Confused Heart by Marj Notes: baka - fool/stupid/idiot ja ne - 'bye minna - everybody sayonara - good-bye sempai - elder/senior sensei - teacher okaa-san - mother otou-san - father Please e-mail your comments and constructive criticisms at . Thanks! Disclaimers: The characters of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon were created by Naoko Takeuchi-san, its copyright owned by Toei Animation, Kodansha, Nakayoshi, Sterling Animation Inc., and many other companies scattered throughout the world. Meaning, I cannot claim the characters as my own, and am mearly borrowing them. The characters Andy Spencer and Ayukawa Himeru are mine though. So please don't sue, as I don't earn anything from this other than the satisfaction of making a story. Chapter Ten: Rain, Headaches, Fever And Flus The next day, Usagi was not feeling very well. She felt really guilty on what had transpired the night before, and couldn't imagine what Andy could have been feeling right then. she scolded herself. Luna had asked her if everything had gone well, but Usagi couldn't respond. It seemed like she had run out of answers to all of the questions presented to her lately. She had been feeling so awful the entire day that she finally left the house to visit Andy and tell him personally that she was very sorry. Usagi had already thought of half of what she planned to say when the landlord of Andy's dormitory told her that he had gone out that day, leaving no message as to where his whereabouts would be. It had only made Usagi feel worse. The low, dark, and gloomy clouds were evident as she slowly made her way back home. Cold winds blew against Usagi's jacket, making her pull it closer to her body. She scowled. "Nice. The weather's agreeing with my sour mood." The clouds answered with a raindrop falling on her nose, followed by many more. Usagi ran to the nearest shelter which wasn't more than a few yards away. She leaned against a pillar and stared at the rain. She sighed. Minutes passed by. The rain continued to pour harder, subjecting Usagi to freezing weather. she asked herself. "Probably cuddled up in their warm houses laughing about what a mess I've made of my horrid life," Usagi said to no one in particular. A figure suddenly appeared in the distance, making its way slowly towards the shelter. It paused for a while, taking a long glance at the sole occupant of the shelter before deciding to accompany her. "Usagi-chan . . ." Usagi looked up. "Mina-chan! What are you doing out?" she asked as she watched Minako walk under the roof and close her umbrella. Minako stood beside her. "I did some errands for my okaa-san. She hasn't been feeling too good lately." She showed Usagi the grocery bags hanging from her free arm. "Is she okay?" Her friend shrugged. "I don't know. I hope so." A moment of silence. "It's raining cats and dogs, isn't it?" Minako asked. "It's a good thing I brought my umbrella." Usagi smiled. "You're lucky. All I brought was my jacket." Minako shivered. "It *is* kind of cold out. I should have brought mine, too." "Oh." "What were you doing out, Usagi? Went someplace?" "Yeah. To . . . to Andy's." Usagi stared at the ground. "I had to talk to him." "About what?" "To . . . apologize." Minako looked concerned. "Why is that? Did you cancel the date or something?" Usagi shook her head. "No. No, the date went on as planned." "So why?" "Well . . ." Usagi took a deep breath. "Something happened." Her companion raised an eyebrow. "Which is . . . ?" "He kissed me. A-and I kissed him back." Minako's eyes widened. They stared at each other for a while, then turned their gazes to the pouring rain. Sounds of huge raindrops battering the roof of the shelter filled their ears. People with umbrellas and raincoats scurried past them in a rush to reach their destination. Cars on the streets were suddenly reduced to a minimum, those who were driving were going slowly to prevent skidding on the slippery road. "Usagi-chan . . ." Minako said quietly. "We have to talk." Usagi looked at her expectantly, noticing that her eyes were distant and staring. "*Really* talk." Minako paused. "Do you like Andy?" Usagi bit her lip. "Forget about Ami's question. This is just about Andy. Do you like him, Usagi?" She stared at the wet ground, avoiding Minako's eyes. "No," she whispered. Then she looked up and said it louder. "No, I don't." She was surprised that she had managed to answer that question when it did not involve the other one. Minako looked at her sadly. "Then why did you do it? Why did you kiss him?" "I . . . I don't know! It just happened!" Usagi argued. "But you love Mamoru-san!" "I do! I'll never replace him in my life! I told Andy that!" "On the night of your date? Before you kissed him?" "Ye-" Usagi stopped in the middle of the word. Then she hung her head. "No." Minako shook her head sadly. "You've imitated him, Usagi." "Wha - ? Who?" Usagi asked, a confused expression on her face. Whatever it was that she had been expecting Minako to say, those words were not it. Her friend glared slightly at her, tears balancing at the rim of her eyes. "Don't you know what you did?! You led him on with that kiss, letting him think