HuMoR - TIADA LogOn TANPA SENYUM ™

The horse ride..

I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse starts bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged it. Thank goodness for heros.

Software Problem Report Form

  1. Describe your problem:
    __________________________________________

  2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
    __________________________________________

  3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
    __________________________________________
    __________________________________________

  4. Problem Severity:
    A. Minor__
    B. Minor__
    C. Minor__
    D. Minor__

  5. Nature of the problem:
    A. Locked Up__
    B. Frozen__
    C. Hung__
    D. Shot__

  6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

  7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

  8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

  9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

  10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

  11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

  12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

  13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

  14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? _________________

  15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________

  16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
    ______________________________________________________

  17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
    ________________________________________________________________

  18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

  19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________

  20. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________

  21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

  22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

A c r o n y m s

You may have heard these terms used quite frequently, but do you know what they REALLY mean?...

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing

APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

IBM = I Blame Microsoft

DEC = Do Expect Cuts

CA = Constant Acquisitions

CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too.

SCSI = System Can't See It

DOS = Defunct Operating System

BASIC = Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

WWW = World Wide Wait

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