Xellos: Oh, go finish your ficcy first!
C.G.: *groan* Hi Xellos.
Xellos: What is with you? You start something and you
never finish it. Shame on you!
C.G.: I’ll get it finished!
Xellos: Sure you will…
C.G.: I just want to attempt an A/Z ficcy just to say
I can do it.
Xellos: Lemon?
C.G.: How about perverted and implied lemon? *nervous
laughter*
Xellos: You’re such a wuss!
C.G.: Slayers characters don’t belong to me...blah,
blah, blah. This story is based on the fairy tale
called Bearskin. Don’t sue!
Xellos: I see why it’s Z/A now. *giggle*
C.G.: Can I start?
Xellos: Sure.
C.G.: Once upon a time, there was this great priest…
Xellos: Thank you.
C.G.: NOT YOU FRUIT!!! This priest REZO used to be
great and everything but being blind was hard on him
and living so long didn’t help so he turned into a
nutcase.
Xellos: <hillbilly accent> There’s a reason.
C.G.: Stop that! Anyway, this priest had a grandson he
loved to tease and torment...
Xellos: Who doesn’t like to tease and torment Zel?
*giggle*
C.G.: One day while watching…uh…listening to his
grandson…
Xellos: <hillbilly accent> And great-grandson.
C.G.: Knock it off. …train with his sword near a
wheat field, Rezo thought of an idea…
Rezo: Oh I don’t know what to do with this boy. All he
does is train with his sword and read books. How
boring. And he won’t help me with my quest. He's such
a brat. I need his help so I’m going to…
Eris<calling from distance>: LORD REZO, TIME FOR YOUR
SPONGE BATH!!!!
Rezo hides and ducks in the field.
Rezo<thinking>: If I’m really quiet, maybe she’ll go
away.
Eris: WHERE ARE YOU?? DID YOU SEE LORD REZO, YOU
STUPID INGRATE?
Zel: No.
Rezo<thinking>: Please, please don’t look here. I hate
her sponge baths.
Half an hour later
Rezo: I think she’s gone now. Zelly?
Zel: GRRR… Don’t call me Zelly!
Rezo: I have a proposition for…<runs into a tree>
*Oof*…you.
Zel: *groan* What is it?
Rezo: I know you want power, am I right?
Zel: Yeah, so?
Rezo: How would you like to get tons of power?
Zel: There’s a catch isn’t there?
Rezo: Do you want power or do you want to stay a
little runt for the rest of your life?
Zel: GRRR…
Rezo: It’s a little game. If you win, not only will
you have power but great wealth too.
Zel: What do I have to do?
Rezo: Put this on first.
Zel: What is it?
Rezo: You’ll see. Put the red jewel on.
Xellos: *giggle* He would do it too. Why is it in you
ficcies that Zel starts off human then…
C.G.: SHUT UP!!!!!!!
Zel: WHAT THE HELL????? *cries* Oh I knew there was a
catch!
Rezo: You should have know you couldn’t get the prize
that easily. And now for your part of our little game.
Zel: Huh?
Rezo: This game will last 5 years, understand? During
these 5 years you have rules to follow. Rule #1: You
must never take jewel off. If you do, your ass will be
mine.
Zel: Hey, you never said anything about…
Rezo: You should have thought about that before you
put that on. Rule #2: You can’t cover up your face.
Zel: Can I wear my hood?
Rezo: Yes, but your face can’t be covered. And don’t
think I won’t know, I’ll have you followed. And I
don’t want you in an abandoned shack for 5 years. This
whole game is for you to face people. Rule #3: You
must never tell anyone about this game, or you’re
mine.
Zel: Why do you want to own me?
Rezo: Well, I need you to help me resurrect Ruby Eye.
I hate being blind and that’s the only way I can do
it.
Zel: WHY YOU…
Rezo: If you break our game, I will own you and make
you do embarrassing things.
Zel: Like what?
Rezo: I will get you drunk and have you streak around
town and sing for my amusement. I will…
Zel: *sweatdrop* What about 5 years?
Rezo: Come back here in 5 years if you last that long.
Then you win. And you win your prize. Now travel the
world!
Zel: What?
Rezo: Oh here. This purse has unlimited money in it.
You’ll never go broke so no excuses.
Zel: How did you manage that?
Rezo: Don’t ask. And oh… no sex.
Zel: Grrr… And I bet you don’t want me drinking
either.
Rezo: I expect you to do a lot of that.
Zel: Grrr…
C.G.: So Zelgadis has to live as a freak for 5 years
or has to become a slave to Rezo. The first 2 years
were hard even with Zel’s power and money. He learned
the world could be a cruel place. He wasn’t allowed to
stay very long anywhere because of the way he looked.
The people constantly staring at him, people throwing
nasty comments at him, people turning him away…
Xellos: That doesn’t happen in Slayers.
C.G.: IT HAPPENS IN THE FAIRY TALE YOU MORON!!!!!!
This is what Bearskin is about.
