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As far as I know, Intel has no official opinion on Green Lantern continuity and other such matters... so any opinions expressed are simply my own (and they are the correct opinions, I might add).

I know i'm a bad speller, don't waste FlameWidth pointing out old news intel agrees with this, but not necessarly anything above the line.

[Rick Busdiecker's plan file, Michael.Mauldin@G.GP.CS.CMU.EDU, and Christopher Garrigues <7thSon@SPAR.SLB.COM>, along with those named above, were each responsible for bringing this message one step closer to you, but the gruesome electronic mail details have been suppressed. Ed]

The opinions above are solely those of a 12 year old hacker who has broken into my account, and not those of my employer or any other organization.

Should the opinions expressed above be those of someone else besides the author.. Well.. it ain't my fault.

"Opinions expressed herein were not mine originally, but were forced on me at gunpoint by the Interactive Systems Corporation"

Disclaimer: My mind is so fragmented by random excursions into a wilderness of abstractions and incipient ideas that the practical purposes of the moment are often submerged in my consciousness and I don't know what I'm doing. [my employers certainly have no idea]

Richard Harter, SMDS Inc. [Disclaimers not permitted by company policy.] [I set company policy.]

"The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of my employer, not necessarily mine, and probably not necessary."

The opinions in this article are my own, and not those of the voices which tell me what to do.

DISCLAIMER: All grammatical and spelling errors are inserted deliberately to test the software I am developing. In fact, that is the only reason I am posting. Yeah, that's the ticket! All my postings are just test data! Yeah!!

Disclaimer: the above is the author's personal opinion and is not the opinion or policy of his employer or of the little green men that have been following him all day.

Disclaimer: The views of my employer do not conform to my views, or to any accepted standard of logic that the Greeks thought up anyway...

-- Disclaimer: These aren't mere opinions... these are *values*.

My opinions! Do you hear? MINE! Not JPL's.

This is not an official statement of Hewlett-Packard Corp., and does not necessarily reflect the views of HP. It is provided completely without warranty of any kind. Lawyers take 3d10 damage and roll a saving throw vs. ego attack.

Disclaimer: All opinions herein are fictitious, any similarity to real opinions, living or dead, is coincidental.

DISCLAIMER: My opinion is a poor thing, but mine own. Any similarity to any others' opinion, living or dead, is coincidental.

The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is yours to draw...

The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. Now, who among us can tell the difference? RSD@sei.cmu.edu

Disclaimer: "The above opinions are those of a large rodent with sharp teeth"

Please note that these are my own private opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Xerox Corporation. Actually, I cannot tell a lie, they are not my opinions at all, they are the opinions of the little green men who come out of the walls at night and stick wires in my head.

Opinions (as above) are like noses: everyone has one, and most smell.

Disclaimer: Anything not explicitly labeled as fact is my own opinion.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." -- Philip K. Dick

"It was unintelligible at any speed we played it." -- A US Government report investigating possible bad words in "Louie Louie"

"Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill."

"To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question.... ....or is it?"

It brings to mind Alan Gopin's generic comment, "It seems to be vague, but is in fact meaningless."

"Yes, my name is Stewart, and I assure you I can speak, And lately I find myself astounded at the sort of company you keep.../ One thing further I must mention, of this fact I cannot understand/ Is your sensational attention at annoying me with your hand." -- Stewie

.... Any queuing system is prone to breakage, and mail systems are written to be as paranoid as possible in an effort to prevent this. Automated paranoia makes for big programs.

How can angels fall asleep when the devil leaves his porch light on?

[Did you ever think about how much your cities actually weigh?

To search for perfection is all very well, But to look for heaven is to live here in hell.

....Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

.... I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'M fishing.

"What I do is not so much songs as it is exercises in tonal breath control"

when a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. - GB Shaw

"He who hesitates is lunch"

"Computer Science Considerations"-- BYTE 2/86. An interview with the developer of TEX and METAFONT, Donald Knuth: "I was excited that I started out trying to apply computer science to typography and wound up applying typography to computer science. . ."

"We could always shoot one of the philosophers." - David Gries

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

remember, if you do it yourself, sooner or later you'll need a bigger hammer

"Pass me the Rap Rod, Plate Captain" "What?" "Pass me the telephone, waiter. If you guys were any less hip, your bums would fall off."

"Watch while the queen in one false move turns herself into a pawn"

The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do -- McCloctnik the Lucid

"I am sitting in the smallest room in the house. I have your letter [review] before me. Soon it will be behind me." - Max Reger (1873-1916), a composer whose music is still little known outside of his native Germany.

I'm growing older but not up... - Jimmy Buffett

"Therefore the younger a guitar is the less stable it is while the older a guitar is the more stable it becomes. This is essentially because it takes quite a while for a guitar neck to realize that it is no longer part of a tree."

"They're directly beneath us, Moriarty. Release the piano!"

"Not looking like Pascal is not a language deficiency!"

At once words appeared on the screen: "Hello. My name is Hank Thoro II. Please type your name." "My whole name?" he typed. "Good. Do you like baseball? Just type Y for Yes or N for No." --- from "Roderick" by John Sladek

Epigram: Ada is the 400-pound gorilla of programming languages.

Remember Knuth: "premature optimization is the root of all evil."

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro!

Standard are industry's way of codifying obsolescence.

"Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth." -- Socrates "Tell the Truth and run."--Yugoslav proverb

If you find any *answers* in anything I've said, you've misunderstood me.

"People who are incapable of making decisions are the ones who hit those barrels at freeway exits."

I love music that sounds like a Conrail locomotive caraeening headlong into a truckload of Harpsichords.

``There's a fine line between an attitude problem and thinking clearly''

"Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation."

If I had had more time, I could have written you a shorter letter. -Blaise Pascal

Ignorance is the Mother of Adventure.

