The sunlight streams through the lace curtains of the French double doors that lead out onto my private balcony, but I have no desire to step outside and let the airy gold warm my face.  No, the shadowy security of my room suits my soul at this moment.  My eyes gaze around the all to familiar room, lingering on the small touches that I've added over the past twenty years to make this room totally my own.  The one time that He was here he made the comment, half under his breath but I still heard him, that this room was saturated with my presence.  He never said anything about it to me, though, so I figured it was unimportant and let it slide to the recesses of my mind.

 Now, as I continue my lazy study of my room, the meaning behind his words come to my mind.  Anyone who would come to my room could not say it was impersonal, it was blatantly obvious that someone lived in this room and made it their home; someone with a great love of life and everything life had to offer.  Kind of ironic considering that I'm hiding from life at the moment.

 The cute trinkets and random souvenirs from different adventures literally litter every table top and open space that was available.  Most of the souvenirs were gifts from Daddy when he used to travel around, but quite a few are from my own personal adventures with Lina-san and the others.

 I get up from my bed and patter barefooted over to one of my book cases, gazing at the gold embossed titles that trip eagerly along the spines of various tomes of ancient magic and modern justice stories.  Then my eye is caught by something laying near a book of Shamanism magic, or maybe I was always staring at that particular trinket and only pretended to be looking at the book titles.  I reach out and pick up a solitary blue ball, playing with the pink and purple ribbon that dangles from the star studded bauble.  He had the other one.

 I sigh and replace the wristband where I had gotten it from.  I hadn't seen Lina-san and Gourry-san for four years, and I haven't seen Zelgadis-san in twice as long.

 I groaned.  Damnit, why does he have to make an appearance in my thoughts NOW?!  I had gotten so good over the years at keeping thoughts of Zelgadis-san out of my mind for the most part.  Sure, he has a way of creeping back in when I'm unguarded, especially at night, but it's rare for him to be on my mind first thing in the morning.  I have other, more important things to think about, more so now that Grandfather has died and Daddy is now Kind of Saillune; thus making me the official Crown Princess of Saillune and next in line for the throne.  Not to mention that today of all days should be focused on a more important matter than an old crush, because it's my wedding day.

 When I think back over the last eight years, I'm surprised that it's taken this long to marry me off.  I mean, a princess, not to mention a crown princess, is a very valuable pawn in the game that is played out between neighboring kingdoms.  My fellow noble women have already been married more than four years, and in a few cases some were married the same year I had my first real adventure with Lina-san and the others.  It sounds odd, but that's the way it is.

 In one sense, a prince would have more leverage in the game, but the princess is the one with the real power because we have the choice of turning down an undesired proposal for various reasons, especially if we feel like the pending marriage will be damaging to the kingdom in one way or another.  My father, and when I think about it Martina too, are different in that they ignored the traditional way of doing things and married "commoners."  I would have gladly followed in their footsteps, only . . . .  NO!  I'm not going to allow myself to think along those lines.

 I turn away from the bookcase and pad quietly over to the large four poster bed that dominates the room, and sat down on the edge.  I couldn't have timed it better, for the door opened and Marie entered the room quietly, a breakfast tray in her hands.  She turned and then gave a start when she saw me sitting on the edge of my bed.

 "Oh, Amelia Hime, good morning!" she said as she walked over and set the breakfast tray down on the table next to the bed.  She then strode across the room to throw back the lacy curtains and allowed the morning light to stream fully into the room and chase away the shadows from the corners, but not my soul.

 "Oh, Hime, the entire castle is excited about the upcoming ceremony!  And you're marrying such a handsome, kind and considerate young man," Marie prattled as she went around dusting the already clean shelves.  I inspected the tray and despite the wonderful smells wafting up from the covered plate, I had no appetite.  Instead I settled for a morning cup of tea, smiling as memories of Filia-san and her constant companion of tea filtered through my mind.  I remember asking her once what the large baubles on the sides of her head was for, and she calmly replied, "I have to carry my tea around with me somehow, not everything fits underneath my cloak."

