By Kebinu
 
 

10. Girls: Your date shows up covered up like Lawrence of Arabia, and when you ask why, he tells you he “just hasn’t been the same” since he got turned into a chimera.

9. Guys: After she rattles off a 15-minute diatribe about peace and justice, you tell your date she’s pretty opinionated. She says her friends usually just say “Shut up, Amelia.”

8. Girls: He’s got a purple mop top, his eyes are almost always closed, and he’s grinning for no apparent reason.

7. Guys: The hot blonde you’re dating seems to be playing footsie with you. To confirm, you sneak a peek under the table, whereupon you discover that’s not her foot brushing your leg, but rather her big, yellow tail.

6. Guys: You’ve been to every restaurant in the tri-state area—and your date STILL hasn’t finished eating.

5. Girls: Your date asks you if you’d like to see his “sword of light.”

4. Girls: When the waitress asks your date what he’s going to order, he jumps out of his seat, shouts “That is a secret!” and smacks her on the head with his staff.

3. Guys: You find yourself wondering, “Who would name their kid ‘Sylphiel’, anyway?”

2. Guys: Her first question: “If the monstrous Zoamelgustar thought you were bad for me, would you be intimidated?”

1. Guys: In the middle of the meal, your date’s archenemies show up—and two minutes later, the restaurant’s been Dragon-Slaved into bite-size pieces and you’re running for your lives from the angry owner.