Confused Heart by Marj Author's notes: The end of Confused Heart!! Yeey!! (twirls around and dances). This chapter was actually done a while back, but I was not very happy with it, so my imouto Kismet-chan told me to be myself and make it end my way (Umm . . . am I making sense? After all, only Kismet-chan, Chibi-Imp and I know what the last few senteces of the real ch. 15 was . . . *^^*). Yeah. Whatever. Special thanks to Kismet-chan for editing the entire fic for me! I hope you're having a very happy vacation with your family, and come back safely, okay??!? Also, domo arigato gozaimasu to Small Angel for writing and finally making me feel like finishing this before I focus on my studies again (lucky I didn't have any classes when I finished this chapter!). I'm still not proud of it, but I am feeling a lot better about it now. You can read the first book of Planet Bound after this - after all, I made this story just to serve as an introduction. And things went a bit haywire afterwards . . . Oh, well, I'm not going to keep you any further. Enjoy the last chapter! Other notes: arigato - thank you daijoubu - are you all right? / I'm all right gomen - sorry ittai - ouch ja ne! - see you! konnichiwa - hello / good afternoon tomodachi - friend Please e-mail your comments and constructive criticisms at . Thanks! Disclaimers: The characters of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon were created by Naoko Takeuchi-san, its copyright owned by Toei Animation, Kodansha, Nakayoshi, Sterling Animation Inc., and many other companies scattered throughout the world. Meaning, I cannot claim the characters as my own, and am mearly borrowing them. The characters Andy Spencer and Ayukawa Himeru are mine though. So please don't sue, as I don't earn anything from this other than the satisfaction of making a story. Chapter Fifteen: Mending Hearts Time seemed to pass by slowly for Usagi. It had been more than a week since she and Mamoru had agreed to break up for a while, yet it seemed as if it had only been a day. She had told her friends that their relationship was over, and this shocked them, but she didn't give them the full details. Nor did they try to pry. They knew that she needed time to think it over and let her broken heart heal. She had cried every night, but after almost four days the tears won't come anymore. It was time for her to stop pitying herself for all the errors she had committed and to go out and finally accept the truth. But no matter how hard she had cried, it still hurt. One day, Usagi asked to be excused from studying at Rei's house. She just didn't feel like studying, and she was certain that no matter how hard Ami tried, nothing was going to enter her brain. Ami understood though, being the kind and caring friend that she was, and said that she would just devote the time normally spent for her to helping Minako catch up with some topics that still needed explaining. While Usagi was walking home, she heard someone calling her name from a distance. She turned around and saw Andy running towards her, waving his hand so that he could catch her attention. She gave him a small smile. Usagi thought. Andy stopped beside her. "Hi!" he said, catching his breath. Usagi bowed her head slightly. "Konnichiwa, Andy! What can I do for you?" He shrugged. "Nothing, really. I just wanted to walk with you, that's all." "Oh." They walked slowly in a comfortable silence. Andy looked worriedly at Usagi. He had no idea as to what had been happening to her for the past few days since he had met her boyfriend at Crown, but he knew that for some reason, she was sad again. He couldn't understand it - he thought her boyfriend made her happy. What other reason could make her love him so much even though they were so far apart? Yet, if that was true, then why was Usagi depressed now? He heard her sniff. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Daijoubu?" Usagi nodded. "Daijoubu." she noted, taking out her handkerchief. "You sure? Not just today. I mean . . . Usagi, is something wrong?" Andy asked hesitantly. She didn't answer. She just kept walking. "Remember? I'll be here when you need me. You need me now. I can help you." <"I can help you." Funny how that "help" turned out to be something else,> Usagi thought bitterly. Andy had had enough. "Usagi," he said, roughly grabbing her arm. "Itai! You're hurting me!" Usagi said, shrugging his hand away. "I'm sorry. But I can't take more of this. You *know* that even though I lost, I still care for you." He didn't dare touch her anymore, but he looked into her eyes. "I don't know where Mamoru has been for the past few days since you were down like this, nor what he has been doing, but even though I know that he would probably make you happier than I can, the least I can do is try. As your friend." "Andy . . ." Usagi started hesitatingly, tears welling up in her eyes once more. "Andy . . ." He slowly brought his arms around her in an embrace. "Shh . . . shh . . ." he said softly. "Andy, everything has gone horribly wrong!" Usagi cried. "I . . . I told him about what had happened the other night . . . and . . . and . . ." "He got mad?" "Worse!! Andy . . . we . . . we had a fight and we broke up!!" Usagi