L and M: *dressed in PJs* WE WANT TO PLAAAAY MOMMY! DADDY! WAHHHH!
Amelia: *dressed in a green bathrobe, to Alyson* Why are they acting like that?
Me: Because I told them to. They are kids, remember.
Zel: *also in a blue bathrobe, snort*
Me: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicoles soon would be there.
Zel: *eyeing the bare space heater* There aren't any stockings there!
Me: You're supposed to find them in that pile of junk and hang them!
Zel: Oh. *goes rooting through the pile, pulls out some sheer panty hose, turns an interesting shade of purple before throwing the panty hose at Amelia and turning away* YOU hang them!
Amelia: *catching panty hose and hanging them* Ok. They're just stockings, Zelgadis.
Lina: Wimp.
Zel: Shut up!
Me: The children were nestled all snug in their beds . . .
Lina: We are not!
Martina: yeah! I want to hear a bed time story about Zoamal Gustar!
Lina: Well I don't! And he doesn't even exist, anyway, you psycho!
Martina; TAKE THAT BACK!
Lina: NO! *fight ensues*
Amelia: *sigh* SLEEPING!
L and M: *snooooooore*
Zel: That's one way of doing it.
Me: While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads;
Lina: *sitting up* FOOD! I'M HUNGRY! *tears off into the kitchen, where the sounds of a miniature feast being demolished is heard. She then returns and climbs back into the bed*
Me: And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Amelia: 'Kerchief? *roots through pile* Um, I can only find this bandanna, and it's not even pretty.
Zel: A baseball cap?
Amelia: I guess we should put them on. *puts on bandanna, while Zel puts on his cap* No, if you turn it sideways like this, it looks cooler. *does so*
Zel: Um, thanks.
Me: Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
Z and A: WE HAVE TO GET INTO BED TOGETHER?! O.O
Lina: Oooh, Alyson, naughty naughty!
Me: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! *takes a deep breath* Just sit on the edge of the bed then, all right?
Z and A: *exchange looks, blush and turn away before gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed*
Me: Ok, where was I. Oh! When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter *winces as the sound of several glass objects being broken are heard*, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Zel: Oh, I guess that's me. *stands up on the bed and jumps, landing in the middle of the "room"* Is this all right?
Me: That'll do. Hmm . . Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Zel: Isn't the Flash a super hero?
Lina: Yep!
Zel: Oh boy. *strikes a comically heroic pose before running to the window, then looks at Alyson* This is weird.
Me: Tore open the shutters *watches as Zel rips down some curtains, and mutters* Tore open, not tore up... *picks the story up again* and threw up the sash.
Zel: Pardon?
Me: Threw up the sash.
Zel: There is no way I'm going to do that!
Me: What's the problem?
Zel: It's to degrading! I won't do it!
Me: It's no big deal, Zel! Just throw up the sash, it's easy!
Zel: NO!
Me: If you don't . . . . *leaves threat hanging*
Zel: *grumble* Blackmail. *looks through pile, can't find what he's looking for. Turns to Amelia* Hey, can you hand me the sash on your robe?
Amelia: *clutching robe a little tighter* What for?
Zel: Mine doesn't have one, it buttons
Amelia: Um, ok. *slowly unties bathrobe and hands the sash to Zel, clutching the robe around her*
Me: Amelia, you have on a T-shirt and jeans, you know.
Amelia: Oh yeah! *lets robe fall open* I forgot.
Zel: *sighing* I can't believe I'm going this. *balls up sash, holds it to his mouth, then lets it fall while making vomiting noises*
All: EWWWW!
Me: ZEL! THAT' NOT WHAT I MEANT!
Zel: THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE I DID THAT?!
Me: Oh, shut up. *continues to read, while Zel acts like he's looking out the window* The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow *winces as someone throws a handful of fake snow in Zel's face, and he starts coughing* Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
Zel: *as a flash light is shone straight into his eyes* DAMNIT! WHOEVER IS DOING THAT IS GOING TO PAY! *someone giggles*
Me: When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.
Zel: *tries to take a step forward, and slips on something that squeaks* I TOLD YOU TWO TO PUT YOUR TOYS UP!
Martina: It's her fault! *points at Lina*
Lina: Is not!
Amelia: SLEEPING! *sigh* Keep this up and the whole place is going to be passed out.
Me: With a little old driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment that it must be St. Nick.
Zel: THAT'S St. Nick? *points to Xelloss, who has walked on stage with Val, dressed as an elf, beside him. Xel is wearing a dark grey sweat suite, and is grinning like mad*
Xel: What, I'm not what you're expecting?
Zel and Amelia: Not really.