 "Don't you think the prince is the most handsome and even tempered young man?" Marie asked, breaking into my thoughts.  Figures she'd ask that, all the servants wanted to know what my intended looked like.

 I took a sip from my cup, and replied, "I wouldn't know, I've never laid eyes on the man before."

 "Well, it's said that he's the most kind hearted man," Marie prattled on to hid her disappointment, and not noticing my discontent.

 "Don't believe everything you hear," was my barely audible response.

 "And he must be a great gentleman if he's as handsome as the rumors lead us to believe," she enthused.

 "Don't make rash judgments based on appearances," was my quiet reply.

 Lina-san and the others had been the ones to teach me that, I reflected as I tuned Marie out and my memories in.  Of course, my first lesson had been that you should never believe what other people say.  That lesson was hammered home when Vrumagun and Zangalus told me that Lina-san and Gourry-san were both bad guys. I learned my mistake pretty quickly, and a bit destructively, that they were wrong and Lina-san and Gourry-san were the good guys.  Well, good guys with a large area of grey.

 Marie continued to talk as she bustled around and got my hair and face ready for the wedding.  The dress would be the last thing to go on, and I'm only thankful that I was able to get my way in regards to it's design.  It was a very simple and elegant dress; the bodice was a form fitting, strapless affair made of crushed velvet bleached the purist white, while layers upon layers upon layers of a light, gauzy material formed the floor length skirt.  I stood and allowed Marie to slip the dress on and then zip it up in the back.  The skirt billowed and swayed as I moved to once again sit at my vanity, and Marie began once again to work on my hair while I studied my face critically in the mirror.  It was amazing how much had changed in the last eight years.  My eyes were as blue and innocent looking as always, but my face had lost it's girlish shape and had thinned down a bit, giving my cheekbones a higher appearance while making my eyes appear less wide than they had when I was younger.  There was nothing that could be changed about my hair, however, unless I let it grow totally out.  But I like it in the short style it's in, where it sweeps out to frame my face in a cloud of darkness.

 I watched as Marie fussed around with the tiara and veil that was going to sit on my head, carefully arranging the lacy material just so before setting the tiara directly in the center of my hair.  The tiara itself was a very complex thing.  It was made of the purest gold Saillune had to offer, with no gems studding it's frame, yet the gold was molded into a complex mash of mountains and valleys with the occasional twirly bit added in for variety.  I think the goldsmith went a little overboard on it, but I do have to admit that with the veil hiding some of it, the tiara isn't as bad as I first thought.  Goes to show once again that appearances can be deceiving.

 Zelgadis-san is the one who taught me that you should never judge a book by its cover.  I still get a little embarrassed when I think about my rather rude reaction to his first appearance among our little group.  I was so young and inexperienced then, that anything that was "different" from what was the norm up until then was regarded with suspicion and a little disgust in some cases, like that golem that Eris had me fight prior to Zelgadis-san's dramatic entrance.  After Lina-san fussed at me about judging a book by it's cover, I decided to hold off my opinion of Zelgadis-san until I had gotten a chance to know him better.  What I saw over the next few days weren't very convincing in his favor.  He was cold, ruthless, rude upon occasion, abrupt, and didn't seem to care all that much about his comrades and friends at times.  It was only when he risked himself to shield Sylphiel-san when Lina-san was hurt and she was taking her to heal her that I saw a different side to him.  That's when my opinion of him did a 180 and continued to change all throughout the fight with Kopii, until I felt comfortable enough to issue a friendly invitation to come with me and Daddy back to Saillune to see if we could look in the libraries for his cure.