that he had a chance. When you once again revealed that he could never replace someone else in your life no matter what he did, it was too late!! The damage was already done! You've imitated *him*!! And you don't *know* just how much that hurts! The pain goes on for years and years . . . I should know. For it's the same pain that *I'm* still going through!" Usagi finally understood whom she had meant by "him." "Minako-chan . . ." she stammered softly. Minako wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. "Gomen. I'm just . . . I'm thinking about him again, I guess." She took Usagi's hands and gave her her umbrella, refusing to meet her gaze. "Forgive me." She suddenly ran from the dryness of the shelter and into the pouring rain. The rain quickly drenched her clothes, making her shiver. She could hear Usagi calling her name, begging her to come back. But she didn't listen. She had to get away. She had to. Usagi stared at Minako's running figure. She tried to call her back, to return her umbrella and to remind her that she didn't had a jacket on and that her house was farther away than her own. Usagi thought. And she continued staring at the pouring rain. ***** Elsewhere, a man entered his room in a dormitory. He threw his bag on the table and sat down on his bed, an airplane ticket in his hand. He smiled sadly. "I hope this makes her very happy," he said to himself. He had a few more days left. Then he would be heading home. The man tucked the ticket in his drawer. He laid his head on the pillow and fell asleep. ***** Come Monday morning, Juuban High School. Ami was sitting quietly at her desk, reading a few chapters in her book in advance. She heard the classroom door slide open. She looked up to see Spencer Andy, looking pained as if he was suffering from heartburn. Ami shook her head and returned to her book. she thought. Minutes later, it was Makoto who entered the room. Ami followed her with her head as the girl walked dreamily towards her desk, absentmindedly stumbling and bumping into a few chairs and tables. She looked as if she was lovesick. Ami thought fondly, smiling as she continued reading. Before the first bell rang, Usagi came in. The girl looked haggard and tired, like she hadn't slept for a few weeks. Ami speculated. The teacher came in after her and conducted the daily roll call. "Aikawa!" "Present!" "Aino!" No answer. "Aino!!" Ami looked at Minako's desk. She wasn't there. As a matter of fact, she wasn't in the room. "She's not here, sensei!" she announced. While the teacher marked her friend's attendance sheet, Ami started to wonder. <*What* is going on here?!> ***** Rei listened to Ami as she warned her of her observations early that morning. Sure enough, when they entered Rei's room, Rei found the lovesick awe and insomniac gaze of Makoto and Usagi respectively. She looked at Luna questioningly. The black cat just shrugged. She sat down on the wooden floor with Ami and gripped the sides of the low table with both hands. "Okay, minna! Spill it! What's with you?" Both girls sighed, one dreamily and one grumpily. Ami resisted the urge to giggle. "Aw, come on! What's with you two?" Rei asked again. When she got no answer, she rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. Makoto smiled widely, her green eyes distant. "I'm in love." Rei raised her right eyebrow. "You almost always say that." "It's different this time." Usagi frowned deeply, her blue eyes sulking. "I'm upset," she said. Rei raised her other eyebrow. "You almost always say that lately, too." "It's different this time." Rei started hitting her head on the table and had a temper tantrum. "Aaargh!!! You guys are *very* weird!!! Did you hear me?! Weird!" Ami stared at Rei. Now *she* was acting insane. What next? Luna sighed at Ami's almost vacant expression while staring at Rei. <*All* the senshi are acting up these days.> "All right, minna, you can tell us why one of you is in love and one of you is upset later. As of now, let's study, okay?" Ami said. She got two grunts and another dreamy sigh in reply. Ami sweatdropped. Some time later, while a half-hearted Usagi and a serious Ami were half-way through Usagi's English, a white cat entered the room by sliding the door open with his paws. "Artemis, didn't Mina ever teach you how to knock first before entering?" Luna asked. Artemis took his place beside her. "Do you honestly think that someone like Mina-chan even *knows* how to knock before entering?" he asked. Luna thought for a while. "Come to think of it, you're right." "I thought so." Makoto looked around. "By the way, where *is* Minako-chan, Artemis?" "Ami-chan said that she was absent from school today," Rei said. Artemis frowned. "That girl!! She thought she could brave the rain and ran home without an umbrella or jacket yesterday! She came in shivering and drenched because of it! She was coughing all day and has been feverish since this morning!" Usagi winced. "That wasn't very smart of her," Rei frowned. Artemis nodded. "I know. What's worse is that her okaa-san couldn't take care of her since she's been feeling sick herself. Aino-san went out on a business trip and won't be back until