"Listen, ma'am", he said, "crying only makes it worse."

One day in Dodge city a cowboy rides into town. He pulls up outside the saloon and gets off his horse. He ties the horse up and then walks round the back of it, lifts the tail and kisses the horse's backside with puckered lips. He then walks into the saloon.

Across the street an old timer can't believe what he's just seen so he rushes across and bursts into the saloon where he sees the cowboy drinking at the bar.

"Hey mister," he says. "Did I just see you kiss that hoss' ass?"

"Yep."

"If you don't mind me askin'. Why d'ya do that?"

"Cos I got chapped lips," replies the cowboy.

"And kissin' your hoss' ass cures chapped lips?"

"Nope," says the cowboy, "but it sure stops you lickin' them."

Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law."

The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes.

One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?"

The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?"