Xellos: Isn’t Bearskin about a guy who has to wear a
bearskin for so many years, something like this, and
he’s not allowed to take baths. How can Zel take baths
when he has to wear his jewel non-stop?
C.G.: SHUT UP!!!!!!!
Xellos: Continue.
C.G.: 2 years has past, and Zelgadis is sitting in a
bar. He does every time he thinks about breaking the
game.
Zel: *cries* Oh the world is so cruel! Why must I go
through this constant hell? 3 more years…*sob* But I
won’t let Rezo win! I can’t. He thinks I can’t. I can.
And when I do…
C.G.: A very large guy comes into the bar and sits
next to Zelgadis. He orders a few drinks. He doesn’t
seem to mind Zel’s appearance, which is a first.
Phil: I’m going to need these. We both have our
problems. I used to be a very wealthy businessman.
C.G.: Xellos, not one word. NOT ONE!
Phil: That is until I made a bad investment. Now I owe
so much money, we’re going to lose our house. I can’t
think about my daughters being out on the streets.
Xellos: Oh let me guess he has more than 2 daughters
is this.
C.G.: It has to be like this.
Xellos: And…one of his daughters is already married to
a certain blonde stud. You’re too easy.
C.G.: Grrrr…I think I hear Zellas calling…
Xellos: I’m not leaving.
C.G.: Zel was sad to hear about this terrible
situation and decides to give Phil the money he needs
since Zel has unlimited amount of money.
Xellos: Zel was scared.
Phil: REALLY? Oh thank you, but I can’t accept it.
Zel: No please take it. I don’t need it.
Phil: *cries* BUT I CAN’T JUST TAKE IT!!!! Oh I know I
can do something…
Zel: *cries* Don’t do that!
Phil: I KNOW!!! <grabs Zel>
Zel: *cries* Please don’t hurt me!
Phil: I want you to come and meet my daughters.
Zel: *cries* I got to go really. Business trip.
C.G.: Phil drags Zelgadis back to his mansion the next
day.
Phil: Follow me.
C.G.: They go up the stairs.
Phil: Stay here. GIRLS!!!! <leaves>
C.G.: Zel dashes for the window.
Zel: I got to get out of here. Maybe since I’m stone,
I can just jump out the window. Open stupid window!
OPEN!!!!!
C.G.: In the next room…
Martina: FATHER HOW COULD YOU?!? Telling that freak
that he could marry one of us.
Filia: Don’t look at me.
Xellos: A dragon?
C.G.: Not in this ficcy! Grrr…
Filia: I’ll never marry that thing.
Shilfiel: Sorry, I’m saving myself for someone.
Filia: For Lina’s soon-to-be husband. Go on Shilfiel.
Shilfiel: Never!
Naga: He’s hard! <laughs>
Phil: But he so generously gave me the money I needed
and I could never pay it back…
Martina: Well I’m not going to do to!
Filia: Me neither!
Sylphiel: I’m taken.
Filia: No you’re not.
Phil: Naga?
Naga is still laughing at her joke.
Amelia comes into the room.
Martina: Amelia, you won’t believe what dad brought
home.
Phil: You should be grateful that he saved us from
being thrown out on the streets.
Sylphiel: Oh I don’t want to live on the streets.
Filia: Amelia, where are you going?
Zel: Why isn’t this stupid thing opening…huh?
*sweatdrop*
C.G.: Zel feels someone hugging him from behind.
Amelia: I know I don’t support arranged marriages but
when I heard that you saved us from being evicted, I
decided that I’ll make an exception.
Zel: You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s your
father’s idea really. I didn’t want anything back.
*sweatdrop* He insisted. If I can just open the
window…
Amelia: No. Giving my father all that money and asking
for nothing in return means you are a kind and
wonderful man. I would love to be your wife Mr. … uh?
Zel: Zelgadis. But…
Amelia: Zelgadis. Let’s celebrate by going to a fancy
restaurant!
Zel: Let’s celebrate by eating here in a dark room.
Amelia: Oh candlelight dinner! I like it.
Zel: No, I meant completely dark.
Amelia: You’re too self-conscious Mr. Zelgadis.
Zel: Like I don’t have a reason to be.
Amelia: Come with me. *giggle* <leaves>
Martina: Oh I hope you’re happy father! We now have a
freak in our family.
Naga: I wonder what their kids will look like!
<laughs>
C.G.: Later that night…
Xellos: Oooo, lemon…
Phil: It’s the 3rd bedroom on the left.
Zel: Thanks. I guess I’ll just stay here one…
Amelia: Hi Mr. Zelgadis! Do you want the left side or
the right?
Zel: *sweatdrop* We got to talk…
Amelia: <jumps up> I’m not being forced Mr. Zelgadis!
<hugs> Please stay! Ignore my sisters.
Zel: No, no. I have to go on a “business trip” and
I’ll be gone for 3 years.
Amelia: No, why so long? Don’t go.
