1. Gargamel
   Most likely LSD. spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in faggy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. what does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?

2. Olive Oil
   Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! she might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell are Popey and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for courting her.

3. Snagglepuss
   Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.

4. Heman
   This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the shit in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse.

5. Yogi
   We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side ? - Are they gay? I mean, take a look at boo boo.

6. Boo Boo
   We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side ? - Are they gay? I mean, take a look at boo boo.

7. Droopy
   The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper every year or two? The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.

8. Dopey Dwarf
   He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigations. Allegations that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys are partaking are afloat.

9. Daffy Duck
   If he isn't using crack, Merion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him. Might for his buddy with Tourettes, Porky though.

10. Shaggy
    By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does pot. And Look at the way him and his friends painted that van!

"Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench.

"Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked.

"No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed."

"Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces."

"The prostitute", he continued, "grabbed with both hands and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."

"Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the third was a newlywed?"

"Because she held it one hand and pushed her head toward it with the other."

A physician passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, and greedy to boot, so he wasn't quite certain what to expect.

Upon his arrival at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him and informed the Doctor that he would be allowed to choose from one of the doors before him, but that because of his greed and misdeeds, he may find the choices rather hellish.

Upon opening door #1, he witnessed fire and brimstone of truly Biblical proportions, a horrifying sight, and quickly closed it. Upon viewing the spectacle behind door #2, he was even more horrified to observe various tortured souls ravaged by plague, disease, and other maladies too terrible to mention, while an evil guard stood watch.

With trepidation he opened door #3 to discover therein groups of white-coated male physicians, being waited on hand and foot by beautiful young women dressed in little more than nursing caps! He rushed excitedly back to Saint Peter and proclaimed, "I'll take door #3!"

"Oh, no, I'm afraid that's not possible," exclaimed Saint Peter. "That's NURSES' Hell!"