Me: More rapid than eagles his courses they came, *watches as Xel throws a paper airplane, and sighs* And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
Xel: *whistles loudly, then takes the list that Val hands him* You know, Val, I can't read your writing.
Val: Tough.
Xel: Guess I'll improvise! Now, Smasher!
Filia: *stepping through the window, glaring* SMASHER? EXCUZZZZ ME?! *whams Xel over the head with her mace, before stalking to stand at the front of the stage, fuming*
Xel: *giggle* Now, Cancer!
Xelas: *steps elegantly through the window, takes a large drag on her cigarette and blows it into Xel's face* Interesting reading, dear.
Xel: Thank you, Jouou-sama! *reads on as Xelas takes her place next to Filia, who looks very uncomfortable with the Dark Lord there* Now . . . Switcher?
Miwan: *walks through wearing a tight shirt that shows he's a man, but with a skirt* Switcher? As in gender switcher? *shrugs and walks up to stand next to Xelas, while Zel groans in the background*
Xel: And Vixen!
Sylphiel: Um . . . *steps through the window. Everyone, including Xel's, eyes bug out as they get a look at her outfit. Tight leather midriff, tight leather mini skirt, spike heels with those thigh high leather zip up boots* Miss Alyson, are you sure. . . . .
Me: Go on.
Sylphiel: Um, ok. *goes and stands next to Miwan, fidgeting.
Xel: Um, er, On, Vomit!
Eris: *stepping through the window* VOMIT?!
Me: You do spit up a lot of blood in the first series.
Eris: I'm so humiliated. *stands next to Sylphiel, also fuming*
Xel: On Stupid!
All: ...... *waiting for something to happen*
Xel: STUPID!
Zel: This whole thing is stupid.
Lina: *getting out of bed, and going out the window* Gourry, that's you.
Gourry: It is? Oh! *steps through the window and stands next to Eris* I forgot!
Lina: Figures. *sits back on her bed. Amelia giggles quietly*
Xel: On Bonehead!
Zangy: *making an appearance* BONEHEAD?!
Me: You're very stubborn.
Zangy: *grumble grumble, stands next to Gourry, eyeing him like he wants to fight*
Xel: And finally, on Blitzed!
Naga: OH HOHOHOHOHO *hic* You called? *stumbles through the window, holding onto a HUGE mug of her "special" mix*
Lina: Very apt.
Amelia: ........
Naga: *hic* I am the great *hic* White Serpent! *stumbles over to the line, falls over into Zangy, which creates a domino affect until everyone is on the ground*
Xel: *to Alyson* You want me to read this next part since I'm talking?
Me: Sure.
Xel: TO THE TOP OF THE PORCH! *watches as the "reindeer" scramble around in different directions* NO TO THE TOP OF THE WALL! *everyone switches directions and runs into each other* NOW DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY ALL! *everyone runs around like mad before they suddenly run off stage*
Lina; That was amusing!
Amelia: *laughing* I agree!
Me: Ok, guys, I think it's time for a commercial break.
Lina and Gourry walk into a living room that has been nicely decorated for Christmas. Gourry is carrying a plate of cookies while Lina is holding onto a candle.
Gourry: So do you think Santa will like these Slayer shaped Chimera Cookies?
Lina: *grumpy* Geez, Gourry, I've never met the guy! How would I know?
About that time they bump into a very familar figure wearing a red suit. Santa jumps and turns around. He and Lina stare at each other with identical horrified expressions.
Santa: THE CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION POSTER GIRL!
Lina: THAT OLD PEEPING TOM!
Both Santa and Lina exit the room their respective ways, leaving little trails of smoke behind them. Gourry stands in the middle of the room with a puzzled look on his face.
Gourry: Um, Lina? Santa??
Fade to black.
Me: *taking up the story again* As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. . . *eyes widen as a large CRASH is heard* What was that?
Filia: *calling from off stage* Naga ran into one of the sliding glass doors.
Me: Oh.
Lina: *snicker* That was your obstacle.
Me: Go back to sleep!
Lina: *sticks tongue out* BEEEDA!
Me: *sigh* So up to the house-top the courses they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and Saint Nicoles too.
Filia: *from off stage* There is no WAY that Raw Garbage is a Saint!
Me: *ignoring her* And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
Amelia: *eyes widening at the sound of a major stomping feast going on* That's some rather loud stomping for tiny feet.
Zel: *his head still out the window* You should see the dance their doing. Zangulus is chasing Gourry around, yelling about sword fighting.
Me: *sigh* As I drew in my head, and was turning around . . .
Zel: Here we go. *spins around in a circle, then comes to a stop* I feel like such an idiot.
Me: Down the chimney St. Nicoles came with a bound.