Zel: I have to. I’ll be back in 3 years. I already
bought the ring, see?
Amelia: *blush* I love it Mr. Zelgadis! <take a string
out of her drawer> I’ll wear it like a necklace until
you come back. I wish you didn’t have to go…here. Take
this, it’s my bracelet. When you come back to me with
it, we can get married. *giggle*
Zel: 3 years.
Amelia: 3 years.
Xellos: WHERE’S THE SEX????
C.G.: Zelgadis continues wandering the world. In his
darkest hours when he has no willpower left, he looks
at Amelia’s bracelet and it reminds him that there is
one person who doesn’t see him as a freak.
Xellos: Oh now you’re getting all sappy.
C.G.: Finally the 5 brutal years has past since the
game and Zelgadis goes back to the field.
Zel: REZO!!!!
Rezo: I’m over here.
Zel: I did it!
Rezo: *sigh* Yes you did. I’m surprised you lasted.
Zel: Well…?
Rezo: Yes, you can take it off.
Zel: And what about my power and money.
Rezo: You already have it.
Zel: …
Rezo: *sigh* You can go now.
Zel: Oh.
C.G.: And so Zelgadis is free. He buys this huge
mansion and invests in businesses making a name for
himself.
Xellos: Oh I see what’s coming…
C.G.: Phil learned that one most important investor
was coming to visit.
Xellos: You don’t know what talking about, do you?
C.G.: No. Anyway, everybody was preparing for the big
dinner party.
Martina: LINA!!!! Tell your stupid husband to keep
away from the food! Hey, get out of there!
Lina: Mmmpppphhh…
Translation: I’ll
tell him.
Martina: Grrr…Start helping!
Lina: I am. Gourry, move the table over there. We
might need more chairs.
Gourry: Ok honey.
Amelia: Honey. *giggle*
Filia: Don’t start that up again. I don’t think he’s
coming.
Amelia: Stop that! I love Mr. Zelgadis and know he’s
coming back for me. >P
Lina: This roast is done.
Martina: I’ll put it on the table, you’ll just eat it!
Somebody put the rest of this food on the table.
Sylphiel: A carriage has pulled up.
Filia: HE’S HERE!!!!
Lina: Oh Gourry, this is a special occasion so…
Gourry: I know, eat slowly and use silverware.
Lina: Right.
Martina: He’s cute!
Filia: I hope he’s single.
Xellos: <girly voice> I hope he has a big sword.
C.G.: SHUT UP!!!!! Phil and all the single girls run
to the door. Amelia sits at the table looking at her
necklace daydreaming.
Amelia: I hope Mr. Zelgadis likes the coat I made for
him.
Phil: Welcome to our house Mr. Greywords.
Xellos: *rolls eyes* Oh I knew it.
C.G. bashes Xellos over the head with her Harry Potter
book.
Phil: Come on in.
Zel: Thank you. <looks around>
Martina: *blush* Are you looking for something?
Zel: Someone. Oh…<walks over to Amelia>
Amelia: Hello.
Zel: Hi. So what are you up to?
Amelia: Waiting for my love to come back.
Zel: Oh really?
Amelia: He said he’s coming back for me about this
time. See? He gave me this ring.
Zel: And did he have something of yours?
Amelia: Yes.
Zel: Did it look like this?
Amelia: Huh? But how…
Zel: I’m finished with my business trip.
Amelia: *blush* Oh Mr. Zelgadis.
Xellos: Add usual kissing scene here.
Martina: What? He was the freak?
Filia: But how?
Martina: *cries* NO!!!! <runs into kitchen>
Filia: Martina!
Gourry and Lina: ?
Phil: Oh wow! *cries* This is so beautiful.
Gourry: Can we eat?
Lina: Let’s go!
Gourry: Yay!
Shilfiel: Nuts.
Phil: Let’s all go to the table and have something to
eat.
Amelia: Hey, Mr. Zelgadis. Do you want to see the coat
I made you.
Zel: Where is it?
Amelia: In the bedroom.
Zel: …
Amelia: *giggle* Oh Mr. Zelgadis, left or right?
Zel: On top.
Amelia: *blush* Tee hee! Oh Mr. Zelgadis. <grabs his
and they run upstairs>
Phil: *cries* Oh I am so happy. Another wedding!
Naga laughs. Shilfiel sighs. Filia and Martina are
crying in the kitchen. Lina and Gourry eat.
Phil: Hey, where did those tow go?
Amelia<heard from upstairs>: *moan* OHHHHHH MR.
ZELGADISSSSSSS!!!!!!
Sylphiel: *blush* She’ loud.
Gourry: Hey Lina, remember the time in your dad’s wine
cellar?
Lina: Shhhhhh…Tee hee.
Naga: I told you he was hard! <laughs>
Xellos: And they all lived happily ever after. THE
END.
C.G.: That was my line!
Xellos: *giggle* Sorry.
C.G.: That’s better.
Xellos: No I’m sorry people had to read this.
Bash