 Marie fussed a little more with my hair, but there really isn't much you can do with it because it stays in that flared out style all the time.  I felt a small smile tug at my lips when I saw what she had done with the veil.  It originally reached down past my ankles, but Marie had taken it and doubled it back on itself, then tucked it into the tiara in such a way that it poofed out a little above the tiara's peak, and then cascaded down to mid waist in a fall of clouds that added a nice contrast to the darkness of my hair.  She made a move to lift part of the veil over my face, but I stopped her with a movement.

 "Don't you want to follow tradition, Hime?" Marie ask.

 "No, I'm going into a future that's uncertain, and I want to face it without anything clouding my vision," I replied.

 Marie nodded as if she understood, then asked me to stand up and turn to face her so that she could see what the full effect of her efforts were.  Judging by the way her eyes started to shine, I think that she was very successful.  I walked over and studied myself in a full length mirror, and I was more than pleased at the effect the gown and veil created.  The gown itself hugged my figure, showing off my shoulders and the tops of my breasts, while flaring out gently at the hips.  The skirt would mould itself to the shape of my legs and then fall back as I moved, giving me an almost seductive yet innocent impish look.

 I wish that Zelgadis-san was the one waiting for me at the alter.  My eyes widened when that thought filtered through my head, and I almost staggered as the truth of it finally made itself known.  Oh, I had known for years that I felt something for Zelgadis-san that went beyond friendship, but I never thought that I had actually wanted to commit my life to him.  I walk over to the vanity and once again sit down in order to allow Marie to slip the open toed heels on my feet, and I pondered what I had just realized.

 I suppose I first began to notice that something was different about my feelings towards Zelgadis-san during the whole Phibritzo/Garv incident, especially when we were in the city of Famile and he was chasing after the so-called Princess.  I got cranky, and even snapped at Lina-san in a very loud and unlike me manner.  Looking back I realize that I was jealous, and I couldn't believe how shameless Zelgadis-san was being in his behavior.  Then Saygram attacked me, and I vaguely remember hearing Zelgadis-san's voice calling my name as the intense pain brought about the blessed darkness.  Then there was the time Garv attacked me, and Zelgadis-san leapt between us and took the full force of a blow that would have severed me in half.  Of course there's also the time I "died" at the hands of Phibritzo, and Zelgadis-san rushed over to pick me up and call to me.  Even then, all I wanted to do was reassure him that I was all right and he didn't need to worry.  He always did have a very strong protective streak where the female members of our little part was concerned.

 I giggled to myself as I imagined Zelgadis-san striding into the Temple after the Priest had asked for reasons why we shouldn't get married, and loudly proclaiming that I couldn't get married because he loved me and I loved him.  Zelgadis-san always did know how to make an entrance, even though it always seemed that he didn't do it consciously, but sometimes I wonder.  The first time I saw him, he was flying through a window and throwing a knife at the same time.  I know it wasn't deliberately dramatic, but it certainly had an effect on me.  Then there was the time he made an appearance after Lina-san blasted the Xoana castle to get both me and the book at the same time.  He had casually jumped off of his block of mortar . . . and then executed a perfect back flip before landing.  A very unnecessary back flip, but it did add a bit of a dramatic flare to his entrance.

 I guess my feelings for him didn't change as rapidly as I thought they had.  I can't recall the exact moment just being near him set my heart at peace, or when his tall mysterious figure began to haunt my dreams.  It just feels like he's always been there, in the back of my mind, supporting me, talking to me, giving me encouragement.  I wonder if Lina-san's feelings for Gourry-san changed as unknowingly as mine did.  Knowing those two, they probably fell in love at first sight and refused to admit it to themselves or each other.  It always drove me crazy that two people who cared so much for each other could be so OBLIVIOUS to their feelings while everyone else could see it as plain as day.

 "Amelia?" there came a knocking on the door, and Lina-san poked her head in when I asked her to come in.  "Oh wow, Amelia, that dress looks great on you!"

 "Thank you, Lina-san.  That's all, Marie, you may go now, and thank you."