`uncontrolled descents into terrain'

"You got it kid -- the large print giveth and the small print taketh away."

Kaden thought of the old Klingon proverb. "Fool me once, shame on you: fool me twice, prepare to die."

these opinions and others like them are widespread in the culture

I feel like a genocidal maniac when emacs asks me if I want to kill 10789 characters.

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."

"Hi... My name is Hobbes. I'm the product of a malicious 5-year old's twisted and destructive imagination. Would YOU like to be my friend?"

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

PEART says: "How can anyone be truly enlightened, when the truth is so poorly lit?"

However paranoid you are, you're probably right.

inquiring gnomes want to mine!

"Somebody's had too much to think"

"If the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems begin to look like nails."

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. -- Mark Twain

Don't run faster than your shoes. -- Scottish saying

"Do not adjust you mind, it is reality that is malfunctioning."

"To get to the meat of the matter, I will come right to the point, and take note of the fact that the heart of the issue in the final analysis escapes me."

"I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this country of being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am."

Anything's possible, but only a few things actually happen.

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts.

"to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting." - e. e. cummings

Popular consensus says that reality is based on popular consensus.

"If you see this boy", said the ballerina, "do not---I repeat, do not---attempt to reason with him." Rich Rosen pyuxd!rlr

Men Who Use Computers Are The New Sex Symbols Of The `90s
by Scott Adams (Windows Magazine, May 1995)

I get about 100 e-mail messages a day from readers of my comic strip "Dilbert." Most are from disgruntled office workers, psychopaths, stalkers, comic-strip fans -- that sort of person. But a growing number are from women who write to say they think Dilbert is sexy. Some say they've already married a Dilbert and couldn't be happier.

If you're not familiar with Dilbert, he's an electrical engineer who spends most of his time with his computer. He's a nice guy but not exactly Kevin Costner.

Okay, Dilbert is polite, honest, employed and educated. And he stays home. These are good traits, but they don't exactly explain the incredible sex appeal. So what's the attraction?

I think it's a Darwinian thing. We're attracted to the people who have the best ability to survive and thrive. In the old days it was important to be able to run down an antelope and kill it with a single blow to the forehead.

But that skill is becoming less important every year.

Now all that matters is if you can install your own Ethernet card without having to call tech support and confess your inadequacies to a stranger whose best career option is to work in tech support.

It's obvious that the world has three distinct classes of people, each with its own evolutionary destiny:

Knowledgeable computer users who will evolve into godlike non-corporeal beings who rule the universe (except for those who work in tech support).

Computer owners who try to pass as knowledgeable but secretly use hand calculators to add totals to their Excel spreadsheets. This group will gravitate toward jobs as high school principals and operators of pet crematoriums. Eventually they will become extinct.

Non-computer users who will grow tails, sit in zoos and fling dung at tourists.

Obviously, if you're a woman and you're trying to decide which evolutionary track you want your offspring to take, you don't want to put them on the luge ride to the dung-flinging Olympics. You want a real man. You want a knowledgeable computer user with evolution potential.

And women prefer men who listen. Computer users are excellent listeners because they can look at you for long periods of time without saying anything. Granted, early in a relationship it's better if the guy actually talks. But men use up all the stories they'll ever have after six months. If a woman marries a guy who's in, let's say, retail sales, she'll get repeat stories starting in the seventh month and lasting forever. Marry an engineer and she gets a great listener for the next 70 years.

Plus, with the ozone layer evaporating, it's a good strategy to mate with somebody who has an indoor hobby. Outdoorsy men are applying suntan lotion with SPF 10,000 and yet by the age of 30 they still look like dried chili peppers in pants. Compare that with the healthy glow of a man who spends 12 hours a day in front of a video screen.

It's also well established that computer users are better lovers. I know because I heard an actual anecdote from someone who knew a woman who married a computer user and they reportedly had sex many times. I realize this isn't statistically valid, but you have to admit it's the most persuasive thing I've written so far.

If you still doubt the sexiness of male PC users, consider their hair. They tend to have either: (1) male pattern baldness -- a sign of elevated testosterone -- or (2) unkempt jungle hair -- the kind you see only on people who just finished a frenzied bout of lovemaking. If this were a trial I think we could reach a verdict on the strong circumstantial evidence alone.

I realize there are a lot of skeptics out there. They'll delight in pointing out the number of computer users who wear wrist braces and suggest it isn't the repetitive use of the keyboard that causes the problem. That's okay. Someday those skeptics will be flinging dung at tourists. Then who'll be laughing? (Answer to rhetorical question: everybody but the tourists.)

Henry Kissinger said power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And Bill Clinton said that knowledge is power. Therefore, logically, according to the U.S. government, knowledge of computers is the ultimate aphrodisiac. You could argue with me -- I'm just a cartoonist -- but it's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.

You might think this was enough to convince anyone that men who use computers are sexy. But look at it from my point of view: I'm getting paid by the word for this article. I'm not done yet.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

Technology has replaced hot cars as the new symbol of robust manhood. Men know that unless they get a digital line to the Internet no woman is going to look at them twice.

It's getting worse. Soon anyone who's not on the World Wide Web will qualify for a government subsidy for the home-pageless. And nobody likes a man who takes money from the government, except maybe Marilyn Monroe, which is why the CIA killed her. And if you think that's stupid, I've got 100 words to go.

Finally, there's the issue of mood lighting. Nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated only by a 15-inch SVGA monitor. If we agree that this is every woman's dream scenario, then I think we can also agree that it's best if the guy knows how to use the computer. Otherwise, he'll just look like a loser sitting in front of a PC in his underwear.

In summary, it's not that I think non-PC users are less attractive. It's just that I'm sure they won't read this article.