Xel: Oh goody! *proceeds to bounce across and around the stage* Bouncy bouncy! ^_^
Me: Here's your part, Val! He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
Val: *grins evilly* Hmmm... *throws a large bear skin rug O.o over Xel's head, covering him completely* I just might like this.
Xel: *gets his head free* Hey!
Me: And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Val: *grin gets wider, and he pulls out a HUGE ashtray that's overflowing with ashes, and dumps it over Xel's head* There ya go!
Xel: Did you get this from Xelas?
Val: I sure did!
Me: A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
Xel: *going up to Amelia* Hey there, pretty lady! Can I interest you in some Rolex's? *pulls a box from his bag*
Amelia: Get a life, Santa.
Me: His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
Val: Now how can I get his eyes to twinkle if he's got them closed?
Me: don't ask me.
Val: *thinks, then gets and idea and pulls out some glue and glitter* HERE WE GO! *proceeds to liberally smear glue and glitter all over the Trickster's face*
Xel: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Val: Yep! Now for dimples! *stabs Xel in the cheeks with an eyebrow pencil, creating two dark spots on his cheeks*
Me: His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
Val: Better and better! *uses the glue and sticks two fake roses to Xel's cheeks before pulling out one of those bright red clown noses and sticking it on Xel's nose* Perfect!
Zel: This is very amusing! *smirks*
Me: His droll mouth was drawn up like a bow....
Val: I'm really liking this glue, Alyson. *glues a bright red bow tie against Xel's upper lip, while the Trickster proceeds to glare*
Xel: *grumble*
Me: And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
Val: Hmm... *pops a fake beard on Xel's face*
Me: The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
Val: *roots around in the pile of junk before coming up with a kitchen pipe and a wreath* Here ya go, Santa! *shoves pipe in Xel's mouth, then plops the wreath on his head, smirking*
Me: He had a broad face . . . *trails off as Val smacks Xel in the face with a board* Um, that was broad, not board.
Xel: Aww, I enjoyed that one!
Me: Oh boy... *continuing* and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
Val: Hmm, some padding here, and there *shoves pillows and what not up Xel's shirt, until Xel can no longer see over his belly*
Xel: Can't see....
Me: He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Xel: Not at the moment! I want to see! *removes some of the padding* Ahhhhh
Me: And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
Zel: *sitting on the ground, laughing* I've been laughing for a while! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Amelia: *giggle*
Me: A wink of his eye and a twist of his head.... *stares as Xel proceeds to try and turn his head 180 degrees* XEL, THAT'S SICK! *throws a pillow at him, then continues* Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
Zel: *now standing and watching Xelloss warily* Yeah, right.
Amelia: I second that notion.
Lina: I'm watching you, Mazoku boy.
Martina: May Zoamal Gustar have mercy on your soul!
Xel: I'm not that bad!
All: *snort*
Me: He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work . . .
Xel: Let's see, I'll take this and this *proceeds to remove all the presents, including Lina's secret Gourry doll she had hidden under her pillow*
Lina; HEY THAT'S MINE!
Martina: And how long have you had this doll? *snickers*
Lina: *turning red* NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Me: And filled up all the stockings, and turned with a jerk,
Xel: *pulling off the stockings, turning around with several jerky movements, then walks towards Amelia with his eyebrow cocked in a saucy way* Hey, are these yours, princess?
Zel: HEY! *jumps between a backing up Amelia and Xelloss*
Xel: *shrug* Her loss. *stuffs the stockings into his bag*
Me: And laying his finger aside of his nose,
Lina: *noticing something* EWWWW!!
Filia's voice: *her mace comes flying out of no where and smashes Xel in the head* SHE SAID ASIDE OF YOUR NOSE, NOT UP IT, RAW GARBAGE!
All: EWWWWWW!
Xel: Oops. ^_^
Me: And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
Martina: He took all our stuff!
Lina: HE TOOK MY DOLL!
Amelia: he tried to come on to me!
Zel: he's gonna pay!
All: RIGHT!
Me: He sprang to hi sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight . . . *is suddenly drowned out by several anti-Mazoku spells being shouted*
Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!
Martina: ZOAMAL GUSTAR!
Z & A: RA TILT!
Filia: FLAME BREATH!
Me: Um, not really . . . .
All: It's going to be a happy Christmas this year! *grins and walks off, leaving Alyson to pick up the heap of ashes that was a Trickster Priest*
Me: Sheesh, it was only a story.
Lina: *comes running on and grabs her doll from Xel's pack* You NEVER saw this! *glares at Alyson and Xel, before running off stage again*
Me: *sigh* I hope you enjoyed my little Christmas spoof. . . .
Xel: *groan*
Me: So have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, ect ect! Good night! *bows out*