 "My pleasure, Hime.  I can't wait for the ceremony!" Marie gushed as she left the room, and Lina-san closed the door after her.

 "You look wonderful, yourself, Lina-san," I said.

 "Thanks!" Lina-san replied, twirling a bit to show off the flare that the dress she was wearing had.  It was an emerald green color, with a scalloped style neckline and spaghetti straps that were studded with gems of the same color.  The empire waist helped to give the illusion that Lina-san was at least a good three inches taller than she actually was, while also helping to give her a more busty look with the way her breasts were pushed up by the style of the dress.  The skirt flowed down from the waist-line to stop within a half inch of the floor, allowing a saucy peek at the heels she wore underneath.  I had sent someone to the room that she and Gourry-san was sharing to do her hair, and the effect was stunning.  The fiery mass had been swept back from her face, unruly bangs included, and confined in an elegant French Twist, while little streamers of her hair had been pulled out and meticulously curled to frame her face and tease her shoulders with their presence.  Earrings the color of clear glass dripped from her lobes, while a diamond teardrop pendant hung around her neck.  Lina-san was beautiful, the happy glow that had surrounded her ever since she and Gourry-san finally got married four years ago hadn't diminished, and continued to give her an almost ethereal air.  I felt a sharp pang of jealousy attack my stomach, and squelched it ruthlessly as I led her over to my bed and we both sat down on it's edge.

 "So, Amelia, how are you feeling?  It's the big day," Lina-san said cheerfully.

 "I guess I'm feeling all right," I replied, knowing what Lina-san was going to say, and actually hoping she would, because there were a few things I wanted to say in return.

 "Aw, come on, Amelia, cheer up!  You're marrying a man who's said to be incredibly handsome and nice, while being the Crown Princess of Saillune at the same time.  Life's pretty good for you, not much stress at all."

 I knew she would say that.  "Lina-san," I said quietly, "You're wrong."

 "Huh?"  her gem colored eyes blinked in confusion.

 "My mother was assassinated when I was five years old, when it was supposed to be my older sister Gracia who was to be killed.  Gracia left the castle because she couldn't stand what she had seen, and for years I was led to believe by Daddy that Gracia had actually run away instead of leaving with Daddy's permission.  Daddy's always traveling around in secret, leaving me to constantly worry about his safety because quite frankly Daddy isn't very secretive nor is he inconspicuous.  When I first met you and Gourry-san, my Uncle Randy was trying to kill my father and take over the throne, meaning that he would have tried to kill me eventually, as well.  Then my Cousin Alfred tries to kill both Daddy and myself, while framing his own father for the deed.  I'm constantly on my guard whenever I have to leave the country on a diplomatic mission because one wrong word or deed could start a war when my purpose was to negotiate peace.  I was constantly being bombarded by proposals of marriage and some illicit affairs by young and old men alike who wanted to use me to get a foothold into the kingdom.  I'm marrying a man I've never seen before in my entire life, yet it's expected that I make a life with him when I don't even know him.  Yes, my rank does privilege me in many ways, but at the same time I would give anything to be able to wander around the world like you and Gourry-san, not to mention marrying the man I love."  I stopped when I said that, shocked that I had let it slip out.  Lina-san was staring at me, her eyes very wide and nearly taking over her entire face.

 "A-Amelia, I'm sorry, I never realized," she began, but I stopped her with a shake of my head.  "It's all right, Lina-san"

 "The man you love," Lina-san said after a short pause, "It's Zel, isn't it?"

 I looked into her eyes and then lowered my own the floor, which was the only acknowledgement she needed.

 "I thought as much, but it was your own personal business and I didn't want to get involved when it was obvious you didn't realize it yourself," she said, and I looked at her sharply.  "Oh come on," Lina-san laughed, "You don't think Gourry and I were the only ones who were obvious to everyone else but ourselves, now did you?"  She suddenly sobered.  "We tried to find him for you, when we heard that you were going to be married, but we couldn't locate him.  The last thing we heard about him was that he was on his way to the other side of the continent to track down an ancient temple that was rumored to have been built by the first followers of Ceipheed.  We left a message and asked them to try and deliver it to him, but who knows if it'll actually get to him in time."

