The following is from the business section of The Kansas City Star, Jan 17, 1995:

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

" I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968 commenting on the microchip.

" There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

1. (S)He sits at the computer naked.

2. (S)He always smokes after using the computer.

3. The screen goes blank whenever you enter the room.

4. (S)He always turns off the sound when you're in the next room.

5. (S)He'd rather send email than have sex with you.

6. You caught him (her) foddling the mouse again.

7. (S)He's getting good at using the computer with one hand.

8. You caught him worrying about his floppy disk again.

9. He brags about the size of his hard disk.

10. What's this sticky stuff on the keyboard?