sobbed louder and cried harder on Andy's chest. "And it's all my fault! I didn't want to tell him immediately because he had trusted me so much that I thought I would wait until he wouldn't be too disappointed when I told him . . ." He held her even closer as she continued to cry. "I . . . I love him, Andy! I still do! He gave everything to me just to make me happy, but all I did was make him miserable!" "You did not!" Andy protested, letting go of the embrace and holding Usagi at an arm's length in front of him. "You never made anyone's life miserable, Usagi! Your heart was just confused then. That's why you went out with me - that's why you kissed me! If anyone's to blame, it's me. If I hadn't interfered, if I hadn't been too selfish, then maybe both of you would have never fought in the first place! Listen to me . . . Listen to me!!" Andy made Usagi face him after she started to look away. "Don't you ever think that this is your fault, okay? You did nothing wrong. You wanted to do the right thing by trying to find a way to lessen the pain of knowing! Only, it didn't turn out well." "That's exactly it! It didn't turn out well! And now he hates me and he probably thinks I hate him and . . ." Usagi ended up in Andy's arms again. "I want him back! I want him back!!" she wailed, her pain evident in her voice. There was nothing more he could do, and nothing more he could say. Andy bit his lip. He felt himself enveloped by guilt. He knew that Usagi would have been much happier if he had just listened to her from the very start. But he hadn't. He scolded himself. What's left is to move forward and hope that things will turn out for the best. ***** In Juuban High School, two days later. Usagi had barely passed the door leading inside her classroom when she saw it. A white rose, removed of its thorns, sitting on top of her desk. She held it in her hands and stared at it, knowing exactly who it had come from. She smiled, knowing that it was someone's way of trying to make her happy. she thought sadly. She looked up and found Andy staring at her. She shook her head slowly. She was not ready to have someone new. Andy smiled at her gently anyway before returning to his notebooks. Usagi suddenly found herself feeling nervous about him again. Instead of crushing the flower like she had done to the first yellow rose, though, she carefully hid it so that she would be able to place it in a vase when she got home. The following day, as she had expected, there was a yellow rose. But this time, there was a note attached to it - one that Usagi showed to her friends right after school that day. ""Go to that place where the Starlight Tower used to stand at 5:00 P.M. today. I'm begging you - please come. Signed, Andy"," Makoto recited from the note. She, Usagi, Ami, Minako and Himeru were still inside their classroom, all in their seats. Through some stroke of luck, Himeru had ended up in the same class as theirs, and was given the empty seat next to Minako's and right beside the window. In fact, Himeru and Minako were grouped together with other students for a project and were about to attend their first meeting when Usagi came up and asked for advice. "So, should I go, or not?" Usagi asked. Makoto folded the note and handed it back to her. "What do you think? Are you prepared to replace him?" she asked. Usagi slowly shook her head. "No." "Then don't go. Your heart is still devoted to someone else." "But it would be a bit rude to have him wait there for Usagi to come," Ami said thoughtfully. "Well, then one of us will have to go and tell him that she won't come," Makoto suggested. Minako shook her head. "Actually, I think it would be much better if Usagi told Andy-san herself that he still has no chance. Better to tell him the truth now than to let him find out by himself again. It'll hurt less." Usagi looked at Minako and gave her a gentle smile. "Right . . . I'll go." Himeru looked at his watch. "Better go, then. It's almost five." Ami, Makoto and Minako embraced Usagi as they started to leave. "Good luck," Ami said. "Don't worry. Things will turn out right again," Makoto added. Minako nodded in agreement. "Somehow. Someday. Some way." ""Some way"? Isn't that almost the same as "somehow"?" Himeru asked. "Yeah, well . . . oh, never mind." "Arigato, minna," Usagi said, looking at each of her friend's smiling faces. The only person that was missing was Rei. She had a lot to be thankful for with friends like them. If only there was some way to repay them for patiently helping with every problem that she encountered . . . She suddenly felt Makoto pushing her towards the door. "Go on, girl! You don't want to be late!" she said. "Right! I'll be seeing you! Ja ne!" Usagi waved good-bye and ran out of the classroom, out of the building, out of the campus, and down to Starlight Tower, where Andy was waiting. ***** Usagi thought as she drew closer, able to make out the young man's black hair and the back of his white school uniform. She stopped a few meters behind him, leaning on her knees and trying to catch her breath. She looked at her watch and groaned. <5:10?! No matter how fast you try to run, you *still* end up late!