 "Thank you, Lina-san, for trying," I said softly, knowing that she understood the deeper meaning behind my words.

 "Think nothing of it, that's what friends are for, right?" Lina-san asked with a wink, then stood up and stretched.  "Well, Gourry's going to be picking me up in a few minutes, and I think Phil was right behind him.  You know, Amelia," she looked at me, her eyes serious, "Anytime you feel the need to talk, you can always track Gourry and myself down, and we'll listen and do what we can to help."

 "Thank you, Lina-san," I said, and gave her a hug, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

 "Now now, you'll ruin your make-up and I'll get blamed for it," Lina-san grinned, and then headed over to the door.  "Good luck, Princess Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune."

 She opened the door and slipped out, and I caught the sounds of her conversing with Gourry-san,
before they moved off.  I stood alone in my room, pushing my soul's shadows aside and composing my features into a mask of politeness, refusing to acknowledge a little whisper of hope that was trying to say, "Maybe they found him after all, or maybe that's actually Zel who's waiting to start the rest of his life together with you."  I knew thoughts like that would only succeed in tearing me in half, but I couldn't stop their small march through my mind as my father knocked on the door and entered.

 "You look beautiful, Amelia," he said, and his eyes began to tear up.  "My little girl is all grown up!"

 I gazed at Daddy in exasperation as he proceeded to bawl his eyes out and give speeches on how I was embarking on a new life and that I should not stray from my Justice Loving Ways, but it would be all right to neglect them while I'm on my honeymoon.  I just barely managed to save all the hard work Marie put into getting me ready by neatly side stepping Daddy when he went in for one of his (in)famous bear hugs.

 "Daddy, you'll mess up my dress!" I cry, and he's instantly apologizing.

 "I don't know what got in me," he says, then extends his arm to me.  "Shall we go, Daughter?"

 I take a deep, fortifying breath, tell the little hopeful whispers in my head to shut up, and lay my hand gently on his arm.  "I'm ready, Daddy."

 He smiles at me, his eyes both happy and sad at the same time.  He's happy that I'm getting married, but he's sad because he knows my heart belongs to someone else.  Still, it could be worse, I suppose.  I could be marrying someone who has a reputation as a womanizer, abuser, and all around general lout.  Yes, I must keep telling myself that, and I do as we make the walk through the quiet palace, all the servants having rushed to the Temple of Ceipheed to try and grab the remaining seats or stand in a strategic place to allow for a better view.  My footsteps click hollowly against the marble staircase as we descend into the main hall, and I keep wondering if I'm allowing myself to be led into a type of hell.  If I am, then it's fitting that we're descending.

 The wide double doors that lead into the palace interior open slowly, and silently allows for a shaft of sunlight to creep across the floor and over our bodies.  I'm blinded for a brief instant as the sunlight hits me in the eyes, but then my vision clears and I'm stunned by what I see.  People are everywhere, lining the red carpet that leads to the Temple, their eyes trained on my father and myself, but what caused a brief misting of tears to rise in my eyes were the fact that the children had been allowed to stand at the front, and each one of them held out a flower to me.

 "You didn't have a bouquet, and one of the mother's came to me with this idea, so I told them to go ahead with it," Daddy murmured in my ear.

 As we walk down the human lined pathway, we pause for a brief second by every child, and I carefully reach out and take the flower from his or her hands, my smile getting bigger and my tears threatening to spill over with every "Thank you" that I murmur and every, "Good luck, Hime!" that is given to me.

