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License Plate

Last week my husband was in his usual hurry to drive home from work. He tailgated one particularly slow car for some distance, mumbling some unflattering comments under his breath the whole time. Suddenly his attention was drawn to the license plate on the car. It was one of those vanity plates people pay extra money for and it read "LUKE4 8". Not familiar with that particular verse my husband didn't immediately understand it's significance, but it stuck in his mind, as he continued cursing and tailgating the car down the road.

Finally getting home, my husband sat and relaxed for a minute, thinking about that verse and wondering what it was that the driver of the car was trying to say with that plate. Reaching for his KJV Bible it only took him a minute to locate Luke 4:8 and read "And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan ...".

Bull Fight

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador".

As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer. The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires. "That is the Matador Special" replies the waiter. "Spaghetti and Bull testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!"

"That's what I'll have!", says the businessman.

"I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day".

Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day.

So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the "Matador Special" to another customer who was there before him.

"Damn!" he says to himself. "And tomorrow's my last day here."

So the next day, he skips the bull fight, and stands in line at the cafe. He is the first one seated, and proudly proclaims, "I'll have the Matador Special!"

"Very well, senor!" responds the waiter. Soon afterwards, the waiter brings out his dish, but the meat balls are disappointingly small. Very small, as a matter of fact.

"What's with this!" the now angry man shouts.

"I'm very sorry, senor" said the waiter, "but the bull does not always lose!"

Sniff Sniff

A woman walked into a very busy butcher's shop. Looking at meats and poultry on display, she suddenly grabbed hold of a dressed chicken, she picked up one wing, sniffed it, picked up the other wing and sniffed it, picked up one leg, sniffed it, picked up the other leg, sniffed it. Just as she finished sniffing the second leg, the butcher walked up to her and said, "Madam, could *you* pass such a test?"