> Usagi thought. When she was able to breathe evenly, she straightened up slowly and looked at Andy. He was looking out into the sea, holding a bouquet of red roses in his arms. Usagi felt terrible. She cleared her throat. "Umm . . . Andy?" No response. "I'm sorry I'm late. I had to talk to my friends and . . ." Usagi stopped. It was time to stop making excuses and head straight to the point. Now, where to begin? "Andy . . . we talked about this the other day. That, even though my boyfriend and I broke up, my feelings still remain the same. I love him. I'm not prepared to replace Mamo-chan. My heart still belongs to him." "I know that you love me, and I know that you're trying to do your best to make me as happy as he does, but . . . nobody else can make me smile, nobody else can make me laugh like he can. I could talk to him about just about anything. When he knew that I was upset, he would do *anything* in his willpower just to make me see that there is still hope in the world. You see, he's not only a loved one. He is a part of my circle of friends." "You may not believe this, but he has already sacrificed his life for me. And even though he loved me so much, he had unselfishly given me the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do during his absence. Now, I cannot see why I was so upset when he told me this, since now I know that this was an act of pure love. Perhaps I was thinking too much of myself." "I can't stand leading you on any longer and watch you get hurt again in the end. Please know that you will always be my friend, but you can never be my love, no matter how much the two of you look alike. I can even differentiate the two of you now!" "You'll find someone else, someday. But for us . . . please, let things stay as they are now. Please . . ." The whole time Usagi talked, Andy did not turn around to face her. Now she could see that his stiff shoulders suddenly became loose and relaxed as he sighed. "I understand," Andy said. "I know that you love him. But I'm not here to tell you that I have plans on courting you again." Usagi was staring at the ground when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Andy's gently smiling face. "No, I wanted you here for something else." Usagi asked wordlessly. Andy stepped aside. Usagi's eyes widened. The man who was looking out into the sea was not Andy after all. It was Mamoru. "You came late and you apologized again," Mamoru said softly, a small smile on his face. His eyes were obviously wet. "You're always forgiven . . . remember?" Usagi felt her tears well up again. She wanted to hug him so badly, but she resisted. She stood there, shaking like a leaf, trying to stop herself from crying. She wiped her tears again and again, trying to bring them to a halt, but they went on as though a dam had broken and released everything that was hiding within. She had a beautiful smile, but the contours of a crying face constantly threatened to collapse it. Knowing that Usagi would probably never move from where she was standing, Mamoru walked towards her and gave her a warm and loving hug. "My heart belongs only to you, too," he whispered, his voice quivering because of his own tears. By then, Usagi had started to cry in earnest. Mamoru lifted his head from Usagi's head to look at Andy, who was standing a few meters away. "Arigato, tomodachi . . ." he mouthed. Andy sighed as he stared at Usagi and Mamoru. He saw Mamoru say "thank you", so he tipped the baseball cap that he was wearing and smiled. Deciding that there was nothing more he could do, he walked away, leaving the couple alone. Mamoru watched as the man responsible for everything he and Usagi had been through disappeared in the distance. Then he cupped Usagi's chin in his hand and gently tilted her head up. "Hi," he said. Usagi stared at his face, noting the tears that also fell down from his eyes. "You're crying," she said with a small laugh, raising her hand to wipe them away. "You never . . . ~sniff~ . . . do that." Her boyfriend closed his eyes when he felt her touch and shook his head. "That's not true . . . Besides, you're crying, too." "I can't help it! I thought . . . I thought . . ." Mamoru held her close again and laid his head on her blond hair, inhaling deeply, taking in her scent. "You thought that this time, we would never get back together again." Usagi grinned through her tears. "Don't I always?" "Remember when you said that I make you happy . . . did you mean it?" "Of course I do!" Mamoru frowned. "All I ever seemed to have done was make your life miserable." Usagi shook her head. "Never! That was me!" "Iie," Mamoru disagreed. "You make everyone's life joyful. That's what makes you so special." "Not everybody . . ." Usagi said, thinking about Andy. Andy, who had not tried to hurt her but to only make her happy. But he had, actually. He had brought Mamoru and her back together again when he realized how much he meant to her. she thought, remembering the flowers he kept giving her just to cheer her up. "Ne, Mamo-chan?" "Nani?" "Where are my roses?" Mamoru, laughing, let her go, and handed her the bouquet of roses, which was being held by the hand that had found its place on her back. "Happy?" Usagi buried her face inside the bouquet as she smelled the