HuMoR - TIADA LogOn TANPA SENYUM ™

Wise words of the day-Eire mail

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Do witches run spell checkers?
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
C:\> Bad command or filename! Go stand in the corner.
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Hit any user to continue.
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.

Top 10 Signs that You've Overdosed on The WWW

Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?"
You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 1.1" on one of the clouds.
You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links.
You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.
One of your best friends is Mirsky, and you've never met him.
You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button.
You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.
Your dog has his own Webpage.
So does your hamster.
And the number 1 sign that you have overdosed on the World Wide Web:
When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.