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You can catch more flies with honey...

There was this little boy that lived in the country one day he walked through a farmers yard with duct tape under his are the farmer said where you going boy the little answered I am going to catch me a duck the farmer said you know you can't catch a duck with duck tape the little boy continued to walk on a little later the boy came back through with 2 ducks under his arm the farmer just looked at him.

The same boy came back through the same farmers yard the next day with chicken wire under his arm the farmer said what are you doing now boy the boy replied I am gonna catch me a chicken the farmer said you can't catch a chicken with chicken wire the little boy continued on his way a little later the boy came back with a chicken under his arm the farmer just stood in awe.

The same boy came through the same farmers yard the next day with a bunch of pussy willows under his arm the farmer said I am not gonna ask I know what your going after, I'm coming with you.

P e n g u i n

A guy went to the whorehouse looking for fun.

He asked the lady of the house for a fuck and she said to him "How much money have you got?"

"Well, I've only got 5 dollars" he said.

"That won't get you a fuck, but I could give you what we call a penguin."

"I'll take it." he says.

She sat him down in a chair and pulled his trousers down around his ankles and starts to give him a blow job. She watched him carefully and when he seemed ready to come she jumped up and ran out the door.

In shock he jumped up with his hard on and had to waddle towards the door with his pants around his ankles and called after her "Why do they call this a penguin?!!!"