Wednesday." "Who's taking care of them then?" Makoto asked. "Their neighbors." The white cat sulked. "The funny thing is that Mina-chan's otou-san told her to take care of her okaa-san, not the other way around. If only she hadn't been out in the rain yesterday, none of this would have happened!" Usagi looked up from her English book and gave Artemis a tired and guilty look. "It wasn't her fault, Artemis. She gave me her umbrella yesterday because I wasn't carrying mine." "But couldn't she have accompanied you home with the umbrella instead? I do think that Mina knows enough to do that," Ami said. The blond-haired girl stared at the wooden floor. "She was very upset yesterday, that's why." Makoto raised her eyebrows. "Minako? Upset? With whom?" Usagi sighed again. "With me, I guess." "Why? What happened?" Luna asked. "She didn't think what I did was right. I don't think what I did was right, either." "What *did* you do?!" Rei demanded. "Don't leave us hanging!" Usagi told them everything that had happened two nights had passed. When she told them about the kiss, chaos erupted. Everybody started talking at once. The two cats stared at the commotion in front of them. "I think I'm going to get a headache . . ." Luna muttered. Artemis sighed. "Tell me about it. I've had one since this morning." "All right! All right!!" Usagi shouted, trying to calm her friends. "I know what I did was wrong, but I didn't mean for it to happen! It just did!" "Uh-huh. And I'm the Queen of England," Rei said. Usagi glared at Rei. "Fine! You don't have to listen to what I say!" "Well, maybe I don't!" "Minna, that's enough!" Luna scolded, standing up and jumping on the table to get between Usagi and Rei. "Now calm down and act like reasonable young ladies!" Rei snorted. "Tell that to her." Luna directed a menacing glare her way. "That's enough, Rei." Rei leaned back with her arms crossed. Usagi bowed her head. "Maybe Rei's right, Luna. Maybe I really meant for it to happen." "Usagi . . ." "No, really. Otherwise, I could have prevented it from taking place at all." Makoto looked at her worriedly. "Are you feeling guilty?" "I . . . I guess I am," Usagi admitted. Ami laid a hand on her shoulder. "Have you told Spencer-san that you don't really like him? Have you told him about how you feel for Mamoru-san?" Usagi shrugged. "Yeah. I told him from the very start that he didn’t stand a chance. But he still insisted." < When I told him again that night, it was too late. > Her blue-haired friend smiled. "So you have nothing to feel guilty about. You didn't cause any harm. And I'm sure Mamoru-san won't think that you've replaced him with someone else just because of a little date." Usagi recalled the sad, accusing eyes she saw that enabled her to break the kiss. She turned away from Ami. "I guess so . . ." she said in a small, uncertain voice. "Cheer up, Usagi! These problems won't last long, and neither will the time before Mamoru-san's finally home," Makoto assured her. "You'll be happy and in love again in no time!" Rei snapped her fingers. "You said something about falling in love earlier, Mako-chan?" The tall girl nodded eagerly and clasped her hands together. "He's a dream boat!" "Obviously. She's been lost in the clouds since earlier this morning!" Ami whispered to Rei. Usagi cast aside her troubles for a moment. "Have you met?" "Hmm? Of course we've met! You see, the great part here is that he's my new neighbor. And that he's going to *our* school! Not to mention he's single and uncommitted . . ." "What does he look like?" Rei asked. Makoto smiled widely as she envisioned her new friend. "Well, he has blond hair and blue eyes . . . actually, he reminds me of Minako. Hey Artemis, I don't suppose you know a cousin of Mina-chan's by the name of Ayukawa Himeru . . . ? She and Himeru-san looked so much alike, I could swear they're related." Artemis shook his head. "If that's the same person the two of you were babbling on about for hours on the phone a few days ago, no." "Oh, darn. And here I thought she was only bluffing." "As a matter of fact, I barely see or even know *any* of her cousins if she does have any. I'm never around during family gatherings." Artemis stood up. "Which reminds me. I have to get back home and see how she and her okaa-san are doing." "Okay," Ami said. "Tell her to get well soon!" The white cat nodded. "I will. Ja ne!" "Sayonara," the girls mumbled as Artemis jumped out of the open window. As soon as the cat's tail disappeared from sight, Makoto leaned forward and faced her friends. "So anyway, I invited him over to Crown's this Saturday so you can all meet him. You guys *have* to come! Think of it as a way to welcome him to Tokyo and Juuban High." "Where did he come from anyway?" Usagi asked. Makoto frowned. "I don't know. I didn't ask. But he said it's a bit far away." "We'll be happy to meet the guy who finally made our Makoto happy, right Ami-chan?" Rei said, winking at Ami. Ami just blushed. Usagi smiled a bit. She let her finger work out something on the table, only to realize that she had spelled out a name. She rested her arms on the table, one on top of the other, and laid her right cheek on top.