no one has strange interests and stuff. Now to the Amazon Trio. Welcome ladies
Amazon trio: Laides? We're guys!
Jerry: Ah, now it's starting to sound more like my show
Hawk Eye: They resent us just because we're trying to steal dream mirrors
Jerry: And why do you do that?
Fish Eye: Looking for the maiden who dreams of Pegasus
Tiger Eye: That horse has the secret to unlocking the golden crystal. It's basically a really powerful thingy our bosses want.
Hawk Eye: I want pineapple
Jerry: And Sailor Moon stops you?
Fish Eye: Yes, it's so frustrating. We never win!
Jerry: I feel your pain. Let's bring out some villians who have different heroes who foil their plans. Welcome Dr. Evil and his son Scott
*They come out*
Jerry: You two are stopped by a hero named...Austin Powers, the Internation Man of Mystery.
Dr. Evil: Yes, I even stole his mojo, but that didn't even work. Scott here thinks I'm an idiot
Scott: Well duh. You don't even think of just shooting the guy. Ever heard of a bazooka or machine gun or something?
Dr. Evil: See what I have to deal with? Scott, you have no sense of style. Just shut up you *beep* you don't know anything about being a villian
Scott: *All dialouge beeped*
*The Evils start cussing each other out*
Jerry: Okay, that's all the time we have today. Tune in next time as we view strange jobs
After the show.....