flowers. "Always." Her boyfriend kissed her forehead. "Come here . . ." The young couple wandered hand in hand to the guardrail that separated the earth from the sea. "How did you know I was coming, Mamo-chan?" Usagi asked as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Andy called." She tilted her head slightly so that she could see Mamoru's face though her head was still lying on his shoulder. "He did?" "Hmm. He called this morning so that he could scold me." Mamoru chuckled, remembering what Andy's voice had sounded like as he rattled at him on the phone like some deranged father. "You would have thought that it was your father who called me, not him." "What did he say?" "He thought I was mad for breaking up with you. He told me that no insane person would ever separate from a person like you. Andy told me what you felt, what you had told him, and made me feel more terrible than I already did." Usagi placed her roses in the crook of her arm and touched Mamoru's arm with her free hand. "Gomen . . ." "I know I deserved it, though. I didn't want to believe him - I kept denying everything that he had said. Especially since I thought I didn't deserve someone special like you." His girlfriend frowned. "But you do! You're a special person, too! Not anybody can get the Crown Prince of Earth as her boyfriend, you know!" Mamoru laughed. "And then he told me that I'd better come here today on the dot or he and hundreds of others will try and take you away!" "Andy already did, but he didn't succeed." "I know." He nodded. "But still, I can't stand the thought of you with another guy. So I did the only thing I could think of to do - follow him." Usagi raised her head. They both leaned forward on the guardrail, looking at the horizon where the sun was about to set. "Are you . . ." She bit her lip. "Are you happy with your decision?" "Happy? I'm overjoyed!" "So are we back together again?" Mamoru stood up straight and paused as he stared at her blue eyes. "Let's do this more formally, okay?" Usagi looked confused. "How?" "Well, when we became a couple, we didn't exactly go through courting, you know. We just ended up together when we found out that we were meant to be." Usagi started to smile widely. "I get it. So we *really* start from the beginning!" Mamoru nodded again. "But take note that if I court you, we *definitely* shouldn't kiss. And we shouldn't embrace either." "Aww . . ." Usagi whined. "Then what *can* we do?" Her boyfriend winked at her. "We could always hold hands." Usagi looked dubious. "Are you sure we wouldn't look like a couple that way?" Mamoru shrugged. "Hey, I've never really courted anybody before, you know! I don't really know. Besides, if I don't get even just that one privilege until we're officially a couple again, I don't know how long I would last before I start begging you to give me an answer!" Usagi giggled. "I don't know how long I would last, either." The young couple stared at each other until Mamoru tightly squeezed the hand that was entwined with his own. They then resumed watching the sunset. They had been standing there in silence for quite some time before one of them started speaking again. “Do you remember the time . . .” Usagi started, “ . . . a few years back, when Zoisite and Kunzite had us trapped inside the Starlight Tower?” Mamoru smiled at the memory. “Hmm. That was the time when I found out that you’re Sailormoon and you found out that I was Tuxedo Kamen.” “It’s kind of appropriate, don’t you think? That we made up on the exact same location where that awful incident happened. Funny how bad memories could be replaced by better ones.” Her boyfriend shrugged. “I guess we owe both Andy and Zoisite for that.” Usagi bowed her head, her memories returning to the past. “Yet . . . I still can’t stop thinking about it . . . when he stabbed you, and I . . . I didn’t know what to do.” Her voice started to quiver. “I thought you were dead . . .” “But I’m not.” Mamoru went behind her and held her shoulders. “Usagi, if that had not happened, we would not have known our past. That you were Serenity and I was Endymion.” "We never would have know that we were meant to be together . . ." Usagi held one of the hands that was touching her shoulders. "But still . . ." "It had hurt to know that you had lost the one you had just found out that you loved," Mamoru said for her. "Promise me, Mamo-chan . . ." Usagi turned around to face him. "Promise me once more that you will never die on me again." "As you promise me the same thing." "And that we'll never have a fight like this ever again." "Never," Mamoru agreed. "Let's stop dwelling on the past, Usako. Let's look forward to our future." Usagi smiled. "A very happy future . . ." Two pairs of eyes once again stared at each other, searching for the endings of their partner's deep, love-filled eyes. Heads tilted, hearts thumping loudly, their bodies slowly moved forward until their lips met, sharing a long, passionate kiss, forgetting all the while that they were not supposed to do so. The sun was completely gone, and the moon was high up in the sky, blessing the couple with its soft, warm glow. And somewhere else, a woman's sigh could be heard, relieved, contented . . . and happy.