 By the time we reach the Temple, my bouquet has swollen to near monstrous proportions, but because of the variety of the size, shape, and type of flowers and the way they all managed to interweave into one another, it didn't look ridiculous or preposterous.  And the smell . . . . Every inhalation of my breath brings with it the small of nature with it's promise of hardships and renewal, hope and despair, triumph and tragedy.  I was bolstered by that smell, and once again renewed my determination to not only meet my future head on and unhindered, but to do my best no matter what happens.

 The main doors to the Temple slowly open, and Daddy and I pass out of the bright warmth and sunshine into the candle lit interior of the Temple.  The sunlight streamed in through several stained glass windows depicting Ceipheed and Saillune's early days, but it wasn't strong enough to overpower the gentle flickering of the hundreds of candles that had been set up.

 I turn my attention away from the Temple as Daddy begins to walk me down the long aisle, and I turned my gaze to the figure that was standing at the end, waiting for me.  For a brief instant I saw Zelgadis-san standing there, his rare smile curving his lips as he watches me walk towards him and our future together, and my heart soared . . . but then I blinked, and a very handsome, and unfamiliar man with flame colored hair and deep, sea green eyes was gazing at me with a tender look of hope and anticipation . . . and more than a little admiration.  My heart felt as if it had stopped, but that couldn't have because I continue to walk with my face frozen in a mask of polite inquiry.

 Daddy walks me up to him, and then gives me away to the man who is to be my husband.  A man I don't know.

 As we turn to face the priest, I hear a deep voice say lowly, "Geoffry."

 I turn my eyes away from the priest and up to the man who is standing beside me, and blink, confused.

 "That's my name.  Geoffry," he says, those green eyes lighting up with amusement and crinkling at the edges in a very appealing way as he smiled down at me.
 
 "Oh, pleasure to meet you," I reply, at a loss.
 
 "I figured that they never told you my name," he says, "So I thought it would be best if you knew it before the ceremony began.  And it's a pleasure to meet you, too, even though that sounds really strange standing here at the alter."

 I nod my head in agreement, because the High Priest is giving us a look that states he is ready to begin, our rank in the world not doing anything to persuade him that giving us dirty Looks wasn't such a good idea.  I smile at him, and he begins with the invocation to Ceipheed to guide and protect our marriage.

 Then comes the part I was most dreading.  "Do you, Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune . . . "

 _Don't hesitate, don't hesitate, don't hesitate_ I lecture to myself as he continues through the routine before " . . . . until death do you part?"

 "I do," I say.  Good, there was no hesitation, and my voice was clear and strong.  The rest of the formalities go by in a flash and at the same time slowly, making me feel like I am in a time warp where time doesn't exist, and where a minute lasts both an eternity and a second.  Before I know it, and finally, the High Priest finishes the last prayer, and pronounces, "You may now kiss the bride."

 I turn my gaze towards Geoffry, and find myself under the scrutiny of a pair of the most intense eyes I have seen since I returned home after my last adventure.  The last time I had seen eyes like that had been eight years ago, and they were blue, not green.  Geoffry lifts up his right hand, and lays it gently against my cheek, his thumb lightly caressing my skin as if amazed at it's softness.  He then tilts my head gently back, and brings his warm, soft lips down on mine in a sweet, chaste kiss.

 In that kiss, I see a brief flash of what my future is going to be like.  Geoffry and I will become friends, and our friendship will soon blossom into a mutual affection that will last us our entire lives.  It is a comfortable seeming future, with things happening when they are supposed to happen, no surprises, but no love, either.

 He pulls away from me and gazes down into my upturned face, and I see an expression in his eyes that must be an exact mirror of what is in my own.  He has seen it, too.

 Before either one of us could say anything or even turn around, the front doors the Temple burst open, and a harried figure steps in from the light.  The suddenness of this entrance causes everyone to turn and stare, Geoffry and myself no exceptions.  My reaction, however, is not one of interested curiosity.  No, I am trying desperately to keep myself from bursting into hysterical laughter.  Damn, but the man always did know how to make an entrance.

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